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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 714599 times)

pisskop

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3300 on: May 17, 2016, 12:41:24 pm »

She took the whole thing very well.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3301 on: May 18, 2016, 12:12:19 am »

She took the whole thing very well.
I hate you.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3302 on: May 19, 2016, 03:36:30 pm »

Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Self Actualization
  Esteem
   belongingness (sic)
    Safety
     Physiology
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3303 on: May 20, 2016, 03:50:25 am »

Mazlow's Pyramid
That's hardly terrible or a joke. I guess it qualifies as a visual pun?
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3304 on: May 20, 2016, 04:14:10 am »

Visual puns are pretty terrible jokes
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3305 on: May 20, 2016, 09:11:09 am »

Visual puns are pretty terrible jokes
ding-ding-ding!
Visual puns are complete bullshit. But they are still one step above quote pyramids.
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3306 on: May 20, 2016, 06:44:23 pm »

Why do red shoes hurt your feet?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3307 on: May 26, 2016, 02:36:53 pm »

A bartender hears a great clattering of hooves outside of his bar. He looks out the window and sees an army of deer, all male, ride up to his bar, a man riding the frontmost one. He hops off the deer and walks into the bar.

As he dejectedly strolls to the bar itself, the bartender notes that he's carrying a steel pet carrier with an eerie red glow in it, and a cardboard box that's playing a little music. The man sits down and puts the carrier and the box down in the barstools next to him.

The bartender is very confused, and asks, "uh... what'll... it... be?" The man responds "martini," and the bartender prepares him one.

After a couple minutes of awkward silence, the bartender asks, "so, uh, what's with th--", but the man cuts him off, raising a finger to tell him to wait. The man puts the pet carrier on the bar, and peering inside, the bartender sees a baby chicken that is completely on fire. It doesn't appear to realize anything is amiss. The man opens the box, revealing a small man, perhaps a foot tall, playing a small piano.

"I think the genie hated me."
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3308 on: May 26, 2016, 02:43:24 pm »

For those that don't get the joke:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Joke failed though, it was funny.
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spümpkin

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3309 on: May 27, 2016, 04:05:58 am »



Here's some puns for y'all.

You're welcome.
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When in doubt, use puns.
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in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
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that's pretty gay

Sheb

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3310 on: May 27, 2016, 08:24:40 am »

What happened to the pilgrim when he went to Mount Olive?

Popeye nearly killed him.
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Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3311 on: May 27, 2016, 03:51:46 pm »

Why was the man afraid of wheat?

He was gluten-intolerant. It spelt his doom.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Xvareon

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3312 on: May 27, 2016, 09:57:57 pm »

"You're trying to run this place like a business! But I always thought of it more as a source of cheap labor -- like a family."

~ Professor Farnsworth, Futurama
« Last Edit: May 27, 2016, 10:18:42 pm by Xvareon »
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Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3313 on: May 31, 2016, 06:47:07 am »

Someone who commits a murder-suicide probably wasn't thinking through the afterlife.
BAM, you're dead. BAM, I'm dead...


(meeting outside pearly gates/whatnot)
"Oh, hey."
-Demetri martin.
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Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3314 on: May 31, 2016, 11:10:06 pm »

Someone who commits a murder-suicide probably wasn't thinking through the afterlife.
BAM, you're dead. BAM, I'm dead...


(meeting outside pearly gates/whatnot)
"Oh, hey."
-Demetri martin.
BAM, you're double dead. BAM, I'm double dead...

(meeting outside another gate)
"stahp, plz"
« Last Edit: May 31, 2016, 11:12:04 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?
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