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[Yoink]

Roll to Steal Whatever You Can Get Your Dirty Poor Person Hands On!

"SEMI-DYSTOPIAN NEAR FUTURE? CHECK!
BLATANT DISREGARD FOR BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS? CHECK!
HEARTLESS EXPLOITATION OF THE DISADVANTAGED? CHECK!
BARELY-DISGUISED CRIMINAL ASSOCIATION? CHECk!!

It sounds to me like...

A new series of the hit reality gameshow, Steal Whatever You Can Get Your Dirty Poor Person Hands on!

I'm your host, Dazzle E. Ngcharm!
For first-time viewers, here on SWYCHJGYDPFFTO, we round up a bunch of useless, free-booting vagrants, put their ugly mugs on National Television and give them free reign to break into people's homes and indulge their sickening compulsion to SSSSTEAAAAAAL!

Watch in shocked awe as these filthy dole bludgers defecate all over our Shining National Values!
Thrill with perverse delight as they trample, stab and mutilate any guest stars unlucky enough to be home at the time!
Cover your eyes from the edge-of-seat tension as these no-accounts run for their lives from the long arm of our proud nation's Disciplinary Department!   

And don't forget, boys and girls, you NEVER KNOW just WHERE the action's going to go down!
Keep an eye out for our guest stars every episode, it might even be... You!"

Spoiler: Application Form (click to show/hide)

 
The following form is thrust into the hands of countless underprivileged folk across the Totilitarian "Nation", standing in line at a few miserable soup kitchens, the charity-funded welfare offices, and even just sitting in makeshift cardboard homes and parkbench-beds...

SWYCGYDPPHO APPLICATION FORM

Hello, unfortunate persons!
Looking for a new lease on life? Struggling to climb past the bottom rung of the social ladder? Ready for a new beginning?
Then sign up today for the GREATEST GAMESHOW IN THE NATION^TM!

Just fill out the following details that no-one's likely to bother reading anyway, paste on a photo(benign sticky substances only, please), sign the waiver at the bottom, and pop it in to one of RichGiggles TV Productions'^TM offices! *

Name:
Gender:
Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad:
Attach Photo: ((Appearance/Description goes here!)) 
Your most treasured posession: (Name one object (other than clothes) to start with. Certain things may be disallowed by RGTV if they confer an unfair advantage, or are too valuable for scum like you to hang on to.)

Good luck, and remember: "If it ain't nailed down, grab it! If it is, bring powertools!"^TM

_{*Note: If too stupid/blind/other to fill out form, simply bring it into our office and one of our friendly uncaring staff will fill it out for you. Most dialects (at least poorly) translated, whether verbal, sign or interpretive dance.}

Spoiler: OOC Rules (click to show/hide)

This game shall use standard d6 RTD rules, with 1 meaning a critical failure, 6 meaning an overshoot etc.
I shall write the actual results from said rolls however the heck I want.
The game shall run until either:
A) Someone 'wins' the game. (Ha!)
B) The Company hosting the Gameshow is shut down by the government.
C) The GM burns out and descends into alchoholism.
D) ALL OF THE ABOVE MOTHERF***ER!

That is all. I think. Um. No guns or similiar as your starting weapon. At least, not real/loaded ones. YOU ARE HOBOES, PEOPLE!

[Yoink]

Player List:

Spoiler: Tiruin / D'nagirb Feiht (click to show/hide)

Name: D'nagirb Feiht
Gender: Presumably Male.

Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: I tinker with things. Things I don't like. There are many things. I don't like. Many things. Must be fixed.

Attach Photo: I am two yards in length from top to bottom, with four appendages of nearly equal length, both attached to my torso in pairs. I have black hair and a tanned complexion. Which somehow brings out my eyes. Metaphorically. My Irises are colored Green. Forest Green.

I am normal.

Your most treasured posession: I have a wrench. This is my wrench. There are many others like it. But this wrench. Is Mine.

Spoiler: Harry Baldman / Grasasplurt! (click to show/hide)

Name: Grasasplurt! [what could be made out of his answer when asked for a name]

Gender: Male (although he insists that it is Dftgrahm!)

Biography: Born to uncertain parents (he gives their names as Ressaflart! and Lopigurt!) in an uncertain location (Garimansplasht!), Grasasplurt has wandered the terrible, terrible streets of many cities, occasionally receiving a government-mandated beating for theft, disturbing the peace and indecent exposure. Very little is known of his past, as Grasasplurt! only refers to a nebulous event or person known as Pogralintushm! when directly questioned about it. He is known to enjoy Geflikroshatam! and Fghraah!, or at least seems to think so.

Picture: His picture shows a man in his late forties with an extremely weathered look to him. His face is covered in scars, burns and various other marks of punishment visited upon him in by the world. He obviously didn't expect to be photographed, as his picture shows his face in an expression of wide-eyed shock, his eyes bugging out, his hands lifting up to protect his face and his entire body getting ready to run away as fast as possible! His mouth is also open in the picture, showing a mouth full of yellow, slightly rotten and mostly absent teeth. Finally, many of his features are obscured by his chest-length hair and beard, both of which are horribly unkempt and disheveled.

Most treasured possession: a set of five piano strings, obtained (in his words) by Jufkratsifling Fedrijpntrs.

Spoiler: MonkeyHead / SqueeAch (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: GUNINANRUNIN / Gom (click to show/hide)

Name: GomMay-NoMmay THE BeZT
Gender: Peen
Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: Nommay-Nommay. 2 full too finish teh legss,,
Attach Photo: No, hair. Gom like. shave? Excep his ar'm. arm stay Hair.
Your Most Treasured Possession: Treash can liid

Spoiler: Greenstarfanatic / George (click to show/hide)

Name: GEEEEORGE
Gender: Huh?
Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: I wuz born in a hole. And mah parents were a lamp and a toaster oven. They took care of me good. One day they just up and broke. I wuz a sad George. I needed money. Then some kind of banana guy came up and told me about this here thingy! And that;s why ahm writin' this here paper!
Attach Photo: The nice Fruit guy drew this here drawing of me! Ain't it a beaut!?
Your most treasured posession: Mah Ukulele!

Spoiler: Spinal_Taper / Dennis Reed (click to show/hide)

Name: Dennis Reed
Gender: Male
Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: Born poor. Stayed poor.
Attach Photo: Tattered clothing, brown hair and black eyes. Both ways. He's always dirty.
Your most treasured posession: A small novella.

Waitlist:

1. NoahTopHatz

[NoahTophatz]

can you put me on the wait list as I finish exams on the 15th
plus it looks like people will die in this so I don't need to wait long

[Tiruin]

Well, a Yoink RTD.

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

SWYCGYDPPHO APPLICATION FORM

Hello, unfortunate persons!
Looking for a new lease on life? Struggling to climb past the bottom rung of the social ladder? Ready for a new beginning?
Then sign up today for the GREATEST GAMESHOW IN THE NATIONTM!

Just fill out the following details that no-one's likely to bother reading anyway, paste on a photo(benign sticky substances only, please), sign the waiver at the bottom, and pop it in to one of RichGiggles TV Productions'TM offices! *

Name: D'nagirb Feiht
Gender: Presumably Male.

Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: I tinker with things. Things I don't like. There are many things. I don't like. Many things. Must be fixed.

Attach Photo: I am two yards in length from top to bottom, with four appendages of nearly equal length, both attached to my torso in pairs. I have black hair and a tanned complexion. Which somehow brings out my eyes. Metaphorically. My Irises are colored Green. Forest Green.

I am normal.

Your most treasured posession: I have a wrench. This is my wrench. There are many others like it. But this wrench. Is Mine.

Good luck, and remember: "If it ain't nailed down, grab it! If it is, bring powertools!"TM

*Note: If too stupid/blind/other to fill out form, simply bring it into our office and one of our friendly uncaring staff will fill it out for you. Most dialects (at least poorly) translated, whether verbal, sign or interpretive dance.

[Harry Baldman]

Oh, I'd like to apply. Oh yes indeed.

Spoiler: Grasasplurt! (click to show/hide)

Name: Grasasplurt! [what could be made out of his answer when asked for a name]

Gender: Male (although he insists that it is Dftgrahm!)

Biography: Born to uncertain parents (he gives their names as Ressaflart! and Lopigurt!) in an uncertain location (Garimansplasht!), Grasasplurt has wandered the terrible, terrible streets of many cities, occasionally receiving a government-mandated beating for theft, disturbing the peace and indecent exposure. Very little is known of his past, as Grasasplurt! only refers to a nebulous event or person known as Pogralintushm! when directly questioned about it. He is known to enjoy Geflikroshatam! and Fghraah!, or at least seems to think so.

Picture: His picture shows a man in his late forties with an extremely weathered look to him. His face is covered in scars, burns and various other marks of punishment visited upon him in by the world. He obviously didn't expect to be photographed, as his picture shows his face in an expression of wide-eyed shock, his eyes bugging out, his hands lifting up to protect his face and his entire body getting ready to run away as fast as possible! His mouth is also open in the picture, showing a mouth full of yellow, slightly rotten and mostly absent teeth. Finally, many of his features are obscured by his chest-length hair and beard, both of which are horribly unkempt and disheveled.

Most treasured possession: a set of five piano strings, obtained (in his words) by Jufkratsifling Fedrijpntrs.

[Yoink]

Oh yes, this reminds me: I shall accept 5 players to begin with!

The first update is scheduled for tomorrow. It is too dark to see my keyboard right now.

Edit: Oh, yes, Noah! Sure, you can be waitlisted. Once the waitlist exists, tomorrow.

[MonkeyHead]

Spoiler: You got a penguin? You gotta have a fucking pengiun man! (click to show/hide)

[Parsely]

Name: GomMay-NoMmay THE BeZT
Gender: Peen
Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: Nommay-Nommay. 2 full too finish teh legss,,
Attach Photo: No, hair. Gom like. shave? Excep his ar'm. arm stay Hair.
Your Most Treasured Possession: Treash can liid

[LordSlowpoke]

PTW.

[Greenstarfanatic]

Reserve! This is gonna be Quote worthy indeed!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: GEEEEORGE
Gender: Huh?
Biography/Just how things got to be so gosh-darned bad: I wuz born in a hole. And mah parents were a lamp and a toaster oven. They took care of me good. One day they just up and broke. I wuz a sad George. I needed money. Then some kind of banana guy came up and told me about this here thingy! And that;s why ahm writin' this here paper!
Attach Photo: The nice Fruit guy drew this here drawing of me! Ain't it a beaut!?
Your most treasured posession: Mah Ukulele!

[Thecard]

Hell yes.  I'm watching this.

[Spinal_Taper]

RESERVE PLZ SENOR.

[Parsely]

Sheet submitted. This will be fun.

[Harry Baldman]

((First three sheets are in, and 3 out of 3 hobos are insane or at least debilitatingly stupid! You know, that would kind of fit the show nicely. Makes for good ratings when you unleash lunatics on the populace.))

[Greenstarfanatic]

((My sheet's in. I'm not good at writing for crazy people.))