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[Bohandas]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A carrot.

Q.) What's brown and sounds like a bell?
A.) Dung

[mastahcheese]

I was considering telling a joke about a pizza, but it'd be too cheesy.

But you know what's never too cheesy?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MMMMMAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[scrdest]

I was considering telling a joke about a pizza, but it'd be too cheesy.

But you know what's never too cheesy?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MMMMMAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You obviously never had freshly melted cheese.

[Sergius]

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Give a man a fish, and he wont be hungry for a day. Give a fish the man, and he wont be hungry for the rest of his life.

[Slayerhero90]

(Not original joke)

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for the rest of his life, but teach a fish to man and he will never feel like he belongs.

[hops]

What do you call an infection that makes you sound like an exasperated internet message (e.g. ERRRMAGAAAHD I GOTAT GTE HOEM TOO MAEK DINNAR)

A "staaaahp" infection

stahp

[Sergius]

What do you call an infection that makes you sound like an exasperated internet message (e.g. ERRRMAGAAAHD I GOTAT GTE HOEM TOO MAEK DINNAR)

A "staaaahp" infection

stahp

hammertime?

[Biowraith]

What do you call an infection that makes you sound like an exasperated internet message (e.g. ERRRMAGAAAHD I GOTAT GTE HOEM TOO MAEK DINNAR)

A "staaaahp" infection

stahp

collaborate and listen?

[Tawa]

What do you call an infection that makes you sound like an exasperated internet message (e.g. ERRRMAGAAAHD I GOTAT GTE HOEM TOO MAEK DINNAR)

A "staaaahp" infection

stahp

hammertime?

In hammerspace.

The hammerspacetimecontinuum.

STOP

PHYSICS TIME

I need some sleep and should stop posting before a joke crosses the line.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Got another one:
Teach a man to fish, and he won't go hungry again. Teach a fish to man, and you'll need a bigger boat.

[Mr. Strange]

Thank you, imgur!

[hops]

An English sailor once heard that deep in the Chinese mountainside, there is a Chao who understands the meaning of life, and it isn't God. Enraged by this, he set sail there and climbed up the mountain to find a flock of Chaoes. Asking a nearby chinese man where the enlightened one is, he pointed to the robed Chao, chewing on the grass.

"So! We meet at last, imposter. If you truly are enlightened, tell me, what is the meaning of life?"

Master Chao looked up at him calmly, and answered. "Mu."

And then nobody was enlightened, because they don't speak Chinese.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that was terrible.

[Jimmy]

Thank you, imgur!

Thank you so much for these. Made my morning.