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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 700989 times)

Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2475 on: September 01, 2015, 05:46:29 pm »
Quote from: Courtesy of my mother
Spoiler: What does a gay horse eat? (click to show/hide)
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
Quote from: Vector on March 17, 2011, 11:50:36 pm
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2476 on: September 02, 2015, 08:14:01 am »
How do you turn a profit with produce?

You salad.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 28, 2014, 03:28:43 am
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
Quote from: Wolfhunter107 on May 26, 2017, 08:10:14 pm
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2477 on: September 03, 2015, 02:07:28 am »
How do you get a new angle on your salad?

You spinach.
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I make Spellcrafts!
Quote from: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:07:07 pm
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Foxite

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2478 on: September 03, 2015, 01:05:03 pm »
When I die, I hope it is peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers.

Shamelessly ripped from https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3jgu6h/when_i_die/
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Quote from: Melting Sky on December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 pm
The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

Tomasque

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2479 on: September 03, 2015, 05:27:55 pm »
A man goes to a history museum where a bronze bull is on display. What he knows that the other people do not, is that he snuck a bomb inside it the night before, and now he is going to blow the whole museum up. As he gets ready to press the button that will make the bomb explode, one of the curators next to him speaks. "This is the last day they'll be showing this unique piece of history. Why?"

Spoiler: Punchline (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: martinuzz on August 04, 2015, 03:23:59 pm
The quantum cannonball hits you in the face and misses!
Quote from: ATHATH on August 10, 2015, 08:21:35 pm
Money!
GENERATION grisha5: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Omeganaut

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2480 on: September 03, 2015, 06:15:52 pm »
What did the Viking say to his family when they asked him about how he avoids bad weather on his voyages.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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My extended sig
Includes the one and only !!DrunkFortress!! quote anthology.
Also: Bay 12 Archeology!  I bring the word of Bay12.  And the word is despair
I'm back, but I can't be consistant enough for games... Sorry!

Fniff

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2481 on: September 03, 2015, 06:19:36 pm »
Why did I go bother the skeleton?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2482 on: September 03, 2015, 07:21:21 pm »
Nine out of ten people enjoy gang-rape
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2483 on: September 03, 2015, 07:32:14 pm »
We've seen that joke a dozen times already
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on June 04, 2016, 07:55:42 pm
Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Quote from: Cinder on July 21, 2016, 09:25:53 pm
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2484 on: September 03, 2015, 07:40:15 pm »
And I enjoy it eleven out of twelve times. [/tastelessjoke]
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2485 on: September 04, 2015, 01:11:34 am »
"Inside" joke?
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2486 on: September 04, 2015, 01:15:02 am »
Why was the old man laughing all the time?

He had a little joker inside of him all along. Thanks to schizophrenia.
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I make Spellcrafts!
Quote from: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:07:07 pm
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2487 on: September 04, 2015, 01:20:14 am »
Quote from: Helgoland on September 02, 2015, 08:14:01 am
How do you turn a profit with produce?

You salad.
Quote from: Eric Blank on September 03, 2015, 02:07:28 am
How do you get a new angle on your salad?

You spinach.
When would I eat the salad?
When you lettuce.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2488 on: September 04, 2015, 03:04:25 am »
Why did they bury the sick man? Because he was a coffin.

Why did the braggart maul everyone? Because he was a lion.

Why did the engineer refuse to cross his own bridge? He didn't truss the supports.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2015, 03:06:57 am by Bumber »
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2489 on: September 04, 2015, 02:06:00 pm »
Q.) What do you call a British spy who likes to get tied up and spanked?
A.) James Bondage
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NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
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Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις
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