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[Sergius]

"The joke is on you!"

"AHH get it off getitoff!"

[kaenneth]

"The joke is on you!"

"AHH get it off getitoff!"

That's why they used to throw eggs at bad comedians, so the yolk is on them.

[Helgoland]

From now on I'll only advocate violence if there are better options availible.

[Facekillz058]

How do you give a Redneck a circumcision?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Kick his sister in the jaw.

[kerlc]

Two sausages were being cooked in boiling water. Suddenly, one of them turns toward the other one and asks:" hey, isn't it a bit hot in here?"
To which the other one replies:"oh, look! A talking sausage!"

[Slayerhero90]

What's the difference between a dwarf with a fluffy wambler and a dwarf with a sawblade?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Both will get killed by what they're with.

[Dutchling]

Two sausages were being cooked in boiling water. Suddenly, one of them turns toward the other one and asks:" hey, isn't it a bit hot in here?"
To which the other one replies:"oh, look! A talking sausage!"

Ha, I get it! Sausages can't see

[USEC_OFFICER]

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Pick a cod, any cod!

She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

What's the internet's favourite animal?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The lynx.

Ha, I get it! Sausages can't talk

That actually made me laugher harder then the original joke. Good show.

[Sergius]

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

[Angel Of Death]

What do you call a man who has been shot five times in the chest?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dead.

[Starver]

^{I don't think this is a 'bad' joke (depends if you know what it's about, of course), and I can't even claim the credit/blame as it was told on the radio about a week back...}

I ordered a burger at the restaurant in Tescos the other day.  The waitress asked if I wanted anything on it.  I said "Yes, please.  A fiver each way"....

[The Darkling Wolf]

Hah, that's actually quite good.

[WealthyRadish]

Here's one I just thought of.

A man from California is attending his sister's wedding in Kentucky, and is invited to a barbecue before the rehearsal by his sister's soon to be father-in-law. The man accepts, but asks whether the meat will be free-range or not. The Kentucky man replies that he's unsure, since he hasn't heard the term before, and the Californian explains that it refers to animals raised in more natural conditions than mass production farms, which he views as cruel. To this the Kentucky man replies, "Shit, I didn't know they farmed squirrels in California!".

[Neonivek]

Let me see... terrible jokes

You are unbearable
I like to bear everything forward
I cannot bear it
Thank you beary much

Mmmmmm Terrible terrible jokes.

[The Darkling Wolf]

You belong in a tree Neonivek, you're a nut.