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[The Darkling Wolf]

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

and into a pub.

The joke was that the very idea of an Irishman walking out of a bar is simply preposterous.

Which is true, we usually need to be dragged or carried.

[Owlbread]

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

and into a pub.

The joke was that the very idea of an Irishman walking out of a bar is simply preposterous.

Which is true, we usually need to be dragged or carried.

O, se Eirionnach a th'ann. Math dha riribh. A bheil Gaidhlig agaibh? Tha mi duilich, chan eil Gaelge agam ach tha Gaidhlig (Gaelge Albannach) agam.

[Starver]

Re: Sloths.

I thought it was because they never went on holiday.  You only ever see them in their workplace, and they don't even get paid that much and there's no free drinks machine and the pasty shop across the road hasn't actually got particularly large selection of pasties, and Janice, three aisles down, always seems to be on the phone making non-business calls and you can hear her over the cubicle partitions but you're not supposed to be doing that, and as soon a sloth makes one little "Honey, I'm working a little late tonight!" call, their line-managers make unhelpful noises, and they don't want to have to go and have a chat with the HR representative again...  And what is it with "dress down Friday"?  It just means "smart casual" instead "smart", anyway, with about the only advantage being that you don't catch your tie in the shredder on that day.  Really, when it comes down to it, would you look happy on a work photo?  No!  Not even on that Team Building Weekend.  Especially on that Team Building Weekend.  A load of pseudo-psychological claptrap, that's what it is, and when you end up with a bronze medal at the end of it, and there were only two 'teams' actually competing.  And now Artie has called and wants to "Touch Base" on the new project, when everyone knows that it's never going to happen.  Not at that budget, and not by the schedule handed down by management.  So, no, you never see them smile in photos.  (Although occasionally one will photocopy his backside.  Carefully.  Don't want to get that "broken photocopier and glass in the buttocks" incident happening again.)

[The Darkling Wolf]

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

and into a pub.

The joke was that the very idea of an Irishman walking out of a bar is simply preposterous.

Which is true, we usually need to be dragged or carried.

O, se Eirionnach a th'ann. Math dha riribh. A bheil Gaidhlig agaibh? Tha mi duilich, chan eil Gaelge agam ach tha Gaidhlig (Gaelge Albannach) agam.

I'm from the English speaking part of the country

[Owlbread]

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

and into a pub.

The joke was that the very idea of an Irishman walking out of a bar is simply preposterous.

Which is true, we usually need to be dragged or carried.

O, se Eirionnach a th'ann. Math dha riribh. A bheil Gaidhlig agaibh? Tha mi duilich, chan eil Gaelge agam ach tha Gaidhlig (Gaelge Albannach) agam.

I'm from the English speaking part of the country

Tha mi tuigsinn, ach anns an Eirinn tha na sgoilearan a' dh'ionnsachadh Gaidhlig, nach eil? No Gaelge, tha mi duilich.

[LordBucket]

Haven't read the whole thread, but contributing a joke from my childhood:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ester.
Ester who?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ester Bunny.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Somoa.
Somoa who?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Somoa Ester Bunny.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Consumption.
Consumption who?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Consumption be done 'bout all these Ester Bunnies?!?!

[Remalle]

Mathematician jokes!

So a mathematician, a biologist, and a physicist are sitting down, enjoying their lunch together, when across the street they spot two people entering a building.  A little while later, three people leave.
"They must have reproduced," says the biologist.
The physicist says, "No, our initial measurement must have been in error."
Shaking his head, the mathematician replies "If one more person enters that building, it will be empty again."

[Helgoland]

The priest, during his sermon: "And every time I see that drunkard come out of the bar, I want to tell him: You're on the wrong way! Turn around!"



How do a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer prove that all uneven numbers are prime?

Mathematician: "3, 5, 7, 9 - nope, sorry."

Physicist: "3, 5, 7, 9 - must be an observational error - 11, 13 - okay, it's probably true."

Engineer: "3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21 - where's the problem?"

[pisskop]

I dono get it...

[Helgoland]

Engineers are stupid, and physicists are stupid in an intelligent way.

[GlyphGryph]

It's poorly told, because that's not really the joke.


A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer enter a mathematics contest, the first task of which is to prove that all odd number are prime. The mathematician has an elegant argument: `1's a prime, 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime. Therefore, by mathematical induction, all odd numbers are prime. It's the physicist's turn: `1's a prime, 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 11's a prime, 13's a prime, so, to within experimental error, all odd numbers are prime.' The most straightforward proof is provided by the engineer: `1's a prime, 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, 9's a prime, 11's a prime ...'.

OR

How a mathematician, physicist and an engineer prove that all odd numbers, (greater than 2), are prime.
Mathematician: "Well, 3 is prime, 5 is prime and 7 is prime so, by induction all odds are prime."
Physicist: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 isn't prime, (bad data point), 11 is prime, and so is 13, so all odds are prime."
Engineer: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 11 is prime 13 is prime, so all odds are prime."

Done in full, it's a clever play on the fact that the mathematician misapplies a basic approach, the physicist takes an experimental approach and expects themselves to err, and the engineer simply takes it at face value. By taking it as an axiom, they simply solve the problem in the most efficient way possible. If that's what they are, then that's what they are.

Ultimately, they joke is that they are ALL idiots in their own special way. ^_^

[Dutchling]

I still don't get the engineer part of the joke...

[GlyphGryph]

You told him to do it. So he did. That it isn't theoretically sound isn't important, all that's important is that he got the job done.

Prove all numbers are prime? Sure. All numbers are prime. I can even provide examples. Done.

[Dutchling]

Ah, I get it. The engineer is, in a way, the only one who did what was asked of him .

[Darvi]

Pretty much. Engineers don't concern themselves with trifles such as facts or morals.