Destroy phalli with dual-wielding ban hammers husk vampire zombie werewolf fully adamantine-clad superdorf skills.
(5vs6)(lol) THEY THROW A CHEESE WHEEL AT YOUR FACE, JAMMING THE BRAIN THROUGH THE SKULL,
Let the Specesia develop.
Use Your Eternal Reward on the Sniper.
Infiltrate his team's base.
(5)THEY DEVELOP GREEN APPENDAGES WITH TENTACLE LIKE-FINGERS. AND GO INTO THE BRONZE AGE. (5vs5)(The die hate the PC's taking advantage of them not being able to fuck you over, appearantly) EVER HEARD OF A RAZOR-BACK? THE GOOD NEWS IS YOUR FAILSTAB TOOK PLACE IN THE ENEMY BASE. IS GOOD TIME TO RUN COWARD.
>Annihilate the Phallic Barbarians from existence.
(5vs5)(Mother of god...)THEY QUICKLY CONVERT TO COMMUNISIM. IN REGULAR MINIMALIST RTD, YOU ANNHILATE PHALLIC BARABARIANS. IN SOVIET REPUBLIC OF PENIS LAND, BARBARIANS ANNIHILATE
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!SUMMON Godzilla and Cthulhu.
Have them take out phallic.
Also get human race from any sci fi series.
And SCP 682. For lols.
(5) CTHULU AND GODZILLA SUMMON. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER, PAUSE BRIEFLY, AND TACKLE THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER. (4vs3) THEY PAUSE BRIEFLY FROM THEIR EPIC FIGHT TO ANNIHILATE ONE OF THE PHALLIC HELD-WORLDS. THEY THEN CONTINUE. (5) YOU GET THE HUMAN RACE OF HUMANS.(5) HE TAKES ONE LOOK AROUND AND THINKS TO HIMSELF "This is the craziest shit I ever saw."
I'm not a robot, though. And that logic makes no sense...
Ah, I see, you're just being stupid.
(5vs1000) GWG BEATS THE GM AT A GAME OF LOGIC. BEIGN FREE FROM THE LAWS OF LOGIC, GWG SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS.
Wait. I'm fighting myself who also always rolls five and thus immune to all attacks.
... FUCK.
Roll a six for my next action.
Eliminate past-Corai by sending him back in time!
(5) YOU WILL ROLL SIX.
(5vs5) YOU ROLL SIX, BUT IT TURNS INTO 5.(SUGGESTION. YOU BOTH ALWAYS ROLL 5. PERHAPS FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN ROLL SIX? PERHAPS THE SNIPER?)
>SEND SHIPS TO COMBAT THE PHALLI AND BESIEGE THEIR HOMEWORLD.
(5vs4) RAIDER-BARBARIANS HAVE NO HOMEWORLD! YOU SIEGE A RANDOM PLANET INSTEAD.
>Annihilate the Phallic Barbarians from existence.
Nope.avi. Stop him. Protect empire.
(5) EVERYONE HATES YOU RIGHT NOW FOR SOME REASON. DON'T WORRY. NEXT TURN THEY'll ALL BE SIEGING THE MOON AND BLOWING UP SATURN FOR SOME INEXPLICABLE REASON.
>CONTINUE WORKING TO TRACK DOWN SEEDS/SAPLINGS OF PLUMP CAPS, MOON BERRIES, SHEEP TAILS AND MOUSE WEED.
IF SUCCESSFUL, GROW THEM IN THOSE GIANT FUTURISTIC PLANTER-THINGS I BUILT EARLIER.
>MAKE TIME TO TAKE WIFE (AND HER BODYGUARD MR NORRIS) ON SUPER-HAPPY ICE CREAM DATE WITH THE ARESIA AND THEIR WIVES, TO CHEER THEM UP. CONVINCE THEM STUFF ISN'T SO BAD.
INVITE LUIGI AND DAISY, TOO. OH AND MR TINKLES. AND THE DONKEY. AND MY ADVISORS. YOU KNOW WHAT?
>DO THAT, BUT ALSO ANNOUNCE A NATIONWIDE ICECREAM APPRECIATION DAY. MAKE IT AN ANNUAL EVENT.
I MAY NOT BE THE BEST RULER, BUT WHEN THERE'S A PARTY GOIN' DOWN I INVITE ALL MY LOYAL CITIZENS!
>SOURCE SPACE COWS FROM ACROSS GALAXY AND HOUSE THEM IN COMFORTABLE, FREE-RANGE WORK BUILDINGS TO PROVIDE MILK FOR THE ICE-CREAM, MAKING SURE TO PAY THEM FAIRLY IN CURRENCY OR GRASS, WHICHEVER THEY PREFER.
ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO, MOTHERFUCKER.
>ONCE THAT'S DONE, GO ON A SERIOUS DIET. GO JOGGING AND SHIT, TOO. OPEN A BUNCH OF FREE MUNCIPAL GYMS ACROSS THE SUN TO KEEP MY PEOPLE HEALTHY AND HAPPY. AT LEAST A SAUNA'S EASY TO TAKE CARE OF...
>THEN, HAVE THE ARESIA, STANDARD MILITARY AND THE GHOST SQUAD (BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT? HAVE THEY EARNED A VACATION SOMEHOW WHEN I WASN'T WATCHING THEM FAIL MISERABLY AT EVERYTHING?!) TO ARREST THAT GANG CAUSING TROUBLE ON SUN. ANY WHO RESIST ARE LAWFULLY KILLED ON THE SPOT.
>SIEZE THE GANG'S ASSETS AND WEAPONS, AND IF NECESSARY AUCTION THEM OFF TO COVER COSTS OF OBTAINING AFORMENTIONED PLANTS WITHOUT DAMAGING SUN'S ECONOMY
>ONCE GANG IMPRISONED, GIVE FAIR TRIAL AND SENTENCE TO BEING LAUNCHED AT EARTH IN SPECIALIZED, ONE-USE AUTOMATED SPACECRAFT. LIKE THE LAST GANG OF TERRORISTS. SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM NOW.
((Happy New Year, Misko! Sorry ya have to go back to school already. Eek.))
(5) FUTURISTIC BOOZE FOR EVERYONE. (5) ICE-CREAM IS MADE FORM FUTURISTIC PLANTS. EVERYONE VERY HAPPY. YOU ESPECIALLY SINCE THE PLANTS ARE SO VALUABLE.(5) SURE. YOU ARE GRANTED AN A+ BY THE MMAACD (Maggie Moo's Alliance Against Cow Discrimination). (5) FAT BURNED OFF ALL ACROSS SUN. (1+2+1vs4)(...) IN THEIR DEFENSE, IT WAS A REALLY TOUGH GANG. LIKE THE LCS ACTUALLY.
FANTASTIC RETURN WITH CYBERMOUSE EMPIRE! TAKE OVER PLUTO! COVER IT IN CHEESE! NAME IT CHEEZIA!!!!!!
(5) WERE YOU HERE EARLIER? OH WHO CARES. CHEEZY NAME PLANET MICE EMPIRE FOR YOU.
(1+1) ARESIA HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO DO.
(1) THE GHOST DIVISION DOENS'T EITHER.
(1) THE PHALLI ARE FREAKED OUT BY EVERYONE HATING ON THEM, SO THEY PRETEND TO BE STRICKEN BY PLAGUE. THEY PRETEND BY RELEASING A PLAGUE. EVERYONE BELIEVES THEM AS THEY CHOKE. DEATHTOLL IN MILLIONS.
(3+1) LUIGI MANAGES TO BE COMPETENT AT JOB, WITH DAISY'S HELP.
(5) FLEET ESTABLISHES IRON-CLAD CONTROL OVER SECTOR, AND PUSHES DEEP INTO PHALLIC TERRITORY WHIEL THEY ARE DISTRACTED.
(2) THE GANG TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THE POLICE'S FAIL BY DOING NOTHING USEFUL.
(4) GWG IS COVERED IN JARATE. (1+1) HOWEVER. THERE AREN'T ANY PYRO'S NEARBY, SO HE ISN'T QUITE SCREWED YET.
(46) KURTULMAK GET'S BORED. HE PASSES OUT OF REALITY TO OBSERVE WHAT EVIL OR CHAOS HE CAN CREATE. HE ZEROS IN ON THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY.