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[Descan]

I put a red wig on my PC because I thought it would do all my work for me, but now it just gets drunk and sings badly off tune. :V

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hohoho, Scottish administration of the British empire joke. I am the funnies. TOPICAL.

[My Name is Immaterial]

I painted my PC black because I see a red PC and I wanted it painted black.

I painted my PC black because I thought it would run faster, but it ran for president instead.

[LuckyKobold]

Jokes Thread, Oh Goody!

Okay right so three preachers go out to the lake so they can fish, A Protestant, A Catholic, And A Baptist. So they get in their boat and sail out to the middle of the lake when the Protestant says "Hey guys we're out of bait I'll go get some." the Protestant steps out of the boat onto the water walks across the lake and brings back fishing bait.Thirty minutes later the Catholic says "Hey guys I'm kinda hungry, I'll go get us something to eat." So the Catholic steps out of the boat onto the water and walks across the lake and brings back some food.So a few minutes later the Baptist says "Hey guys I'm kind of thirsty I'll go get something to wash the food down." So the Baptist steps out of the boat onto the water and sinks immediately and upon seeing this the Protestant says to the Catholic, "Hey uh, you think we should have told him where the rocks where?"

[Sinistar]

How do you recognize hipster dwarf?






He liked magma before it was made into obsidian.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Spoiler: What's the main difference between American and Saudi-Arabian women? (click to show/hide)

American women get stoned before commiting adultery, Saudi-Arabian women after.

im so sorry ;_;

[Helgoland]

-snip-

Huh, I know that one with a Rabbi, a Catholic Priest and a (rather wet) Protestant Preacher. Different regions, different punching bags~

[Worldmaster27]

Watson: I forget, what do they call primary school in the United States?

Sherlock: Elementary, my dear Watson.

I can't remember if I saw this in the thread before or not.

[Parsely]

That's a physics joke innit.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Friction coefficient.

[Dutrius]

That reminds me of a joke test we did at school a few years back. Among the questions were:

How many of each animal did Moses take on his ark?

A rooster lays an egg on a sloped roof. Which way does the egg roll?


Anyway, <div>How do you annoy a website designer?</span>

[crazysheep]

Anyway, <div>How do you annoy a website designer?</span>

can confirm that website designers cringe at this

[hops]

Watson: I forget, what do they call primary school in the United States?

Sherlock: Elementary, my dear Watson.

I can't remember if I saw this in the thread before or not.

Reminds me of this old joke...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

[SaberToothTiger]

Oh god, I did not see them coming. I need more.

[Orange Wizard]

That reminds me of a joke test we did at school a few years back. Among the questions were:

How many of each animal did Moses take on his ark?

A rooster lays an egg on a sloped roof. Which way does the egg roll?

Spoiler: Obligatory xkcd (click to show/hide)

[Descan]

I never understood how what he said could ever imply "language" ends in "gry." ... :U

Oh. No, now I get it, now that I saw the quotation marks around "The English - [ohgodmyhand]"