Turn 4: When NPC's Attack!TURN TERRORISTS INTO POTATO CHIPS
EAT POTATO CHIPS
TURN THE SUN INSIDE OUT, SO IT'S A GIANT SPHERE WITH A HOLLOW SPACE INSIDE IT
LAUGH AS EVERYTHING NEAR THE SUN GETS DESTROYED
(5v2) YOU TURN THEM INTO OLD-SPICE FLAVORED POTATO CHIPS. YOU EAT AND ENJOY THE TASTE HIGHLY. (5) THE SUN IS INSIDE OUT, FURTHER EXCACERBATING THE LACK OF PHYSICS AND LOGIC. (5) YOU WIN MASSIVE TROLL AWARD. THE COMMITEE WASN'T GOING TO EVEN GIVE IT TO YOU AT THE AWARD CEREMONY. ONE-UPPING THEM, YOU DON'T EVEN SHOW UP.
Return to Titan and expand its infrastructure.
(5) THE TRIP BACK IN INSTANTANEOUS. WITH ALL THE TIME YOU SAVED YOU RAPIDLY INCREASE INFRASTRUCTURE AND ACCOMADATIONS. IT COULD FIT 25% MORE PEOPLE NOW.
Yay, new minions. Ahem!
Send minions to kidnap Governer's family, and bring them back. Have them shoved into a special cannon. Fire them out of that cannon. Then shoot them with the ship guns. Mafia? Peh.
(5v6) THEY WERE EXPECTING YOU. THEY SENT BACK A MESSAGE, IT READS "Your little friend, sleeps with the fishes.". BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT A 6.
Yay, new minions. Ahem!
Send minions to kidnap Governer's family, and bring them back. Have them shoved into a special cannon. Fire them out of that cannon. Then shoot them with the ship guns. Mafia? Peh.
Send ABCS to impede action! WE must kidnap the Governer's family! We are eviller than thou!
(5) YOU MANAGE TO INTERRUPT A ACTION THAT ALREADY ENDED AND FAILED. YOU ARE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF.
WAIT
HOW CAN SUN BE IN DANGER? SUN PROTECTED BY NUCLEAR MISSILE DEFENCE THINGY
IS WHERE I LIVE WITH QUEEN, TEDDY BEAR AND PET DONKEY, IN MANSION SURROUNDED BY REFUGEE HOUSING PROJECTS
PEOPLE RUNNING FROM WAR LIVE THERE BE PEACEFUL AND STUFF
>ACTIVATE MISSILE DEFENCE PROGRAM DUE TO SUN NEARLY BEING DESTROYED
>NUKE ANYONE WHO COMES NEAR WITHOUT INVITE/RED CROSS SYMBOL ON THEIR SHIP
"I AM SORRY MY QUEEN, BUT I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO BE IN DANGER! MR TINKLES SAYS BAD PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL US ALL AND DESTROY ALL THAT WE HAVE DONE HERE!"
(5) MISSLE DEFENSE SYSTEM ONLINE. (5) YOU DECIDE TO AIM YOUR NUKES AT THE SUN, AND REVERT IT TO NORMAL.
FORCE TERRORISTS TO PLAY CARDS. BEAT TERRORISTS AT CARDS HANDILY. LAUGH THER STUPID FACES OFF. INVERT PELVIS.
(5V1) YEP. YOU CARD-SHARK THEM, REMEMBERING TO REVIVE THEM TO LIFE FOR THE SECOND TIME NOW. YOU TAKE ALL THEM MONEYS. (5) THEN THEIR FACES FALL OFF, AND THEIR PELVIS INVERTS. THEY ARE NOW BIZZARE FREAKS OF NATURE.
LOCATE AND EXTERMINATE ALL CRIMINALS.
WITH SCIENCE!!
(5V5,5) ALL TEH CRIMINALS ARE EXTERMINATED, EXCEPT FOR THE NPCS, WHO ARE BOTH HYPER CORRUPT AND UNRECOGNIZABLE, RESPECTIVELY. I TOTALLY DID NOT BIAS THIS IN ANYWAY. THE NPCS ARE JUST REALLY GOOD THIS TURN.
Respawn as leader of multi universal alliance inludes most mech franchise, babylon 5 and many other universes.
Assist colonists.
(5) YOU ARE ALL THE MECH FRANCHISES AT ONCE, CAPABLE OF NIGH ANYTHING. (5) YOU DECIDE IN YOUR INFINITE WISDOM TO AID THE HUMAN COLONISTS. THEY ARE VERY MUCH AIDED, AND WILL NOW GET THERE NEXT TURN WITH LOTS OF HELPFUL STUFF.
EXPLODIFY TERRORISTS.
(5) THEY ARE VERY EXPLODED. ONE OR TWO OF THEM ARE CLINGING TO LIFE, SAVED BY THEIR INVERTED PELVIS. YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF NONETHELESS.
It disturbs me how many of you would rather be Islamo-fascist scum then compliment me. 
(1000) I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
I didn't vote.
That fact depresses me more then if you had.
I didn't even realize there was a poll.
(5) NOW THERE IS NEW POLL. IT IS ABOUT NOT HAVING POLL.
>CONVERT EARTH POPULATION TO MAGI-TECH RELIGION
>WAGE WAR ON TERRORISTS WITH ORBITAL PLASMA BOMBARDMENT
(5) THAT OCCURS. YOU ARE NOW REVERED THROUGHOUT REPUBLIC. (5v1000) UNFORTUNATELY, THE GM DOES NOT WANT TO RETCON TOO MUCH, AND SO HE INTERVENES. INSTEAD, YOU GET EXTRA TURN NEXT TURN.
KILL CASSANDRA. WITH PRACTICAL JOKES. FROM AFAR.
(5) SHE IS QUITE CONFUSED, AND DISTURBED BY HER RETCONNED DEATH. TO MAKE MY STUFF FIT YOU DO IT BY RE-RAISING THE TERRORISTS. THEY ARE VERY INJURED DURING THE BATTLE, BUT EVENTUALLY SUCEED.
NPC'STHE GOVERNOR'S FAMILY, (5) SLIGHTLY SHOCKED BY THE UTTERLY AMAZING STRING OF GOOD ROLLS,REPLACE THE GOVERNOR WITH HIS SON, A POWERFUL AND HIGHLY POPULAR MAN WHOM IT WOULD VERY BAD TO KILL. HE RE-ESTABLISHES CONTROL OF NEW-MARS, AND SENDS SPACESHIPS OFF TO HUNT DOWN CASSANDRA.
THE DEPRESSED !!FREAK OF NATURE TERRORISTS!! (5) SWEET BABY JESUS. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? THE STATISTCAL ODDS OF THAT ARE RIDICULOUS. FUCK IT, I'M ROLLING AGAIN. (3) THAT IS BETTER. THE REMAINING TERRORISTS CHECK THEMSELVES INTO A HOSPITAL. THERE THEY ATTEMPT TO PLOT THEIR NEXT MOVE, BUT ARE TOO MUCH IN PAIN BY THEIR INVERTED PELVISES.
THE COLONISTS ARE THANKFUL FOR TAVIK TOTH'S HELP. (2) UNFORTUNATELY, THEY FAIL TO DO ANYTHING OF VALUE THIS TURN, MANAGING TO BE THE MOST USELES PEOPLE HERE.
COMMENTARY: DEM ROLLS. WHAT I SAY? NPC'S ARE SUPER NINJAS. OR HAVE A FAVOR FROM THE RNG GOD OR SOMETHING. SHOULD I GO WITH THE TERRORISTS FIRST ROLL OR THE SECOND?
Poll
10 (30.3%)
Author
Topic: THE RETURN OF YOU ALWAYS ROLL FIVE: LONG NAMES. Y'ALL COMPENSATIN FOR SOMETHING? (Read 69965 times)