A frog, a leopard and an elephant are gathered in the jungle one day.
The frog says "I can jump higher than that rock!", and jumps on top of a nearby rock.
The leopard retorts "Oh yeah? Well I can jump higher than that log!", and jumps on top of a log.
The elephant observes this and calmly states "I can jump higher than the trees."
The frog and the leopard exchange dubious glances before the leopard speaks up, "I don't believe you, fatty.
Prove it!"
So the elephant takes a deep breath, stretches his muscles a bit, and then
*WHAM!*, he rockets off into the sky like he'd just realized he was late for the moon landing.
"Fuck," says the frog, "I was
not expecting that."
It's funny because the moon landing was faked
So, this guy's dog had a pretty serious flea problem, and they'd tried everything to get rid of them; powders, baths, collars, shots, yoga, the works, but nothing was getting the job done so he talked with his Chinese neighbor about the issue and the neighbor asked if he had any antifreeze in his garage; "yeah, why?" he answered, but the neighbor just said to give it to him, so he did and then the neighbor poured it all over the dog and the problem was fixed.
The joke here is that antifreeze is really quite toxic to most animals
What do you call someone who's interested in mathematics, but hesitates to get into the field because of the social stigma attached?
Why are bitches basic?