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[SalmonGod]

I'm still a virgin... and there really is no prospect of me having sex any time soon. Do I worry about this at all? Not really.

I used to... In my late teens I freaked out about sex for a while on account of wanting to try it but being unable to, but after some time I sort of mellowed out and realised that actually I didn't really give a damn if I died a virgin anyway. I basically treat it like sky diving, it's something I've never done, that I guess I sort of might like to try, and if at some point in the future someone I actually like invites me to do, I might just take them up on it, until then I'm really not going to worry out because "OMG I'm 21 and I've never gone sky diving!" I can seriously live without it.

I used to be like this, until I actually did it.  Then a lot of things changed.  I found it became... not more important to me, but the drive was much stronger.  It pushed to the surface of my thoughts much more often.  It realigned my values a lot, too.  I was much more prudish before.

I think sex drive is like an addiction that you're born with.  Like all addictions, it grows stronger when you feed it.  If you manage to ignore it for a while, it begins to wither away.  If you ever rid yourself of it completely, you're probably a buddha.  Siddhartha himself supposedly stated that if the human sex drive was any stronger, he probably would never have achieved enlightenment.

[Taniec]

I was once included in an interesting conversation about a certain group of women’s inability to find a “nice guy”. The 6 women were all very concerned with the state of contemporary men and the dearth of guys available to them now that felt they’d matured and needed to be appreciated for their readiness to settle down and start a family (see, post-wall, 35+ demographic).

“What is it with men these days? It’s like they’re all self-absorbed jerks now.”

“I know, but I think it’s just another indicator of how messed up society is now.”

“Yeah, why can’t I find a Nice guy? Is that too much to ask for?”

“Rollo, what happened to men? Where are all the Nice guys?”

 

“Back in your 20′s where you left them.”

 

The Nice Guy Space-Time Continuum

Girl age 16: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: ” I don’t want to hurt your feelings, or come off as a bitch to my friends, but I’m really much more attracted to Bad Boys – outlaw bikers, the football team’s quarterback, basically any guy who appears dangerous and exciting. You’re Nice, nice and mundane”

Girl age 22: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “Thanks for listening on the phone to me cry, fall into verbal hysterics and drone on for hours about my Jerk BF (oh, and my little dog too). You’re really sweet, and deserve a girl  (which isn’t me) who can appreciate how nice (i.e. mundane) you are.”

Girl age 28: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “I know you’ve always been (an) my emotional tampon, and thanks for sticking with it – any sane guy would’ve found a far better prospect by now. And while I’m beginning to see that guys like you are stable, dependable and tend to make a lot more money than the Jerks I’ve dated, I think I’m gonna hold out for a hotter guy than you while my looks still hold up”

Woman age 32: “Why can’t I just find a nice guy?”

Woman age 35+: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “Oh, you’re a Nice Guy,..here, let me suck that for you. See? Being a Nice Guy does get you laid!,..thanks for being there for me when I needed you; my fatherless kids appreciate your generosity too. How chivalrous of you to forgive my past indiscretion and take us in, I wish there were more guys like you. I really pity the women who can’t appreciate your kind of dedication – you are so different from “other guys”".

[wagawaga]

Wall of Text

Heh, that made me chuckle.

[King DZA]

I think sex drive is like an addiction that you're born with.  Like all addictions, it grows stronger when you feed it.  If you manage to ignore it for a while, it begins to wither away.  If you ever rid yourself of it completely, you're probably a buddha.  Siddhartha himself supposedly stated that if the human sex drive was any stronger, he probably would never have achieved enlightenment.

Ignoring your sex drive is easy; simply bombard your mind with thoughts about all of the repulsive, deranged, ungodly things that have taken place on Earth over the course of humanity's existence alone in as vivid a detail as you can muster whenever you start thinking about fucking. Instant mood killer (for most people). Better yet, I can't think of any possibly unfavorable side-effects that may arise from developing such a habit.

[SalmonGod]

I think sex drive is like an addiction that you're born with.  Like all addictions, it grows stronger when you feed it.  If you manage to ignore it for a while, it begins to wither away.  If you ever rid yourself of it completely, you're probably a buddha.  Siddhartha himself supposedly stated that if the human sex drive was any stronger, he probably would never have achieved enlightenment.

Ignoring your sex drive is easy; simply bombard your mind with thoughts about all of the repulsive, deranged, ungodly things that have taken place on Earth over the course of humanity's existence alone in as vivid a detail as you can muster whenever you start thinking about fucking. Instant mood killer (for most people). Better yet, I can't think of any possibly unfavorable side-effects that may arise from developing such a habit.

But that's what I do when I'm not thinking about fucking.

[Robocorn]

I think sex drive is like an addiction that you're born with.  Like all addictions, it grows stronger when you feed it.  If you manage to ignore it for a while, it begins to wither away.  If you ever rid yourself of it completely, you're probably a buddha.  Siddhartha himself supposedly stated that if the human sex drive was any stronger, he probably would never have achieved enlightenment.

Ignoring your sex drive is easy; simply bombard your mind with thoughts about all of the repulsive, deranged, ungodly things that have taken place on Earth over the course of humanity's existence alone in as vivid a detail as you can muster whenever you start thinking about fucking. Instant mood killer (for most people). Better yet, I can't think of any possibly unfavorable side-effects that may arise from developing such a habit.

"Why don't women like nice guys?"

"They don't get Pavlovian erections at the thought of Darfur"


NOTE: Pavlovian erections, Bandname?

[scriver]

I was once included in an interesting conversation about a certain group of women’s inability to find a “nice guy”. The 6 women were all very concerned with the state of contemporary men and the dearth of guys available to them now that felt they’d matured and needed to be appreciated for their readiness to settle down and start a family (see, post-wall, 35+ demographic).

“What is it with men these days? It’s like they’re all self-absorbed jerks now.”

“I know, but I think it’s just another indicator of how messed up society is now.”

“Yeah, why can’t I find a Nice guy? Is that too much to ask for?”

“Rollo, what happened to men? Where are all the Nice guys?”

 

“Back in your 20′s where you left them.”

 

The Nice Guy Space-Time Continuum

Girl age 16: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: ” I don’t want to hurt your feelings, or come off as a bitch to my friends, but I’m really much more attracted to Bad Boys – outlaw bikers, the football team’s quarterback, basically any guy who appears dangerous and exciting. You’re Nice, nice and mundane”

Girl age 22: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “Thanks for listening on the phone to me cry, fall into verbal hysterics and drone on for hours about my Jerk BF (oh, and my little dog too). You’re really sweet, and deserve a girl  (which isn’t me) who can appreciate how nice (i.e. mundane) you are.”

Girl age 28: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “I know you’ve always been (an) my emotional tampon, and thanks for sticking with it – any sane guy would’ve found a far better prospect by now. And while I’m beginning to see that guys like you are stable, dependable and tend to make a lot more money than the Jerks I’ve dated, I think I’m gonna hold out for a hotter guy than you while my looks still hold up”

Woman age 32: “Why can’t I just find a nice guy?”

Woman age 35+: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “Oh, you’re a Nice Guy,..here, let me suck that for you. See? Being a Nice Guy does get you laid!,..thanks for being there for me when I needed you; my fatherless kids appreciate your generosity too. How chivalrous of you to forgive my past indiscretion and take us in, I wish there were more guys like you. I really pity the women who can’t appreciate your kind of dedication – you are so different from “other guys”".

Well, this thread had a good run. At least it took 13 pages before somebody actually used the "because women are whores" card.

[Leafsnail]

So we've gotten our MRA "GODDAMN BITCHES" perspective.  All that's missing now is a PUA strategy (I guess LordBucket came close though).

[Hiiri]

So we've gotten our MRA "GODDAMN BITCHES" perspective.  All that's missing now is a PUA strategy (I guess LordBucket came close though).

Don't forget about feminists. After all, women are the TRUE victims here

[Leatra]

Heh. This thread is really an enlightening one. Not just about women and men but about what people think about this issue. Especially LordBucket's idea made me think but it seemed flawed. I'm masculine but I'm looking for a masculine girl so something must be wrong with me according to LordBucket's theory.

I think most guys tend to look for masculine girls but they reject this because they don't know what masculine means. I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do with a dumb girl who wants constant attention and can't stand up for herself? My last girlfriend was like that and boy, it was a difficult relationship. I told her I wanted to be alone for some time because we were constantly talking and texting. I mean, seriously, we didn't have much to talk about and the texts we sent to each other was mostly about what we were doing. Texts were like "Okay darling I'm going to drop a deuce. Love you." That relationship was a big life lesson for me. Relationships get boring if you can talk to your girlfriend whatever time you want.

There ought to be girls looking for nice fellas but what kind of a girl would want nice guys? Probably like my ex-girlfriend. How and why a girl would like a nice person I don't know though.

[ChairmanPoo]

Here's a mostly not mysoginist theoryt: nice guys are too passive. Its not that women like bad boys better,  but that,  by nature or nurture, the guys are the ones taking the initiative with girls (with the latter maneuvering to try to let the guys know they'd like being askes out). Therefore "bad boys" tend to make a move early, possibly with high failure rates but move on. Nice guys instead circle their interests more or less obliquely, which at best results in a very delayed resolution, and,  at worst, the girl never noticing and ending up with someone faster.

[Vector]

That's the problem with the masculine = giving, feminine = receiving tropes combined with evopsych.  By their powers combined you end up with "all women are whores."

I think most guys tend to look for masculine girls but they reject this because they don't know what masculine means. I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do with a dumb girl who wants constant attention and can't stand up for herself?

I'd also suspect that you don't really know what feminine means.  Plenty of feminine people are made of fucking iron, because what feminine classically means is setting aside your own desires to serve those of others in a very particular, dawn-to-dusk sort of a way.  The creation of a space in which all of the difficult parts of the world don't exist, which is instead filled with a charming, nurturing, elegant atmosphere, a cultivated naivete in which others can feel safe relaxing and showing their true colors.  If you're doing a good job of it, then no one knows that you're suffering at all--but it's very difficult to learn to do that, and it usually doesn't feel fair.

There aren't all that many men who are archetypes of masculinity out there, either, to be frank.  Most of y'all can be pretty annoying.

There ought to be girls looking for nice fellas but what kind of a girl would want nice guys? Probably like my ex-girlfriend. How and why a girl would like a nice person I don't know though.

Well, for example, people who have previously been in abusive relationships have a strong reason to prefer niceness over anything else.  There's also women who are more low-key and simply don't want to deal with aggression in general (because it's boring, or because it's irritating).  There's women who are really dedicated to a refined atmosphere, and politeness!  I know a number of couples like this, which are very well-matched despite being composed of two very Yin-y people.  Basically, what I'm saying is that there's a lot of different possibilities.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I think sex drive is like an addiction that you're born with.  Like all addictions, it grows stronger when you feed it.  If you manage to ignore it for a while, it begins to wither away.  If you ever rid yourself of it completely, you're probably a buddha.  Siddhartha himself supposedly stated that if the human sex drive was any stronger, he probably would never have achieved enlightenment.

From a neurochemical perspective, this is not how sex drive works. Like hunger and thirst, it will pester you whether you fulfill it or not.

[Leatra]

@Vector. You are talking about roles in relationship when talking about feminine and masculine. I'm talking about as a personality. There are masculine & masculine and feminine & feminine couples too. In feminine & feminine relationships one side still will come on top of course.

I agree, people who have been in abusive relationships tend to look for nicer guys in general. Since it's usually the men being jerks, that's not really rare.

[Vector]

Seriously, I am really trying not to jump on anyone here, but I'm having trouble reading that as anything but "the feminine personality is to want endless amounts of attention and not stand up for oneself."  Is that what you're saying?