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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 714856 times)

Jopax

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2325 on: June 29, 2015, 07:37:03 am »
Life is sad.
But not in Latvia!
In Latvia sad is forbidden, taken into forest and shot.
Like mother and father.

Such is life.
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"my batteries are low and it's getting dark"
AS - IG

acetech09

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2326 on: June 29, 2015, 11:34:48 am »
Quote from: Jopax on June 29, 2015, 07:37:03 am
Life is sad.
But not in Latvia!
In Latvia sad is forbidden, taken into forest and shot.
Like mother and father.

Such is life.

Ohhh, that's good.
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2327 on: June 29, 2015, 12:03:17 pm »
Two Latvian look at clouds.
One see potato.
Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.

One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask, "Who is?"
"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato."
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man, is secret police.
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

Quote from: tuypo1 on August 24, 2014, 09:25:26 pm
it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2328 on: June 29, 2015, 12:15:57 pm »
Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
A: None.
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Quote from: Fluffe9911 on March 08, 2023, 02:45:47 pm
I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2329 on: June 29, 2015, 06:23:51 pm »
Quote from: Tack on March 04, 2015, 01:26:02 pm
Two latvian look at sky.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Whole sky is cloud. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

Psh, c'mon. It was barely 50 pages ago.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2330 on: June 29, 2015, 06:26:54 pm »
Quote from: Tack on June 29, 2015, 06:23:51 pm
Quote from: Tack on March 04, 2015, 01:26:02 pm
Two latvian look at sky.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Whole sky is cloud. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

Psh, c'mon. It was barely 50 pages ago.
And it is no less funny.
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2331 on: June 30, 2015, 08:07:05 pm »
Why did the Spanish racist have a mustache?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

BlackFlyme

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2332 on: June 30, 2015, 08:13:34 pm »
My girlfriend accuses me of all sorts of stupid things. Like just yesterday, where she claimed that I wear her lingerie when she's not around. So I did what any reasonable person in this situation would do.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just kidding. I'm lonelier than Pluto felt after being rejected by his planetary chums.
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StupidElves

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2333 on: June 30, 2015, 09:16:23 pm »
Q.) How do Reavers clean their spears?
A.) They put it through the Wash!
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Accidentally made over 5000 copper maces once. I have no idea how that happened.

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The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2334 on: July 01, 2015, 01:16:59 am »
-My girlfriend accused me of being a pedophile. I'm impressed, that's a pretty big word for an eight year old.

-Donald Trump is running for president as a Republican. I'm surprised, I was sure he was with the Whig party.

Q.) Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A.) Because they have no fashion sense.

Q.) Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.) It was being taken to the slaughterhouse.

Q.) Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.) It was in my colon while I was crossing the road.

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Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2335 on: July 01, 2015, 01:41:14 am »
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Well, I had to get home from KFC, didn't I?
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The Bay12 postcard club
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 28, 2014, 03:28:43 am
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
Quote from: Wolfhunter107 on May 26, 2017, 08:10:14 pm
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2336 on: July 05, 2015, 07:29:17 pm »
Why did the deer cross the road?

It wanted to do a frontflip over that car. It worked, but the deer didn't.
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I make Spellcrafts!
Quote from: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:07:07 pm
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2337 on: July 07, 2015, 08:48:31 pm »
A man gets a very bad infection on his penis and is informed by his doctor that his penis will need to be amputated. Refusing to believe it, he storms out and goes fo get a second opinion from another doctor. The second doctor also tells him his penis will need to be amputated, so he goes to a third doctor who tells him likewise. Finally, in desperation, he goes to a practitioner of traditional chinese medicine.
"You've gotta help me" he says, "my doctor told me he's gonna have to cut my penis off"
"Western doctor always want to cut cut cut" the practitioner replies, "you go home, wait two, three week. Penis fall off all by itself"
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NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
----------------------
Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις

Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2338 on: July 13, 2015, 10:32:20 am »
Quote from: a book titled "14000 Things to be Happy About"
babies that never cry

Quote from: a coworker
What kind of baby never cries?

Spoiler: my response (click to show/hide)
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
Quote from: Vector on March 17, 2011, 11:50:36 pm
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2339 on: July 13, 2015, 10:41:38 am »
Quote from: Akura on July 13, 2015, 10:32:20 am
Quote from: a book titled "14000 Things to be Happy About"
babies that never cry

Quote from: a coworker
What kind of baby never cries?

Spoiler: my response (click to show/hide)
The female parental unit will instead be the one crying. And also beating you over the head with a vase.

Such is life.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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