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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715409 times)

Slayerhero90

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1680 on: February 08, 2015, 10:09:27 pm »

can't remember if i retold this one here:

what do you call a fish without legs
a fish
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1681 on: February 08, 2015, 11:09:43 pm »

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1682 on: February 08, 2015, 11:15:46 pm »

1: That is terrible.

Steve has a cold. He coughs a lot. For some reason, every time he has a serious coughing fit, some high-profile website like Facebook or the NSA's site goes down for a few hours, which Steve hears about on the news. After his cold goes away, the constant apparent DDS attacks disappear, too. Steve wonders why while he drives to work a few days later.

Then it hits him.

He had a hacking cough.
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KingofstarrySkies

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1683 on: February 09, 2015, 04:27:29 am »

Both of you deserve to be put in a lovely black car.

No, not a limo.
The other one.
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pisskop

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1684 on: February 09, 2015, 06:18:30 am »

A sudan?
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1685 on: February 09, 2015, 06:56:56 am »

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Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1686 on: February 10, 2015, 02:19:18 am »

Q.) Why did the chicken screw in a lightbulb during an obscene family vaudeville act?
A.) No soap, radio.
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Morrigi

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1687 on: February 10, 2015, 02:28:20 am »

How would you pick up a hot girl in Auschwitz?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1688 on: February 10, 2015, 02:33:56 am »

How would you pick up a hot girl in Auschwitz?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"My grandfather died at Auschwitz... He fell from a watchtower" -Uwe Boll, Postal
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Morrigi

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1689 on: February 10, 2015, 07:26:06 am »

How would you pick up a hot girl in Auschwitz?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"My grandfather died at Auschwitz... He fell from a watchtower" -Uwe Boll, Postal
"My grandfather died at Auschwitz as well... A guard fell on him."

Also, http://russia-insider.com/en/2015/02/06/3199

According to 2 years of Kremlin research, President Obama is actually a lizard from outer space.
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1690 on: February 10, 2015, 07:42:32 am »

That seems likely to me as well. Especially judging by the dumb way he rides a bicycle.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1691 on: February 10, 2015, 09:15:02 am »

Does anyone else think Professor Stephen Hawking would make a good comedian? He has such dry delivery!
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Morrigi

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1692 on: February 10, 2015, 10:06:42 am »

Hawking has a great sense of humor.
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tonnot98

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1693 on: February 10, 2015, 10:29:06 am »

A midget psychic escaped from prison.

He was a short medium at large.


When William joined the army, he disliked the phrase: Fire at will.
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #1694 on: February 11, 2015, 12:34:33 am »

Q.) What do you call a show where smart mouthed fast-food products fight a yearly deathmatch in a futuristic dystopia?
A.) Aqua Teen Hunger Games
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