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Author Topic: "Why don't women like nice guys?"  (Read 43610 times)

Solifuge

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #240 on: November 14, 2012, 08:55:42 pm »

Yes, there's an observable, factual tendency for men to lean towards yang and women to lean towards yin
Quote
Guys...if you're acting like a girl and don't have a girlfriend and if you're angry all the time because the girl you want is sleeping with guys who "don't love her like you do" but who do the very simple thing of acting on their desires...then stop acting like a girl. Girls don't want girls any more than you want to have a boyfriend. If you want a girlfriend, then be her boyfriend. Don't try to be her girlfriend and don't delude yourself into thinking it's somehow more "respectful" to hang around on the outskirts and act like her servant and emotional punching bag. It's ok for you to have what you want, and she might be very happy to give it you. Make it happen.

Sadly for this argument, the fact is that many girls want girls. Many guys want guys. I am a guy who likes masculine girls. I know effeminate girls who like masculine guys. I know effeminate guys who are interested in masculine guys and effeminate girls both. And this is also present in historical, cross-cultural, and widespread contexts, too much so to say that they are all just anomalous.

As for nature and the world as a whole, there are whole species wherein Females actively hunt, forage, and protect their territory on behalf of a passive, reactive Male. And there are now and have been Matriachal societies wherein Women lead military campaigns and create laws and governments to impose on others, and this is considered the norm.

I have to disagree with your assertion that Yin and Yang are fundamental natural forces, and would instead argue that they were terms that arose within Daoist philosophy in ancient China, and these ancient Chinese Daoists, who were very proud and sure of their way of life, decided that what fit Male and Female ideals within their culture were the norm for all Humans on the planet. They were probably quite useful within that societal context in creating a Norm for relationships, and have a lot of poetic value, and probably can help folks who buy into them find harmonious relations... but to impose that as a universal law on the rest of the world is arrogant, and dogmatic, and ignorant. They are not aspects of Male and Female nature, but rather are a form of training present within only some cultures (such as Chinese Daoists, with applications to some modern Chinese, European, and American cultures).
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scriver

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #241 on: November 14, 2012, 09:03:15 pm »

I may be full of myself, but I'm pretty certain this whole tangent could as well have ended with me pointing out that only men were humans in Bucket's examples, because that's right where we're still at.
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Love, scriver~

Vector

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #242 on: November 14, 2012, 09:03:57 pm »

Or, rather, if you prefer: I am a pretty manly woman who wants a manly man.  Yang seeks yang?  But por que~~~?
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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EnigmaticHat

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #243 on: November 14, 2012, 09:05:35 pm »

Guys...if you're acting like a girl and don't have a girlfriend and if you're angry all the time because the girl you want is sleeping with guys who "don't love her like you do" but who do the very simple thing of acting on their desires...then stop acting like a girl. Girls don't want girls any more than you want to have a boyfriend. If you want a girlfriend, then be her boyfriend. Don't try to be her girlfriend and don't delude yourself into thinking it's somehow more "respectful" to hang around on the outskirts and act like her servant and emotional punching bag. It's ok for you to have what you want, and she might be very happy to give it you. Make it happen.

So, to take your argument to its logical conclusion:

guy acts like girl = guy is emotional punching bag
conclusion: to act like a girl is to be an emotional punching bag

other guys acts don't act like girls = other guys act on their desires
conclusion: to act like a girl is to not act on your desires

to try to be someone's girlfriend = to act like her servant
conclusion: to act like a girlfriend is to act like a servant

So, according to you, the role of the girl in a relationship is to be an emotional punching bag who doesn't act on her desires, and to act as servant to her boyfriend.
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LordBucket

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #244 on: November 14, 2012, 09:18:17 pm »

I have to disagree

That's fine. And at this point I think I'm content to leave the discussion on that note. I've been typing for about five out of the past six hours, but I don't really feel like any progress has been made on what seems like it should be a much more simple discussion than it's become. I'm not getting anything out of this, none of you are getting anything out of this, and we all seem to be expending a lot of time and energy not getting anything out of this.

Why continue?

Ogdibus

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #245 on: November 14, 2012, 09:23:25 pm »

because you cannot resist?
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GlyphGryph

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #246 on: November 14, 2012, 09:24:57 pm »

And because you haven't confirmed whether or not I even understand what we are talking about. :(
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scriver

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #247 on: November 14, 2012, 09:29:17 pm »

 ::)

In LorrBucket'x world, the only way we could be "making progress" or "getting something out of the discussion" is if we unquestioningly and wholeheartedly adopted his obviously superior "teachings". I mean, he draped them in poorly thought out eastern mysticism. How could we not understand how right he is?
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Love, scriver~

Solifuge

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #248 on: November 14, 2012, 09:31:55 pm »

Please let's not take this discussion as a reason to snipe at people.

Bucket, I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to share your beliefs here. I'm sorry that you aren't getting anything out of this, but I hope you took time during this interaction to consider your stance and reasoning in light of the feelings and evidence of others, as I have considered mine. I'm glad this discussion happened, and found it valuable and interesting.

So, now that we all possess absolute knowledge of the art of romance, can we please get back to explaining how one can improve their chances of getting laid? I'm curious, and purely for academic reasons of course.
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Tellemurius

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #249 on: November 14, 2012, 09:34:27 pm »


So, now that we all possess absolute knowledge of the art of romance, can we please get back to explaining how one can improve their chances of getting laid? I'm curious, and purely for academic reasons of course.
The only way we can see that happening is if you know the person's range of emotions, watch her every move and expression. also dont be creepy.

LordBucket

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #250 on: November 14, 2012, 09:34:35 pm »

And because you haven't confirmed whether or not I even understand what we are talking about. :(

Some yes, some no, some apparent mixing up of the microcosm with the macrocosm, and a couple things you said that I'm not sure what you mean.

If you want more, I'll consider checking the thread tomorrow, but six hours of having basically everyone in a a thread disagreeing with me and at least two people deliberately trolling just isn't conducive to me wanting to invest more energy into this.

Duke 2.0

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #251 on: November 14, 2012, 09:37:46 pm »

Please let's not take this discussion as a reason to snipe at people.

 This is sorta why I'm not really comfortable with sharing my views. Not understanding a persons position seems to default to the worst thing one can assume about said position. I'm not really trained in debate, so getting hotly engaged with people who seem well versed in such would be unwise if they are itching more for a debate than an understanding.

 This does make me anticipate the eventual "What is love?" thread though.
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Tellemurius

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #252 on: November 14, 2012, 09:38:06 pm »

so far your argument is valid Bucket and i would like to see more.

Rose

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #253 on: November 14, 2012, 09:47:02 pm »

can we please get back to explaining how one can improve their chances of getting laid? I'm curious, and purely for academic reasons of course.

Yes, I also have a purely academic interest in this.
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darkrider2

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Re: "Why don't women like nice guys?"
« Reply #254 on: November 14, 2012, 09:49:20 pm »

can we please get back to explaining how one can improve their chances of getting laid? I'm curious, and purely for academic reasons of course.

Yes, I also have a purely academic interest in this.
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