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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 714408 times)

Sergius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #960 on: September 19, 2014, 10:51:28 am »
Why do graveyards have fences? Because people are dying to get in.

Which kind of toast can fly? A plain toast.
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gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #961 on: September 19, 2014, 12:49:32 pm »
I hear Katie Price has a new baby called Bunny.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Hehe, you thought there would be an interesting sig here

I now run a program which brings old multiplayer games back to life : click

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #962 on: September 19, 2014, 12:51:50 pm »
You are awful...ly funny.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

If you struggle with your mental health, please seek help.

KingofstarrySkies

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #963 on: September 19, 2014, 12:55:25 pm »
We are a bunch of horrible human beings
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Sigtextastic
Vereor Nox.
There'll be another King, another sky, and a billion more stars...

gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #964 on: September 19, 2014, 01:02:50 pm »
It is a terrible joke, so I believe it deserves a place here.
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Phmcw

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #965 on: September 19, 2014, 01:08:42 pm »
What does jk Rowling says in front of literrary critics?

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« Last Edit: September 19, 2014, 01:11:04 pm by Phmcw »
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Quote from: toady

In bug news, the zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age and he fled into the hills.

Morrigi

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #966 on: September 19, 2014, 01:10:01 pm »
Quote from: Phmcw on September 19, 2014, 01:08:42 pm
What does jk Rowling says in front of literrary critics?

Quote
They see me, Rowling. They're rating...
...That was just painful.
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Cthulhu 2016! No lives matter! No more years! Awaken that which slumbers in the deep!

gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #967 on: September 19, 2014, 01:11:28 pm »
How does JK Rowling write books?

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Jiharo

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #968 on: September 19, 2014, 01:30:24 pm »
Geek, an extreme Tolkien fan, frees a genie who offers him three wishes.
"I want to live in Middle Earth! I want to be an elf! And... and... I want to be wise, noble and for everyone to love me!"
Genie says "Well, it's more than three but okay," makes some arcane gestures and geek loses his consciousness.
When he comes to he finds himself in a beautiful room, decorated with wonderful art. He spies a mirror and lo! he is indeed a majestic elf. He walks out of room into the hallway, and it's filled with elves who bow to him. Suddenly, a messenger rushes into hallway.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 19, 2014, 01:33:06 pm by Jiharo »
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Quote from: zwei on May 13, 2011, 01:49:14 am
Quote from: PTTG?? on May 13, 2011, 01:46:06 am
All your goblin bone bolts, suddenly rising up in vengeance...
I wonder ... is it smart amunition or dumb amunition?

Phmcw

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #969 on: September 19, 2014, 01:48:35 pm »
Quote from: Jiharo on September 19, 2014, 01:30:24 pm
Geek, an extreme Tolkien fan, frees a genie who offers him three wishes.
"I want to live in Middle Earth! I want to be an elf! And... and... I want to be wise, noble and for everyone to love me!"
Genie says "Well, it's more than three but okay," makes some arcane gestures and geek loses his consciousness.
When he comes to he finds himself in a beautiful room, decorated with wonderful art. He spies a mirror and lo! he is indeed a majestic elf. He walks out of room into the hallway, and it's filled with elves who bow to him. Suddenly, a messenger rushes into hallway.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I don't get it.
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Quote from: toady

In bug news, the zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age and he fled into the hills.

gigaraptor487

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #970 on: September 19, 2014, 01:51:29 pm »
Quote from: Jiharo on September 19, 2014, 01:30:24 pm
Geek, an extreme Tolkien fan, frees a genie who offers him three wishes.
"I want to live in Middle Earth! I want to be an elf! And... and... I want to be wise, noble and for everyone to love me!"
Genie says "Well, it's more than three but okay," makes some arcane gestures and geek loses his consciousness.
When he comes to he finds himself in a beautiful room, decorated with wonderful art. He spies a mirror and lo! he is indeed a majestic elf. He walks out of room into the hallway, and it's filled with elves who bow to him. Suddenly, a messenger rushes into hallway.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You know the joke is truly awful when you have to google the punchline.
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scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #971 on: September 19, 2014, 01:53:28 pm »
Quote from: Phmcw on September 19, 2014, 01:48:35 pm
Quote from: Jiharo on September 19, 2014, 01:30:24 pm
Geek, an extreme Tolkien fan, frees a genie who offers him three wishes.
"I want to live in Middle Earth! I want to be an elf! And... and... I want to be wise, noble and for everyone to love me!"
Genie says "Well, it's more than three but okay," makes some arcane gestures and geek loses his consciousness.
When he comes to he finds himself in a beautiful room, decorated with wonderful art. He spies a mirror and lo! he is indeed a majestic elf. He walks out of room into the hallway, and it's filled with elves who bow to him. Suddenly, a messenger rushes into hallway.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I don't get it.

As far as I can tell... he got cast as the villain.
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Quote from: Akura on April 17, 2016, 12:06:46 pm
We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Phmcw

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #972 on: September 19, 2014, 02:05:38 pm »
You got me to check the story instead of looking for a play of words. He get eaten by a werewolf later in the story, after losing his throne.
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Quote from: toady

In bug news, the zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age and he fled into the hills.

Slayerhero90

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #973 on: September 19, 2014, 11:00:17 pm »
What time is it when you're locked in a house with a complete stranger?
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Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #974 on: September 21, 2014, 11:56:13 am »
Some Warhammer 40k jokes:


How many Space Marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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How many Chaos Space Marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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How many Eldar does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many Orks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How many Imperial Guardsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
Quote from: Vector on March 17, 2011, 11:50:36 pm
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.
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