Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 27 28 [29] 30 31 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 712710 times)

Rose

  • Bay Watcher
  • Resident Elf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #420 on: March 22, 2014, 02:38:38 am »

Midwesterners hate Skrillex for a similar reason.
Logged

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #421 on: March 22, 2014, 08:21:56 am »

"Comrade, if we are on the road to Communism, why are we so hungry?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In the time of the Czars, power was passed from father to son. Now, in the TsK KPSS, it is passed from grandpa to grandpa.
"When we finally achieve communism, will we still be using money?"
"No, it'll all be spent under socialism."
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #422 on: March 22, 2014, 10:37:47 am »

"Comrade, if we are on the road to Communism, why are we so hungry?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In the time of the Czars, power was passed from father to son. Now, in the TsK KPSS, it is passed from grandpa to grandpa.
"When we finally achieve communism, will we still be using money?"
"No, it'll all be spent under socialism."
It's dangerous to go swimming in the Black Sea - you can dive in a Premier, and come up a pensioner.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Comrade P.

  • Bay Watcher
  • For space is wide and good friends are too few
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #423 on: March 22, 2014, 10:55:01 am »

1980

Armenian radio is asked: "Do all the countries now live in XX century?"
Armenian radio answers: "All exept two - USSR lives in XIXth and Japan lives in XXIst"
Logged
Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #424 on: March 22, 2014, 11:27:28 am »

1980

Armenian radio is asked: "Do all the countries now live in XX century?"
Armenian radio answers: "All exept two - USSR lives in XIXth and Japan lives in XXIst"
As Armenian Radio jokes go, this one is lame.

A question for Armenian Radio: "Can a dude get pregnant?"
Armenian Radio: "Undetermined yet, but we're actively researching it."
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #425 on: March 22, 2014, 05:56:06 pm »

Oooh, Armenian Radio joke:

"Is there any remedy against a bald head?"
"We do not answer political questions."

(It's about Chrushtshow.)
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Guardian G.I.

  • Bay Watcher
  • "And it ducks, and it covers!"
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #426 on: March 22, 2014, 05:59:41 pm »

China launched a thermonuclear bomb on the Soviet Union - 5 million people were killed.
The Soviet Union retaliated by launching a rubber bomb on China - 500 million people are dead. The bomb continues to bounce!
Logged
this means that a donation of 30 dollars to a developer that did not deliver would equal 4.769*10^-14 hitlers stolen from you
that's like half a femtohitler
and that is terrible
Sigtext

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #427 on: March 23, 2014, 05:32:06 am »

I like this thread even more since it became the post-soviet terrible joke thread. What's about the Armenian radio anyway?
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Gigaz

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #428 on: March 23, 2014, 05:53:54 am »

I like this thread even more since it became the post-soviet terrible joke thread. What's about the Armenian radio anyway?

I only know those under the name Radio Yerevan jokes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio_Yerevan_jokes
Logged

Guardian G.I.

  • Bay Watcher
  • "And it ducks, and it covers!"
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #429 on: March 23, 2014, 06:29:36 am »

— What will happen if Egypt becomes a Soviet republic?
— There will be a deficit of sand.
Logged
this means that a donation of 30 dollars to a developer that did not deliver would equal 4.769*10^-14 hitlers stolen from you
that's like half a femtohitler
and that is terrible
Sigtext

Knit tie

  • Bay Watcher
  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #430 on: March 23, 2014, 06:40:59 am »

- My granpa wants to be in the KP.
- You mean KPSS?
- He's already been in the SS.
Logged

Guardian G.I.

  • Bay Watcher
  • "And it ducks, and it covers!"
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #431 on: March 23, 2014, 07:01:50 am »

— Will there be a Third World War?
— No, but there will be such a struggle for peace that not even a single stone will be left standing.
Logged
this means that a donation of 30 dollars to a developer that did not deliver would equal 4.769*10^-14 hitlers stolen from you
that's like half a femtohitler
and that is terrible
Sigtext

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #432 on: March 23, 2014, 07:41:10 am »

-Is it possible to achieve socialism in a highly industrialised country?
-Yey, but it would be a shame about the industry, wouldn't it?
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

tahujdt

  • Bay Watcher
  • The token conservative
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #433 on: March 23, 2014, 09:58:13 am »

Alright, here's my Communist joke:
A communist died and went to hell. The devil met with him and asked, "would you like to go to communist hell or capitalist hell?"
The communist replied, "of course I want to go to communist hell."
The devil said, "good choice. In the capitalist hell, they are getting the full hellfire treatment. In the communist hell, they have run out of coal."
Logged
DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #434 on: March 23, 2014, 10:08:19 am »

Heard that one, only in my version, the choice was between capitalist hell, where you have to eat a bucket of shit every day, and communist hell, where you have to eat two buckets, but there's a shortage of shit and somebody's nicked the buckets.
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”
Pages: 1 ... 27 28 [29] 30 31 ... 316