Excuse the double post, but I have an update. Unfortunately, the story up to this point is fairly bland, and so I'm trying to get through it.
CHAPTER THE SECOND: RESCUE
So, after beating the schnapps out of the bandits in CHAPTER THE SECOND, Ike's sister and Boyd/Oscar's brother get kidnapped. Alas. Titania, the paladin and deputy commander, tells everyone to stay put. I'm perfectly fine with this situation and really don't give a shit, but for the sake of plot Ike heads after them, and the others follow for whatever reasons.
I forgot to take a screenie, but upon reaching the location, suddenly bandits. Naturally. So the four (Ike, Oscar, Boyd, and the new guy, a staff-user named Rhys) start to fight, plus Titania shows up again. Everyone (except Titania and Rhys) levels up, and the chapter is over. At the end, another bandit shows up. Rather than being an idiot like his friends, he does the pragmatic thing and makes everyone drop their weapons or else he'll kill the kids. Arrow Ex Machina from another member of the mercenary group, a sniper goes by the name of Shinon. Following him is Gatrie, a kuhniggit. Or knight, if you prefer.
CHAPTER THE THIRD: PIRATES AGROUND
Greil takes the part of the group I actually have been using on some secret mission and sends Ike with Titania, King Asshole Shinon, and Gatrie to relieve a village under attack by pirates. Well, not so much under attack as conquered by. They do so, Titania picks up an Elixer, and Ike talks to some pegasus knight who then flies off. Three chapters in and still no pegasus knight allies? Wow, that's gotta be a record. Anyways, little of interest happens in the chapter proper.
Afterwards, however, Soren, another of the mercenaries, returns to the fort from the capital of the country. Crimea (country the good guys live in) has been attacked by Daein, another country. To be frank, I'm sort of surprised it didn't happen before the game started. Anyways, Ike is sent to scout the situation with Titania (also as an advisor), Shinon (NOT HAPPY with it), Soren, Rhys, and Gatrie (Why would you send heavy armor on a scouting mission? WHYYYYYY?)
Hopefully things will be more interesting past CHAPTER THE FOURTH: ROADSIDE BATTLE. Or I figure out how to be funnier.