Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 36 37 [38] 39 40 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 712200 times)

crazysheep

  • Bay Watcher
  • [PREFSTRING:fluffy wool]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #555 on: May 26, 2014, 12:15:50 am »

Hey, I got a physicist joke - but there's quite a few of them around here, and I wouldn't like to have to explain it three or four times...

Do it anyway :3
Logged
"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

Arx

  • Bay Watcher
  • Iron within, iron without.
    • View Profile
    • Art!
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #556 on: May 26, 2014, 12:25:22 am »

Hey, I got a physicist joke - but there's quite a few of them around here, and I wouldn't like to have to explain it three or four times...

Do it anyway :3

Not sure if joke or not joke.

Any way, here's one shamelessly lifted from somewhere else I can't remember:

What do you call a snobbish crook going down a flight of stairs?



A condescending con descending.
Logged

I am on Discord as Arx#2415.
Hail to the mind of man! / Fire in the sky
I've been waiting for you / On this day we die.

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #557 on: May 26, 2014, 01:19:03 am »

I've got a really awful one, stolen borrowed from a friend. Who may have stolen it from somewhere else first, no idea. :P

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #558 on: May 26, 2014, 01:22:27 am »

Ahah, that one made me cringe. :p
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #559 on: May 26, 2014, 10:17:48 am »

What do you call a snobbish crook going down a flight of stairs?



A condescending con descending.
Yeah, I'm gonna steal that :P

EDIT:
Hey, I got a physicist joke - but there's quite a few of them around here, and I wouldn't like to have to explain it three or four times...

Do it anyway :3
QED.
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

squidgen

  • Bay Watcher
  • [INKING INTENSIFIES]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #560 on: May 26, 2014, 10:28:31 am »

Q: Have you ever eaten Somalian food?

A: No.

Well, neither have they!


That was terrible.
Logged

TheDarkStar

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #561 on: May 26, 2014, 10:48:08 am »

A statistician is sent to death row for egregious use of statistics. He is tied to a chair and the firing squad gets ready.

"THREE"
"TWO"
"ONE"

*BANG*

Half the bullets go to the right and half go to the left. The statistician pauses, looks around for a moment, and then drops over dead.
Logged
Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

scrdest

  • Bay Watcher
  • Girlcat?/o_ o
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #562 on: May 26, 2014, 11:41:11 am »

A statistician is sent to death row for egregious use of statistics. He is tied to a chair and the firing squad gets ready.

"THREE"
"TWO"
"ONE"

*BANG*

Half the bullets go to the right and half go to the left. The statistician pauses, looks around for a moment, and then drops over dead.

Sounds more like a thermodynamics guy. A statistician would complain that the bullet distribution is non-Gaussian.


Also, a painfully lame joke I thought of while sitting through a lecture:

What do you call a science of interactions of substances in the blood?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

* scrdest sees himself out.
Logged
We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Noel.se

  • Bay Watcher
  • Always lurking. Always watching.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #563 on: May 26, 2014, 02:38:58 pm »

A bunch of science enthusiasts talk about what to wear for a Halloween party.

"Hey guys, i think going as Einstein would be a relatively good idea. What about you?"
"Well, I've selected Darwin. Naturally."
"I frequently go as Hertz."
"Gauss, of course. That's a real chick magnet."
"What about Tesla to electrify the party?"
"Nah, Edison is much more direct."
"I'm always uncertain. I may go as Heisenberg this year."
"Currently, Ampere seems like the best choice for me."
"I like the idea of James Prescott Joule, but I don't think I have the necessary energy."
"I'm being pulled towards Newton."
"I'm considering Copernicus, but I'm to humble to go as a scientist. After all, the universe doesn't revolve around me."
"I'l go as Doppler. They will hear me coming."
"Losers. Hubble is the most Stellar costume!"


Logged

Baffler

  • Bay Watcher
  • Caveat Lector.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #564 on: May 26, 2014, 08:35:42 pm »

Very long joke. Not mine!

The buildup to this was interesting enough that I had forgotten it was even a joke until the very end, I was even a little surprised when the punchline actually came.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

WealthyRadish

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #565 on: May 26, 2014, 11:46:30 pm »

I actually laughed quite a bit at the end.
Logged

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #566 on: May 26, 2014, 11:51:47 pm »

I scrolled down to the end, but that's because I was pretty sure I'd read it before.
Turns out, I was right! :P It certainly was entertaining the first time I read it. Pretty sure I forgot about the joke by the end, too.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Redzephyr01

  • Bay Watcher
  • Ferrum Cor
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #567 on: May 29, 2014, 07:16:29 pm »

What's Doge's favorite game?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

JackOSpades

  • Bay Watcher
  • Lurker Supreme
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #568 on: May 30, 2014, 01:46:52 am »


 Why did the monitor lizard take Viagra?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Whats the generic form of Viagra?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Did you hear about the criminal who broke into pharmacies to steal Viagra?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 What pill helps old men get layed the most?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

sorry about the last one. rape jokes are never funny, they always seem forced.

pisskop

  • Bay Watcher
  • Too old and stubborn to get a new avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #569 on: May 30, 2014, 01:53:46 am »

^^^ He put 5 terrible jokes in that.
Logged
Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!
Pages: 1 ... 36 37 [38] 39 40 ... 316