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[crazysheep]

I heard that one, but it was... not about lawyers.

Politicians?

[EnigmaticHat]

I heard that one, but it was... not about lawyers.

Politicians?

Black people

[4maskwolf]

Oh god EnigmaticHat's personal text...

[Worldmaster27]

During WWII, Japanese food producers wanted to create a tasty snack food for their soldiers who were fighting the Americans. They figured that the easiest way to do so would be to steal and rename an American product, flavored chips.

Spoiler: What they called this new product? (click to show/hide)

Hirohitos

[crazysheep]

Black people

Well, since we're in the terrible jokes thread... /shrug.

[BlackFlyme]

Roses are red; my name is Dave; This poem's no sense; microwave.

[Avis-Mergulus]

I heard that one, but it was... not about lawyers.

Politicians?

Black people

I've heard this same joke with a Chukchi instead of a priest. As in, a Chukchi man arrives to Moscow and takes a taxi at the rail terminal (an unwise move, but the story's not about that). So the taxi driver approaches a zebra crossing and sees a grandma crossing the road. He swerves around her. The Chukchi says to him:

- Russian hunter bad hunter. If Chukchi not open door, grandma would've get away.

[Tack]

Roses are red; my name is Dave; This poem's no sense; microwave.

Haikus are fun;
But sometimes they don't make sense;
Refrigerator.

[Kadzar]

I watched King of Beggars recently, and I figure this is the most, well appropriate isn't quite the right word, but we'll just say it is, place to share this:

So this scene takes place in a brothel. The Madame is showing Mr. So around.
Madame: Mr. So, today's your big day. You must be very happy. We have some new girls you'll like.
Mr. So: Are they goldfish or cooked fish?
Mr. So's friend: What does that mean?
Madame: You idiot! You can only look at goldfish.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cooked fish can be eaten.

[Tawa]

What do you call it if two gay men are ordered to go to the movies together?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A mandate

[Tack]

I heard that one, but it was... not about lawyers.

Politicians?

Black people

The one I heard was priest and trucker- the priest says "I know how taxing these roads can be my son. If you would like me to drive, I'd be happy to."
Trucker grabs some much-needed sleep.
*Thump* - "What was that!?"
"Don't worry my son, I've hit a ______. God will forgive me"
Goes back to sleep (for some reason)
*Thump* - "What happened!?"
"Ah, Sorry to wake you my son. I hit another ______. I'll let the right people know in the morning"
Goes back to sleep.
*Bang* *Bang* *Thump*
"What the hell!?"
"Yes, me again. I seem to have hit another _____."
"What were the other thumps?"
"Well... There were a few fences in the way."

[4maskwolf]

What do you call it if two gay men are ordered to go to the movies together?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A mandate

This was clever and quite dwarfy.  -5 points.

[Bohandas]

A certain naval captain was known for wearing a red shirt during battle so that if he was wounded it would not be apparent and morale would not suffer. One day his lookput spotted twenty five enemy ships on the horizon closing fast, so the captain issued the order "bring me my brown pants!"

[Orange Wizard]

That joke was really shitty, Bohandas.

[Insanegame27]

A certain naval captain was known for wearing a red shirt during battle so that if he was wounded it would not be apparent and morale would not suffer. One day his lookput spotted twenty five enemy ships on the horizon closing fast, so the captain issued the order "bring me my brown pants!"

It's not even the full joke, either.


"The captain of a ship saw a single enemy ship on the horizon. He ordered his first mate/whatever to fetch his red coat so that if he was shot, it would not appear so to keep morale up. 'Captain!' The lookout shouted from the crow's nest, 'twenty enemy ships on the horizon!'
The captain replied, 'fetch me my brown pants.'




(It was a coat, not a shirt)