Q.) After Santa Claus finishes his yearly toy deliveries what does he do to celebrate?
A.) He hires a ho ho ho
Q.) What's the difference between Christmas and Bicycle Day.
A.) One perversely celebrates the origin of something that has destroyed countless people's ability to think and reason, whereas the other is Bicycle Day.
EDIT:
Q.) What's the difference between traveling-salesman/farmer's-daughter jokes and dead baby jokes?
A.) Traveling salesman jokes don't turn me on sexually.
[Related Note: there must be a way to combine these two venerable joke paradigms. Perhaps the salesman is selling dead babies? Or he thinks he is having sex with the farmer's daughter but it turns out to be a dead baby?]
Q.) Whay's the difference between a bomb and a bottle of water?
A.) If you try to bring a bottle of water on an airplane it will be confiscated by the TSA
similarly...
Q.) What's the difference between a Kalashnikov and a soft pretzel?
A.) Security at a lot of stadiums won't let you in if you're carrying a soft pretzel.
circling back...
Q.) What's the difference between a soft pretzel and a dead baby?
A.) You'll eventually become malnourished if you only eat soft pretzels.
EDIT:
Q.) What's the difference between a bank robber and a black man?
A.) The police won't shoot a bank robber unless they have to.
Q.) Why is a crucifix like a noose?
A.) You use them both to masturbate.