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[Mr S]

Well, this time I'm NOT talking about making sure there are enough coffins and memorial slabs mucking about do deal with the loss of Fisherdwarves and Milkers when the Were-Carp come a-calling.

Today, I'm thinking about how I'd put things into my own funeral that would add a DF touch, from subtle to not quite so subtle.  I'm also very curious to see what the community has to say about these things, either suggestions, or plans you've made for yourselves.  So far, my search-fu hasn't turned up a thread of this sort, at least in recent memory, while there are any number of ones listing delightful ways to memorialize your DF comrades.

I'm thinking of this a bit today since I've got a surgery coming up that could have some unpleasant side effects.  Death is one of them.  And, you know what, if my days are up, just as the number of hairs in my beard are finite, I'd like it to go down like a Boss!

So, here goes; I'm going to compile a list of ideas for a Dwarfy funeral.  I'll begin a numbering sequence, and I'll periodically update the OP with the number of suggestions up to a given time/date.

I'll also reserve a second post for ideas I would like to have in MY OWN funeral, collected from the thread as a whole.  Not everyone's tastes are the same, after all.  I prefer to consume potatoes and Mike's Hard Lemonade, but I absolutely detest cranberries.

Here follows a list of Dwarfy Funeral Concepts:

1. Coffin, in addition to being as high of a base value as possible, must also have at least one decoration/improvement.  The handles don't count.  Think, +<=Oaken Casket=>+.  This is an exceptional Oaken Casket.  It has silk sewn into it.  It menaces with spikes of Olivine.  It is studded with Black Bronze.  On it is an image of cheese in Burnt Umber.

2. My state requires that coffins, even when burried, must be sealed in a vault.  These are NORMALLY a concrete box with a lid.  I'll have to see about getting mine made of Obsidian.  I would literally be encased in Obsidian!

3. Pipers.  Because Bagpipes.  Don't judge me.

4. Invitations will be planned ahead of time to the wake/dinner/whatever afterward.  It will state that I have posthumously organized a party at the Maple Table (substituting type of table I'll have had in my house at that time).

5. The wake/dinner/whatever should have as many high quality booze and prepared meals as possible, in addition to fine chairs and tables to maximize the happy thoughts gained from observing them.

6. An artist will be commisioned to do a statue after I die.  If it is of me striking any kind of menacing pose, he'll get a bonus of some very fine =Socks=.  If it's a statue of a triangle, he gets smashed under a drawbridge.  Fucking art majors.

7. Play Toady's background music.  Subtle.  Classy.

8. My will shall state that all of my belongings are forbidden upon death, thus avoiding a Sock Stampede.  Only the executor of the will overseer will have authority to distribute things and adjudicate any issues of probate.

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Items as of 01 Nov 12, 2105 CDT:  8
Items as of 05 Nov 12, 1935 CST:  16
Items as of 07 Nov 12, 2140 CST:  26

[Mr S]

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[sudgy]

Have something that sums up your life written like Legends Mode.  Like:

Urist McDead

Urist McDead was a human who was born in 1938.  [All the people in my legends are of unknown parentage, put your parents here]

In the summer of 1956, he graduated from Some High School.

etc.

In the Autumn of 2012, Urist died of a heart attack.


You get the idea...

[Loud Whispers]

There is something morbidly specific about this thread...

[RenoFox]

I have already decided that my gravestone memorial slab must have foxes on it. In dwarven style that would probably be a single line reading "Lover of foxes".

[smirk]

2. My state requires that coffins, even when burried, must be sealed in a vault.

Somewhere coastal, eh? I hear they do that down in Florida. Alternative: If you have loved ones who wouldn't mind attempting something that is probably wildly illegal, they could take your body to Hawaii and dump it in a volcano. One-way trip to the Magma Sea!        _{Probably well outside the realm of possibility though...}

For the party scenario, make sure everyone brings their favorite pets. And birds. And livestock. Also, all booze should be kept in/served out of barrels.

[misko27]

Children are bad, but remember dwarves age at 12. 

List all items in your will with quality signifiers.

Memorial slab must state if you prefer some sort of mineral or animal.

[Broken]

I put the tombs of my resident badass in a little room hanging above a magma pool, supported only by a single pillar.
When she died, i gather everybody in the fortress and make her son pull the lever.

Sniff.

[Tally]

At your funeral, have carp set into an aquarium. They must be in cages attached to a pulley attached to a lever. The lever is never pulled (at least not by the administration).

[Mr S]

Good ideas going in here.  I'd thought of Hawaiian volcano idea, but it seems cost prohibitive.

Coastal?  Nope, midwest.  I'm pretty sure one of our Governors had a cousin in the vault business, seems like that's how things happen in this state.  (Like selling a Senatorial seat that's "F*ing Golden")

I do wonder if I could have my house suspended on a pillar of soap and sink it into the ground after the party?

OK, that's 16 so far.

Next number is 17!

[Man In Zero G]

Burial vaults or lawn crypts are pretty much the standard most everywhere now, not always due to local or state law, but usually due to cemetery rules especially if they are ICCFA members. It prevents the sinkholes. From when the casket rots/rusts out. (Also keeps the zombies in, shhhhhh.)
These are the things you learn when you work at the cemetery for a summer.

Now, a full-on mausoleum, if you can swing the price, that would be dwarfy. Wit engravings on all the interior walls, some scenes form your own life, some from random historical figures/people from your town/random images - just like the tombs in game end up. Bonus is, they build it now, even if you don't die, your tomb will be there waiting for you when the inevitable comes. (Again, just like in your forts) You would be even more likely to be able to get your obsidian vault for your casket too.
Then you just have to get on good terms with the cemetery management so you can go ahead and start storing your old worn out clothes in your tomb just like the dwarves do.

[Man In Zero G]

(Don't know why this double posted.)

[Mr S]

You're right!! I should start keeping all of my xXSocksXx to put in my tomb!

[Pokon]

Naturaly, one could rent out parts of Iceland, so you can be buried in ice cave of your choice. There swanky.

[hops]

1. Don't forget to write in your will that you and your coffin will be dumped into magma.
2. Also on the coffin part fill it with socks and have them cover you like those plastic stuffs that cover products.
3. Fill it with booze too. Soak all the socks with booze.
4. Or intentionally write a loophole in your will and have a close relative suddenly taking all your preparations and tombs and dump you into a cheap casket, noble style.
5. Write in your will that if whoever you want to give your stuffs to have to play DF and flood the world with magma.
6. ...or not have a funeral and rise up as a ghost, but that's pretty undoable.
7. Or maybe write that you will donate everything to Toady if he releases the full version for Dwarf Fortress.