Turn 5: This title was tetroactively added.Devour the corpse of bassass. Trap Cassandra in MST3K.
(5) YOU CONSUME THE CORPSE OF THE FALLEN PIRATE. YOU DIRTY ELF YOU. OTHER PEOPL DO NOT SHARE THIS VIEW-POINT, HWEVER, AND YOU ARE PRAISED. (5) SHE IS TRAPPED IN A TERRIIFYING CULT TELEVISION SHOW.
TURN TERRORISTS BACK INTO POTATO CHIPS
EAT AGAIN
SHOOT BLACK HOLE AT SUN
(5vs4) YOU CONSUME THE TERRORIST-FLAVORED OLD-SPICE CHIPS, TASTING A AWFUL LOT LIKE OLD SPICE AND THE FLESH OF SENTIENTS. (5) YOU LAZILY SHOOT A BLACKHOLE AT THE SUN, ALL THE WHILE ENJOYING YOUR SHIPS AND GETTING A GOOLD SEAT.
Hmm... New plan, since everyone seems to like bringing the terrorists back to life.
Upgrade ship to an Extortionator Class Warship, with a hard copy of my brain and soul controlling it, since random retcon apparently killed my physical body. Demonstrate firepower on the ships attacking me. Then blast the Governer's Family into fine ash, wherever they might be. Then fly to Titan.
(5) YOU ARE IN TV SHOW, SO YOU DECIDE TO BUILD AND DESIGN SELF FROM THAT OPERATING SYSTEM. YOU ESCAPE AND BUILD A EXTORTIONATOR (5vs0) NO ONE IS ATTACKING YOU, SO YOU LAUGH IN NO ONE'S FACE AND OBLITERATE NO ONE. (5vs6) SWEET BABY JESUS. YOUR ATTEMPTS TO ATTACK THE FAMILY ARE REBUFFED BY THEIR MASSIVE SECURITY DETAIL, AND THE SUN MAGNATE'S SUPER WEAPONS. WISELY, YOU RETREAT TO TITAN.
SEE THROUGH GM'S LIES.
INVENT SOL SLAYERS.
USE SOL SLAYER.
CRIMINALS DEAD.
(5) CRIMINALS ARE ALREADY DEAD, AND TERRORISTS ARE NOW CHIPS, SO YOU LAUNCH THE SOL SLAYER AT THE SUN TO SPITE XANTALOS BY KILLING IT FIRST.
Siege the Governor's son's house and kidnap the Governor's son. Shoot everyone onsite.
(5V1) YOU DO SO. THEY WERE MOSTLY NANNIES, AS HE IS 4. YOU ARE HAILED FOR YOUR NANNY-SHOOTING AND BABY-SNATCHERY NONETHELESS.
Blow something up. I really don't care.
((BTW, Misko, you misspelled 'Nein'. As 'Nien'.))
(5) A FIRDGE IS BLOWN UP QUITE SPECTACULARLY(5) THE GRAMMER FASCIST PRACTICAL JOKESTER DOESN'T CARE. HE OBTAINS DEPRESSION.
>OBSERVE HAPPENINGS ON EARTH VIA LONG-RANGE SCANNER THING
"OH NO THOSE GOVERNMENT TYPES ARE IN TROUBLE! QUICKLY!"
>SEND DONKEY PILOTING A SPACE SHUTTLE TO LAND NEAR GOVERNOR'S MANSION, EVACUATE HIS FAMILY AND BRING THEM TO SUN FOR NEW, SAFE LIFE
>NONE OF THAT 'POWER' OR 'GOVERNANCE' STUFF FOR THEM, THOUGH- THEY JUST REGULAR CITIZENS OF SUN
THEY ARE ON MARS. BECAUSE I SAID MARS. THERE IS AS MUCH A GOVERNOR OF EARTH AS THERE IS A RL GOVERNOR OF DC. (5) YOU EVACUATE ALL BUT HIS LONE SON. THEY AGREE TO DO AS YOU ASK, FOR NOW, TO ENSURE THEIR PROTECTION.
(5) YOU ARE IRRITATED AT THE VARIOUS NUKES AND BLACK-HOLES HEADED YOUR WAY, SO THE DEFENSE SYSTEM DESTABILIZES THE BLACK HOLE AND USES THE SAME MECHANIC'S TO RENDER THE SLAYER HARMLESS. iT PASSES THROUGH THE SUN, GOING RIGHT THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE BEFORE THE STASIS FIELD ENDS. IT EXPLODES HARMLESSLY SEVERAL SOLAR SYSTEMS AWAY. YOU ESTABLISH POLICE FORCE AND ATTEMPT EXTRADITION OF GWG, CASSANDRA, AND XANTALOS.
>OBSERVE HAPPENINGS ON EARTH VIA LONG-RANGE SCANNER THING
"OH NO THOSE GOVERNMENT TYPES ARE IN TROUBLE! QUICKLY!"
>SEND DONKEY PILOTING A SPACE SHUTTLE TO LAND NEAR GOVERNOR'S MANSION, EVACUATE HIS FAMILY AND BRING THEM TO SUN FOR NEW, SAFE LIFE
>NONE OF THAT 'POWER' OR 'GOVERNANCE' STUFF FOR THEM, THOUGH- THEY JUST REGULAR CITIZENS OF SUN
Threaten to begin terrorist actions on the sun should this occur.
(5) HE IS VERY THREATENED. HE STILL DOES IT THOUGH. BECAUSE HE HAS MASSIVE SUN DENFENSE GRID, AND WILL SHOOT DOWN YOUR PUNY SHOPS AS THEY GET CLOSE. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE PEOPLE PRAISE YOU.
BUILD COLONISTS EVERYTHING THEY NEED INCLUDING ORBITAL DEFENCES AND A FLEET.
EXPAND INTO MASS EFFECT UNIVERSE.
THEY HAVE THAT STUFF ALREADY, (5) BUT YOU GIVE THEM DIFFERENT STUFF. STUFF THAT WILL KEEP THESE IDIOTS OUT OF TROUBLE.
Make Titan the bastion of humanity via terraforming AKA the garden of Eden.
(5) HUMANITY STILL EXISTS, SO YOU START PLOTTING TO DESTROY THEM. IN THE MEANWHILE, YOU MAKE TITAN GARDEN WORLD. IT I VERY NICE.
MAKE EXPLODE-RESISTANT SHIP THAT CONDUCTS EXPLOSION. GO EXPLODIFY SOME OTHER SHIP.
(5) EXPLOSION RESISTANCY HAS REACHED 110%. (5) YOU EXPLODE ALL DEM SHIPS IN ORBIT AROUND MARS. ALL THE PRETTY LIGHTS. AS THEY PLUMMET TO MARS, BURNING IN THE THIN ATMOSPHERE, AND EXPLODING WITH GREAT GUSTO WHEN THEY LAND.
Blow something up. I really don't care.
((BTW, Misko, you misspelled 'Nein'. As 'Nien'.))
HIEL GRAMMER FASCIST.
It's Heil.
Jebam te pechku mater, jebeni fascisticke mater! Jebem ti nerodjeno dete!
Eh, vaffanculo anche!
*INSERT OBLIGATORY YO MOMMA JOKE*
>COMMENCE ORBITAL PLASMA BOMBARDMENT ON TERRORISTS
>GENETICALLY ENGINEER (EUROPEAN) DRAGONS WITH MAGI-TECH POWERS INTO EXISTENCE TO SERVE AS FOREVER LOYAL APOSTLES OF MAGI-TECH RELIGION
>USE POWERS OF REALITY POCKET DIMENSION TO CREATE THE DRAGON FAFNIR TO SERVE AS PROTECTOR OF MAGI-TECH WORSHIPERS AND JÖRMUNGANDR TO PROTECT MAGI-TECH RELIGION
(5) YOU REALIZE THEY ARE DEAD, AND LEAVE IT AT THAT. (5) THE GUARDIANS OF THE MAGI-TECH SHALL LIVE FOREVER. ALL HAIL THE GUARDIANS! (5) EVEN THOUGH THOSE SOUND PRETTY SIMILAR, YOU DO BOTH. YOU CREATE GODS. YOU AMAZING PERSON.
NPCs:THE COLONISTS HAVE FINALLY MADE IT (2) THEY DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. FORTUNATELY THE PLAYERS ARE HELPING THEM OUT, SO THEY'RE STILL ALIVE,
THE FAMILY (6vs5) STAGE A VIOLENT AND BLOODY ATTACK ON CORAI'S HEADQUARTERS. AFTER MUCH FIGHTING, THE MAFIOSA PROVE THE VICTORS, RETRIEVING THE BABY.