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[miauw62]

Spoiler: Came up with this at work (click to show/hide)

A man is sitting on a chair in a living room, his wife and son upstairs.  He hears two knocks at the door and heads over to it asking, "Who's there?"  A voice replies, "You know."  The man asks in confusion, "You know who?"
James Potter is thrown back onto the stairs behind him as the door explodes.  Standing in the doorway is Voldemort, who says with a smirk, "How did you guess?"

Wrong thread.

[Avis-Mergulus]

objective criteria.

hue

I wanted to put "objective" in italics, but I thought that would be lame-ppoi. I remembered which thread we're in too late.

[hops]

-snip-

I don't know why but by the end of reading that I with laughing a little.

I can explain that, if you want.

The premise of the passage is that the author had picked a joke, and due to the author of this passage being the same person, they are aware that they had perceived it as the best joke they know. The passage explained the joke in excruciating details, which would kill it in the process. However, the passage itself is a joke in itself, a meta-joke, if you will.

The dry explanation of the EpiPen joke is highly exaggerated, and if the reader had read closely enough it can easily be gleaned that the passage is not serious, with references to lycanthropy and obvious statements regarding how death cause people to die. The explanation of the possible fate of the anaphylaxis victim is clinical in tone as to invoke the idea of the author not actually caring whether or not the theoretical victim is dying.

In a way similar to how the EpiPen joke works, in that it is intended to shock the audience. For some reasons, when a taboo topic is broached in a non-serious manner, an individual will either become offended or amused. Thus so, the purpose of the passage is to 'shock' the audience with how boring and verbose it is in examining what is simply a single sentence.

[Tack]

I read the whole thing, and totally missed the lycanthropy bit.

Now I'm wondering if adrenaline would actually help with it. I feel like it would be the exact opposite.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Bay12 asks me if I want to hear I terrible joke. I say,

"Sure Bay12!"

Bay12 stabs me in the pancreas.

#prettylegitimatelybad #sorelatable

[Tack]

Who doesn't love the smell of frying bacon?

Probably pigs, definitely Muslims.

If nobody liked it, what would be the point of forbidding it in the first place?

Differences between like and love notwithstanding, it's possibly because of all of the people who died from food poisoning back in the day, pork being terrible for it.
This being, nobody likes death- it's impossible to forbid death- so they forbid bacon.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Who doesn't love the smell of frying bacon?

Probably pigs, definitely Muslims.

If nobody liked it, what would be the point of forbidding it in the first place?

Differences between like and love notwithstanding, it's possibly because of all of the people who died from food poisoning back in the day, pork being terrible for it.
This being, nobody likes death- it's impossible to forbid death- so they forbid bacon.

Yeah, I know that. My point was, if you eat a handful of ground glass, you'll probably die too. Nevertheless, Islam doesn't specifically forbid eating ground glass because it's assumed that nobody wants to.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Seriously, though, I just got an idea for a youtube channel. Name it something like, "Cinder's Weekly Joke Review" or something like that. Then each week, take, say, five jokes, explain each one in excruciating detail, then choose the best one according to an excessively detailed set of objective criteria. Maintain a perfectly straight face through the whole thing.

I would watch that.

[Bumber]

This one came to me in a dream last night:
"What do you call it when a character tells a joke only the audience can hear?" Meta material.

[Orange Wizard]

Seriously, though, I just got an idea for a youtube channel. Name it something like, "Cinder's Weekly Joke Review" or something like that. Then each week, take, say, five jokes, explain each one in excruciating detail, then choose the best one according to an excessively detailed set of objective criteria. Maintain a perfectly straight face through the whole thing.

I would watch that.

It sounds glorious.

[Sheb]

So an ISIS fighter is manning a checkpoint and stop the car of a Christian couple.

ISIS guy: Are you Muslim?
Christian man: Yes.
ISIS guy: If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.

Christian man recited a verse from the Bible.

ISIS member: Ok yallah go.

Later his wife tells him: "I cannot believe the risk you just took.
Why did you tell him that we are Muslims?
If he knew you were lying he would have killed both of us."

"Do not worry! If they knew the Quran they would not kill people" answered the Husband.

[Descan]

That feels like a "forward from (muslim) grandmas" thing.

[kaenneth]

A man walks into a whorehouse looking for a little action and he goes up to the house owner and asks,“Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies you've got here?” “Sorry sir,” the owner responds, “but, we're all full.” “Aw, please I really need some poon tang!”

And the owner answers, “Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom.” “Whatever,” the man answers quickly and races upstairs.

A few hours later the man comes down and says ''Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?” And the owner answers, “Respect for the dead.”

[Tack]

Brazil brought out a line of 'Olympiad Medallion' condoms.
They ended up with massive overstocking problems due to only the 'silver' edition selling in stores.
Apparently there was a lot of desperate women who wanted their men to come second for once.

[ggamer]

How did the man die while watching Lost?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A tragic heart condition, brought on by years of poor health decisions