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[Iduno]

Its like they don't want them to be thrown at people.

Then don't give them to Philadelphia fans.

[Reelya]

This hurts me. This hurts me deep down.

Punning on 2 words at once is pretty masterful.

That's like the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac, who used to lie awake at night wondering whether there really is a dog.

Yes, but also opposites. One is describing what those words mean, and one is using irony (the words not having the expected literal meaning).

That type of irony also exists in the example I gave. Dyslexia means an issue with spelling, but the example is applying that to concepts themselves.

[hector13]

I listen to a podcast so which has some terrible jokes.

Here is a selection.

I went to the doctor with a lettuce up my arse.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

he only put a dressing on it.

Why do you never see elephants hiding up trees?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

because they’re so good at it.

I’ve heard crocodiles can grow up to fifteen feet.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I’ve only ever seen them with four.

My friend goes to school with two bags.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

he’s bi-satchel.

I went to the video shop and asked if I could borrow Batman forever.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They said I have to bring it back tomorrow.

I went to the shop and asked if I could buy a kettle.

Kenwood, they said.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

well where’s he then?

[Iduno]

Some good'uns, hector.

You might like early Dinosaur Comics, which were a lot of puns and philosophy jokes. Today's ain't bad, either.

[hector13]

I enjoy it.

[Reelya]

Ooh I got one

What type of fruit was Eve tempted by in the garden of Eden?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Snektarines

[Yoink]

(Shamelessly stolen from a friend's Facebook)



You know what goes well with Coronavirus?

Lymes disease

[Egan_BW]

Genuinely unsure how funny, if at all, this one will be to anyone myself, but here goes.

i like my jokes like i like my women

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

uncomfortably horny

[Bumber]

(Shamelessly stolen from a friend's Facebook)



You know what goes well with Coronavirus?

Lymes disease

You put the Lyme in the Coronavirus, you drink 'em bot' together
Put the Lyme in the Coronavirus and you'll feel better

[Iduno]

Mephisto was talking about Townsends in the Food Thread, and long story short, I Won't Get Food Again.

Thank you and good night.

[Kagus]

Have you heard the one about the time traveler?


I haven't either, yet.

[Iduno]

A new person (been there twice that I've seen) at the bar tells awful half-formed jokes. It doesn't help that I was in a lot of physical pain, but they were stuff like "What do you call a tie with scales? A boa."

I did get some laughs later when someone patted their pockets, and said he was just making sure he didn't accidentally carry in his gun. I asked if he was just making sure he was happy to see us.

[Kagus]

Do you know what the laws are regarding secret extraterrestrial holding pens in the US?

It's a kind of grey area.


Did you hear the one about the deaf guy?

Neither did he.

[hector13]

What is The Clash’s best computer advice?

Lock the taskbar.

What is a Nazis lest favourite candy?

Jujus.

[King Zultan]

How did Hitler tie his shoes?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In little Nazis.