Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Mictlantecuhtli]

I give up on women.
Sincerely,
Mictlantecuhtli

Seriously. I'm tired of being used and abused and thrown away. My last four 'relationships' [I always try to make things official before other shenanigans and yet.. no woman does. You'd think it'd be the opposite] have ended like this: the other person gets a boyfriend out of nowhere while still in relations with me.

I'm so tired of it. I'm pissed off I even put my heart into things like that anymore. Sigh. Too upset to even rant and rave about it. I'm mostly sad.

This topic is for me to come back and look at before I decide to do anything with a woman again.

[Robocorn]

So you're into dudes now? or are you just taking a break from the dating scene?

[Mictlantecuhtli]

So you're into dudes now? or are you just taking a break from the dating scene?

I think Asexuality might be the only option anymore.

[ChairmanPoo]

Become a Nudist Monk.

[Robocorn]

So you're into dudes now? or are you just taking a break from the dating scene?

I think Asexuality might be the only option anymore.

Not sure if you can change your sexuality, dude. Never tried it myself though.
You could be celibate. Celibacy's wicked easy.
I guess the term's technically continence unless you've made a holy vow.

[Muz]

Here's what I did:
I gave up on women.
I wrote some AI to simulate women.
I had to base the AI on real girls.
I had extended conversations with a girl to dump the chat logs into my bot.
First girlfriend was that girl I had extended conversations with, because it was easier than making a chat bot.

In worst case, if you do the same, you'd still have a chat bot that won't cheat on you. Or you can just stick to online/phone relationships or something... that way you can't really have your shenanigans before you make things official.

[LordBucket]

I'm tired of being used and abused and thrown away. My last four 'relationships' [I always try to make things official before other shenanigans and yet
.. no woman does. You'd think it'd be the opposite] have ended like this: the other person gets a boyfriend out of nowhere while still in relations with me.

It takes two to tango, Mictlantecuhtli. If you're consistently having the same problem...and other people around you are not...there might be a reason for that. You are the most consistent factor in all of your relationships.

[Ogdibus]

I'm tired of being used and abused and thrown away. My last four 'relationships' [I always try to make things official before other shenanigans and yet
.. no woman does. You'd think it'd be the opposite] have ended like this: the other person gets a boyfriend out of nowhere while still in relations with me.

It takes two to tango, Mictlantecuhtli. If you're consistently having the same problem...and other people around you are not...there might be a reason for that. You are the most consistent factor in all of your relationships.

I used to buy into this, blaming myself for my social problems, until I eventually started meeting people that I didn't have trouble with. I then realized that I was surrounded by jerks for half of my life.  It can be really hard to pin down which is the case without a very broad perspective.

[kaijyuu]

Indeed. Search for both inner AND outer problems. You almost certainly have both.

[Tsuchigumo550]

Yeah. Trust me, I've been surrounded by jerkasses for half my life, then in high school most of the people who had names I could remember like, matured or something.

[Leatra]

Have you guys ever wondered, "Why do all these over-confident jerks and so-called cool people around us are having the best sexual life?"

For some girls, being very kind and doing everything they want seems to be a turn-off. I know a girl who confessed to this. It seems to be more common in high school. Not all girls want bad boys, of course.

[LordBucket]

For some girls, being very kind and doing everything they want seems to be a turn-off.

"Doing nice things" for a girl and "doing what they want" is not an effective way to get girls to like you. That's bribery. If you want to buy women, at lest be honest abut it and offer money rather than pretending to be their friend and smothering them with gifts and compliments and favors until you guilt-trip them into reciprocating.

Not all girls want bad boys

It's not liking "bad" boys at all. It's liking *boys*. Too many guys try to get girls to like them by acting like their girlfriends.

This is all a gross misunderstanding over the nature of masculine and feminine energies. A painter doesn't create a portrait by acting like canvas and "being friends" with the canvas. He doesn't try to bribe the canvas and he doesn't "do what the canvas wants." He paints a portrait by finding canvas and painting on it.

If you want a girl...try acting like a guy. There's nothing "wrong" with this. There's nothing "bad" about being male.

"Why do all these over-confident jerks and so-called cool people around us are having the best sexual life?"

Generally it's because they know what they want, they don't have emotional hangups about it or feelings of inadequacy, and they go out and try to get it. If one guy spends a year being friends with a girl, acting like her friend, doing favors for her, smothering her with compliments....and then one day another guy says, "Hey. You're cute. Wanna fuck?" ...if she does...in both cases she gave the guys what they indicated they wanted from her.

You're not being a jerk by honestly making it clear what you want and taking action to make it happen. And if you really believe that it's evil or wrong, or "makes you a jerk" to want something and try to get it...you're probably going to have a miserable time trying to get what you want.

On the other hand if you pretend to be a girl's friend, then get upset when she chooses somebody else for sex...because you feel like she "owes you" for all the favors and compliments you gave her, then yes...you are definitely being a jerk.

[kaijyuu]

Have you guys ever wondered, "Why do all these over-confident jerks and so-called cool people around us are having the best sexual life?"

For some girls, being very kind and doing everything they want seems to be a turn-off. I know a girl who confessed to this. It seems to be more common in high school. Not all girls want bad boys, of course.

Some girls are shallow. Those are girls you don't want.


As someone who's attracted to men and is generally on the submissive side of things, I'll give what I want. I'm not a lady but I believe I fit most the stereotypes of women when it comes to dating.

First off, be yourself. I want to see a human being, not a mask you wear to try and make yourself more attractive.
Secondly, communicate your interests. If you're just friendly to me then I'll have no idea you want a romantic relationship.
Thirdly, be honest. Not only about your intentions, but also in your flirting/etc. Don't call me good looking unless you actually believe that. Don't give me gifts unless you want to give me gifts. Don't bribe, don't flatter.


Douchebags get girls because they fit all three of those. They don't hide anything, they're forward, and they don't try to bribe. "Dont' be an ass" isn't one of the prerequisites, though it might be for me, along with any girl you'll likely want to even date in the first place.

Long story short, continue to be nice, but don't manipulate, and tell her what you want. That's it. If you feel you have to be a jerk to get a girl, that's not a girl you want to pursue. Period.

[Tsuchigumo550]

And again I have experience here- some of us are destined to fail numerous times and even when it feels maybe you can take the next step with your one chance you have things come crashing down. I don't know where I stand with my current "girlfriend", but really, we're just people with similar interests that like to talk about things deeper than what was on TV.

Just talking with people is my one ace card. Socially I've went from nothing to the guy that hangs with literally everyone, but that dosen't mean I've had any success beyond having people to talk with. I hate to say it about myself because it makes it sound untrue, but I'm humble, generous, and humorous. Of course I've been walked on in the past, but thankfully I've learned to be careful about that.

In other words, I may not be attractive, sport-y, or the common image of popularity. I may be a nerd, into things expressly different, and uncaring about my own image. Somehow, I've managed to hang on to the popularity ladder and stay there, but there's never been any real bonus to getting more than just common friends.

I used to take that "be absurdly nice and nice things will happen" but that's not the way it works. You get friends and talk with people in their groups. Talk with people around you, but at least try to let it happen naturally. Don't immediately start talking to someone you want to date, but "work your way" up to them. Yeah, you'll fall into traps along the way, but that's society. Right now, that's how I have the closest thing to a girlfriend I've ever had came about because I met people who were like me and talked with them. Slowly the conversations got deeper and more meaningful, and that's where I am now.

[Ogdibus]

That's exactly the sort of thing that works for me; first familiarity, then trust, then intimacy, none of it forced.  If a person expresses genuine respect and interest, I melt like butter. x3

I think this is also how I end up attracting others, but I've never done it intentionally, it just sort of happens.