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[hops]

The seeker of knowledge must first pay its price
So my first is in nice, but not found in vice

A drink for the road, before you go far
My second is in beer but not at the bar

The magic of threes, the third one is plain
You'll seek me in vain, and find none in pain

I'll lend you my ear, but none from my air
The fourth is now clear, keep on if you dare

I'm found in the rain, but not in a chain
My fifth ends the word of this journey insane

My sixth starts anew, and is found in a ghost
But not found in horror, or moonbeam, or toast

And sweet number seven, a ring of surprise
Is found in my toes, but not in my ties

The eighth and ninth do seem quite similar here
They're not found in area, but both found in near

The tenth is the leader of all letters alike
It's found when you bake, but not when you bike

Eleven's an object of mystery and thrills
You'll find it in gills, but not in the chills

And twelve brings to mind our own windows to souls
It's stacked up in piles, but not found on poles

Thirteen will dispatch you to lands far and near
You'll see it when veering, but not when you're steering

Fourteen is like diamonds, existing forever
You'll find it in toffee, as well as in clever

The fifteenth one's coming, the answer's now clear
You'll find me this year, yes, but not in a spear

Now sixteen's so frightening, you'll scream out in shock
For it's in my bone, see, as well as my sock

And now we will see this enigma's true power
For seventeen's in tour but not in the tower

We're near the end now, eighteen is up next
You'll find it in tux, but not in this text

And now at the end, the final clue's here
You'll find me in happy, as well as the pier

[Dutrius]

Spoiler: Riddle (click to show/hide)

The seeker of knowledge must first pay its price
So my first is in nice, but not found in vice

A drink for the road, before you go far
My second is in beer but not at the bar

The magic of threes, the third one is plain
You'll seek me in vain, and find none in pain

I'll lend you my ear, but none from my air
The fourth is now clear, keep on if you dare

I'm found in the rain, but not in a chain
My fifth ends the word of this journey insane

My sixth starts anew, and is found in a ghost
But not found in horror, or moonbeam, or toast

And sweet number seven, a ring of surprise
Is found in my toes, but not in my ties

The eighth and ninth do seem quite similar here
They're not found in area, but both found in near

The tenth is the leader of all letters alike
It's found when you bake, but not when you bike

Eleven's an object of mystery and thrills
You'll find it in gills, but not in the chills

And twelve brings to mind our own windows to souls
It's stacked up in piles, but not found on poles

Thirteen will dispatch you to lands far and near
You'll see it when veering, but not when you're steering

Fourteen is like diamonds, existing forever
You'll find it in toffee, as well as in clever

The fifteenth one's coming, the answer's now clear
You'll find me this year, yes, but not in a spear

Now sixteen's so frightening, you'll scream out in shock
For it's in my bone, see, as well as my sock

And now we will see this enigma's true power
For seventeen's in tour but not in the tower

We're near the end now, eighteen is up next
You'll find it in tux, but not in this text

And now at the end, the final clue's here
You'll find me in happy, as well as the pier

Spoiler: Answer (click to show/hide)

Nevergonnagiveyouup
...
Damn it, I've been Rick-rolled.

[tonnot98]

I'm not racist! I had a black best friend until my father sold him!

[Bohandas]

Santa won't bring you any toys if you're greedy....that's why he doesn't stop at the houses of Jewish children.

[Reelya]

Q.) What's the difference between Christmas and Bicycle Day.
A.) One perversely celebrates the origin of something that has destroyed countless people's ability to think and reason, whereas the other is Bicycle Day.

That joke just fails at even being terrible. The whole point of that joke structure is that you can misconstrue one thing for the other. e.g:

Q.) What's the difference between The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
A.) One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

^ Structurally, also notice that the element order is reversed in the answer part compared to the question part. This is important, if you had asked it as

Q.) What's the difference between Bicycle Day and Christmas
A.) One perversely celebrates the origin of something that has destroyed countless people's ability to think and reason. The other, of course, involves bicycles.

It actually works better. With your first version, I immediately was thinking "Christmas" for the answer. Putting bicycle day first makes it foremost in the mind. Also, break down the bicycle day thing in the answer too.

[Bohandas]

Q.) What's the difference between The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
A.) One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

I wouldn't have gone with Lord of the Rings

Q. What's the difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Ayn Rand?
A. One wrote a collection of science-fiction books which became the focus of a dangerous cult, the other wrote Battlefield Earth

[Bohandas]

Q.) What's the difference between Bicycle Day and Christmas
A.) One perversely celebrates the origin of something that has destroyed countless people's ability to think and reason. The other, of course, involves bicycles.

Also, perhaps the line line of this one should more properly be "the other one involves bicycles and LSD"

[Dutchling]

I painted my pc black because I thought it would run faster, but it just stopped working :c

[My Name is Immaterial]

I painted my pc black because I thought it would run faster, but a cop shot it.

FTFY
Edit: I just got it.

[Knit tie]

I painted my pc black because I thought it would run faster, but it just stopped working :c

Why not red? Red 'unz go fasta.

[Yoink]

I painted my PC red because I thought it would run faster, but then it bulldozed my desktop to make room for a casino. :c

[KingofstarrySkies]

that political humor tho

[Helgoland]

I made my PC black because I thought it would run faster, but apparently that particular RPG isn't that racist...

[a1s]

I painted my PC red because I thought it would go faster, but it decided it rather be dead.

[Yoink]

I painted my PC yellow because I thought that would make it smarter, but now it just takes photos with its webcam all the time. :c