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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715973 times)

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2340 on: July 13, 2015, 11:39:30 am »

Quote from: a book titled "14000 Things to be Happy About"
babies that never cry

Quote from: a coworker
What kind of baby never cries?

Spoiler: my response (click to show/hide)
The female parental unit will instead be the one crying. And also beating you over the head with a vase.
Since a similar problem is already solved, you may consider expanding the solution domain.
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Shazbot

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2341 on: July 13, 2015, 11:43:43 am »

The KGB Headquarters was well known as the tallest building in Moscow, since you could lay down in the basement and see Siberia.
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Magnumcannon

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2342 on: July 13, 2015, 12:23:00 pm »

What's the difference between potato salad and a dead fetus?

I don't eat potato salad.
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Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2343 on: July 13, 2015, 12:55:59 pm »

What's worse than 10 dead babies hanging from a tree?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Steam ID: Spehss Cat
Turns out you can seriously not notice how deep into this shit you went until you get out.

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2344 on: July 13, 2015, 12:58:11 pm »

You guys have got to find some new dead baby jokes. It's not like you can't find them in a dumpster or under a bush, geez.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Mr. Strange

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2345 on: July 13, 2015, 04:32:24 pm »

So are you saying we should... start making more of them?
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Then you get cities like Paris where you should basically just kill yourself already.

You won’t have to think anymore: it’ll be just like having fun!

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2346 on: July 13, 2015, 04:35:58 pm »

It's the only possible solution. Some kind of industrialised process might be worth looking into as well.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Mr. Strange

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2347 on: July 13, 2015, 04:44:49 pm »

Putting breeding pairs in chains next to eachother worked last time, but you can't drain the human babies like with merfolk...
No, wait. Flooding the breeding room to flush babies into collecting area might actually work, and if kept submerged long enough you don't even have to individually kill them. Someone should try it in fortress mode to see if it works.
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Then you get cities like Paris where you should basically just kill yourself already.

You won’t have to think anymore: it’ll be just like having fun!

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2348 on: July 15, 2015, 04:14:07 pm »

What do you call a character in a work of fiction who is supposedly completely perfect, is liked by everyone around her, and is a lawyer?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2349 on: July 15, 2015, 08:43:12 pm »

What do you call a character in a work of fiction who is supposedly completely perfect, is liked by everyone around him, and is an anthropomorphic bowl of soup?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY.
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2350 on: July 15, 2015, 10:25:34 pm »

What do you call a character in a work of fiction who is supposedly completely perfect, is liked by everyone around him, and is pretty shitty?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY.
FTFY.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2351 on: July 16, 2015, 12:13:59 am »

What do you call a character in a work of fiction who is supposedly completely perfect, is liked by everyone around him, and seems like he knows it all but is actually full of hot air and shit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY.
FTFY.
FTFY. toilet humour is quality humour
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Steam ID: Spehss Cat
Turns out you can seriously not notice how deep into this shit you went until you get out.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2352 on: July 17, 2015, 11:08:03 pm »

What do you call a character in a work of fiction who is supposedly completely perfect, is liked by everyone around him, and seems like he knows it all but is actually a cartilaginous fish and shit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY.
FTFY.
FTFY. toilet humour is quality humour
FTFY. agreed

Magnumcannon

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2353 on: July 17, 2015, 11:33:52 pm »

What do you call a character in a work of fiction who is supposedly completely perfect, is liked by everyone around him, and seems like he knows it all but will actually spear this quote pyramid and shit?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY
FTFY.
FTFY.
FTFY. toilet humour is quality humour
FTFY. agreed
« Last Edit: July 17, 2015, 11:41:01 pm by Magnumcannon »
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Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2354 on: July 17, 2015, 11:43:09 pm »

There once was a woman in the 1940's who evaded the occupation, freed all of the fellow hebrews, brought down the occupation all by herself, assassinated hitler and made steamy passionate love to Rommel. What was her name?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
FTFY.
FTFY.
FTFY. toilet humour is quality humour
FTFY. agreed
FTFY.
FTFY.I don't get it.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.
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