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[Leatra]

Yes. And masculine personality wants to slap their partner around and make sure their partner does their bidding until they die.

Kidding. Nobody is %100 feminine or %100 masculine you know. When I'm talking about feminine personality, I'm talking about %100 pure femininity. When I'm talking about feminine people, I'm talking about who have more femininity than masculity. So, yes feminine personality is much more passive.

[darkrider2]

Honestly, seen good guys get the ladies too, I think its not the "nice guy" or "bad boy" thing, just whether actual moves are made, cause otherwise you're getting no-where.

Actually I've been getting better at picking up on hints, just due to huge lack of experience I don't really know how to respond, but I'm getting there.

Leatra made a point a while ago about what you'd rather do, go shopping or on a motorbike ride.

What I really took out of that was NOT "only bad boys have fun, nice guys are wet noodles", but, "just do interesting things and don't be boring, jerk or otherwise". Which I think is a better message overall, and can actually apply to most people without saying, oh you're a good guy, better change your entire personality if you want women to like you.

But seriously, make those moves, and be interesting my friend.

[Korbac]

So what we're saying is "be exciting" and "nice = high correlation to boring"?

[misko27]

Actually, if you look hard enough, everyone has been saying the answer to the OP every other page. It justs turns out it's a very boring answer, and that derails away. Someone misguidedly seeing this and deciding to save it begins a familiar train of thought, and we return to the answer.

So what we're saying is "be exciting" and "nice = high correlation to boring"?

And here we go.

[kaijyuu]

I know speaking for oneself on this sort of thing isn't the best but... I'm nice and I have several people on my tail. The difference between me and your stereotypical "nice guy" though is I'm open about my interest in people; your average "nice guy" doesn't communicate that and just expects it.

I've approached people and I've been approached. One side has to do it before anything can actually happen, and it might as well be the one with the initial interest.

[Korbac]

Actually, if you look hard enough, everyone has been saying the answer to the OP every other page. It justs turns out it's a very boring answer, and that derails away. Someone misguidedly seeing this and deciding to save it begins a familiar train of thought, and we return to the answer.

So what we're saying is "be exciting" and "nice = high correlation to boring"?

And here we go.

I think you're confusing "the" answer with "an" answer, although at this stage I think it's presumptuous to think that there is going to be "the" answer. 

Kai : Yeah, indicating to people that you're interested in them and vice versa is definitely a way to increase your chances. Obvious when you think about it!

[EnigmaticHat]

I think part of the nice guy thing is that some guys start friendships with women with the intent of eventually trying to have sex with them, and possibly only for that reason.  So they end up with situation where they're complaining about being "friendzoned" when all they were communicating in the first place is "I want to be just friends".  They might be nice in the sense that they were polite or friendly, but they were manipulative or just plain incompetent because they were misrepresenting their intentions.

[misko27]

I think part of the nice guy thing is that some guys start friendships with women with the intent of eventually trying to have sex with them, and possibly only for that reason.  So they end up with situation where they're complaining about being "friendzoned" when all they were communicating in the first place is "I want to be just friends".  They might be nice in the sense that they were polite or friendly, but they were manipulative or just plain incompetent because they were misrepresenting their intentions.

Yes. Here we go.
 
So, to sum up. It is not that "Jerks" get females, it's just that they tend to be more aggresive in asking them out and such, while "nice" guys who do not communicate this are either being oblivious (or shy) or manipulative.
 
Anything I miss?

[kaijyuu]

Sounds fine to me, except that I'd point out your stereotypical "nice guy" is being manipulative. They're being nice in order to get something in return.

There's nothing wrong with being nice, or shy, or anything like that. Dishonesty is the problem.

Of course, those who are more assertive in what they want will likely get more people, simply because they have more opportunity to. That's not really a "bad" mark on those who aren't assertive, just an unfortunate truth.

[ChairmanPoo]

. Of course they're being nice while trying to get something. It's something normal and polite, and has no warrant on the honesty of their intentions. Plus it makes more sense than being *rude* trying to get something, don't you think?

[kaijyuu]

Manipulation like that is absolutely dishonest. It's one thing to say "hey, I'll do something nice for you and you do something for me later" and entirely different thing to go "hey, I did something nice for you before, and now you OWE me, even though I never mentioned anything like that before!" Not just for relationships either; pretty much any situation where you're doing someone a favor, expecting something in return, and not voicing that expectation until much later.

And I suppose "rude" manipulation is technically worse, but both are bad.

[ChairmanPoo]

It's not any more manipulative than any other social interaction. I think you're reading too much into it.

[SalmonGod]

I think sex drive is like an addiction that you're born with.  Like all addictions, it grows stronger when you feed it.  If you manage to ignore it for a while, it begins to wither away.  If you ever rid yourself of it completely, you're probably a buddha.  Siddhartha himself supposedly stated that if the human sex drive was any stronger, he probably would never have achieved enlightenment.

From a neurochemical perspective, this is not how sex drive works. Like hunger and thirst, it will pester you whether you fulfill it or not.

My last two sentences were acknowledging this.  All I was saying is that the amount it pesters you can vary.  It's not exactly like hunger and thirst, because you won't die if you don't get it.  The drive to eat and drink will grow stronger the more you ignore it.  The drive for sex will, in my experience, get weaker the more you ignore it, though not likely ever disappearing completely.

[darkrider2]

Pfft! There's no point to being nice to someone unless you want something from them. Geez that's just common sense you guys!

[ChairmanPoo]

I think there's a bit of "counter-trendiness" at play here. Since a certain number of people blamed "whores" who prefer "bad guys" (as opposed to them, "nice guys") of their lack of luck in romantic affairs, it "obviously" follows that anyone who favors a friendly approach to a woman must be dishonest, when the real conclusion should be that the people who said those things in the first place are immature and egocentric. The key factor here is the mysoginistic rant. You can't seriously blame someone for not wanting to be with you anymore than Betty the Hideous can blame you for not wanting to date her.