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[Helgoland]

I once heard this joke being told about a Marine, a Green Beret, and a liquor store owner from the Bronx (or a similar setup, I forget). First two can't bring themselves to shoot, the last one delivers the punchline*.

*Pun intended.

[Tomasque]

((I just realized there are identical cat ear pictures in Egan's, Orange Wizard's and Helgoland's profile pics. What's up with that?))

[BlackFlyme]

((Just some relics of an old avatar fad, like people who still have penguins or versions of Descan's viking))

Saw in the newspaper today that people were furious about Pamela Anderson's new advertisements on public buses. They say it is too sexy for transit.

I don't think it's sexy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I think its littering. All that plastic on public property.

[Helgoland]

After a while they just sort of grow on you.

There you have it: Worst joke in the thread.

[Tomasque]

After a while they just sort of grow on you.

There you have it: Worst joke in the thread.

I didn't need the invisitext to catch the bad pun. I have an ear for those sort of things.

[Arx]

((I just realized there are identical cat ear pictures in Egan's, Orange Wizard's and Helgoland's profile pics. What's up with that?))

Hehehe.

[technicallyAdventurer]

Some say Toriel is one hot mama, but what does that make Genocide Toriel?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

One-hit mama

[Eric Blank]

What do you get when you put a bird in a room with a goat?

A flight-of-fancy with a trashy ungulate.

[hops]

Some say Toriel is one hot mama, but what does that make Genocide Toriel?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

One-hit mama

What would Toriel change her last name to after she marries Sans?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Toriel Femur

[Tomasque]

 Some people say sans is fat. That's not true, he's just big-boned!

[Wozzy]

Spoiler: "What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?" (click to show/hide)

"Where's my tractor?!"

[IcyTea31]

A man is driving home, when he sees a man dressed completely in red standing by the road waving at him. Curious, he brings the car to a stop.

The man in red runs to the driver and says: "I am the red man and a [homophobic slur]! This is a robbery! Give me all your booze and tobacco!"

With not much choice, the driver gives the man in red his beers and packet of cigarettes from his grocery bag and drives onwards. Soon, he sees a man dressed completely in yellow standing by the road waving at him. He stops the car, slightly anxious.

The man in yellow runs to the driver and says: "I am the yellow man and a [homophobic slur]! This is a robbery! Give me your wallet!"

With not much choice, the driver gives the man in yellow his wallet and drives onwards. Soon, he sees a man dressed completely in blue standing by the road waving at him. Frustrated, he stops the car and says: "Look, I know that you're the blue man and a [homophobic slur]. I already gave away my booze and tobacco and wallet and I don't have much left to give but you're not going to take my ass!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The man in blue says: "Do you know how fast you were driving?"

[IcyTea31]

Yesterday, I saw this absolute thing of beauty across the hallway. My immediate thoughts were "I can't wait to be inside you" and "I'm gonna go down on you."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It was the best elevator I ever used.

[Grim Portent]

Yesterday, I saw this absolute thing of beauty across the hallway. My immediate thoughts were "I can't wait to be inside you" and "I'm gonna go down on you."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It was the best elevator I ever used.

This one's actually pretty good if you ask me. 

[Jopax]

A teenage girl was returning home from school one day. And since it was getting kinda late she decided to take a shortcut trough the nearby forest. Unfortunately for her, that lead her to cross paths with a rapist. So he grabbed her and had his way with her. After the act, both were lying on the ground rather exhausted and the rapist was about light a cigarette. The girl said: "Well, since you fucked me you might as well give me a smoke too you know."
Obliging he gave her a cigarette and went to light it first, the lighter revealing their faces for the first time in the dark of the forest.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"DAD!?!"
"Mary, you smoke?!?!"