1 Hematite 1057Seems nobody wants to buckle down and keep count of all of the doodads lying around the fortress. I ordered the smiths to make 5 lots of gold coins. Hope that'll be enough to convince the Mountainhomes to send us one of their official pebble-counters. I can't believe these slackers haven't got any coins made yet after seven years. Shameful.
These Armok-damned nobles have been whining on and on about how their rooms aren't pretty enough. Mostly they're pissed that they don't have any weapon racks or armour stands. There's not even any reason for them to have that stuff, they don't even have any weapons. Suspicious. I don't want to give the fuckers even more shit that they didn't earn, but they're already throwing people in the slammer for stupid stuff. I don't want to be next.
It took me a very long time to find the mason's shop to order more weapon racks. The layout of this fortress is impossible to figure out.
They must be trying everything they can to make me screw up. When I finally found it, I could hardly see it through all the doors piled around it:
Someone (probably
them) told them to keep making doors and never told them to stop after, and bless them, they're still plugging away. Why is it that the only time these wastes of booze work hard is when it's on something useless? I told them enough with the doors, we need weapon racks and armour stands instead.
2 Hematite 1057Somebody found some sweet pods lying around. Dwarven rum's pretty disgusting, but we don't have enough plump helmets to waste any on brewing, so it'll have to do. I've ordered the stills to begin brewing the pods.
3 Hematite 1057Are
they taunting me? I just found two abandoned mason's shops a bit north of the dining hall:
Why were the masons running back and forth across the Hell-Hall when there were perfectly-good shops over here? Have
they been messing with job orders, too? Maybe the workers are working together with
them? I mustn't let on that I know. But I'm going to keep careful watch.
It's annoying how the workers are always running across the Hell-Hall for every little thing. It looks like most of our workshops are over there. We'll be digging out some new workshop areas close these hidden mason's shops. It'll take some of the load off the Hell-Hall:
They are everywhere in this fortress. Just yesterday I found a nest of
them in a corner of one of the food stockpiles. Most of
them got away, but I managed to chop one of the little ones clean in half, from
its nose to
its tail. I felt bad afterwards, like I'd done something wrong. The other dwarves were looking at me funny. They don't understand.
I've set the magma forges to begin making bronze maces to put in weapon traps after they're done with the coins. Swords are quicker, but I want
them to feel their bones break.
Also, I've been told there's a horse standing motionless in one of the hallways past the chasm:
I went to take a look. It was creepy to look at. It just stood there, staring at nothing, its foals nudging it sometimes to try to get their mother's attention. Did
they do this? I've never seen
them do anything like this. Maybe it was
their masters in the deep, the ones whose voices I keep hearing.
Some people are whining about not having nice enough clothes. I told them to get stuffed. That just made them angrier. Sometimes, I want to lock all of the louts in a big room with a rusty hoe and come back a month later to see which of them are still breathing.
Anyways, their whining was getting on my nerves, so I decided to humour them. We don't have enough cloth to waste it on making undies for all these layabouts, but we do have piles of leather lying around, so I ordered the leatherworkers to begin making shirts and pants. With the way these pansies slack off, it'll be a month before they even get to the shop.
8 Hematite 1057The smiths finished their first batch of coins. They showed me the design, asking me what I thought:
I said that I thought I told them to do some work, not waste time carving two stupid pictures of dwarves talking to dwarves onto every single stupid coin. You can't even flip these stupid things -- both sides have the same stupid image. They started ranting at me about how the whatever of the whatever represented the glory of whatever and how it spoke to the dwarven whatever. I told them the only glory they should be thinking of would be the glory of my boot up their asses if they didn't stop wasting time on this artsy-fartsy crap. They bawled and whined for a bit, and I yelled at them for a bit, and long story short, they're still putting the stupid pictures on the coins no matter what I say.
I even tried to make a deal, said they could keeping putting little pictures on the coins if it was something good, like a giant horned frog eating the Trade Minister's guts, or one of
them digging a hoity-toity metalcrafter's eyes out. They wouldn't have it. Something about how I was "interfering with their artistic vision". Who's giving the orders around here?
The cave river flooded again today, sweeping a craftsdwarf off the bridge and into the river. She then began swimming
away from the bridge:
Can't these lumps do anything right? I understand that she was panicked, but how do you screw up that badly? It was almost funny, watching her splash around helplessly. She drowned a bit later, along with a jeweller who was slacking off along the southern riverbank for some reason. I'm happy they died, honestly.
11 Hematite 1057Some humans arrived to trade today. Not as bad as the elves, but any sunbathing sissy who's too good to do some digging's no friend of mine. Hope their precious sun lights them all on fire someday.
Our cats are breeding like
them. We got around 11 kittens just in the last week. Disgusting little creatures. They remind me of
them, all small and fuzzy with their little squeaky mewling. I've marked the little beasts to be butchered, and I plan to help do it. I never bothered learning to do any of the stupid crap these other dwarves do -- nobody had much use for arts and crafts back at the farm -- but I can butcher things. So at least that job's going to be done right.
13 Hematite 1057The eggheads finally finished building a second lever in the dining hall. I ordered it to be hooked up to the Hell-Hall flooding machine:
Wonder how long it'll take them to do this?
Also, after almost two weeks since I gave the order, one of the brewers finally got off her ass and brewed a bushel of sweet pods into rum. Slackers, all of them.
18 Hematite 1057It took the human trade representative a week to finalise his export request. This is it:
Not sure why he took so long to do it. Suspicious.
[OOC: He was probably debating with himself whether he wanted them at 168% or 169%.]There's blood splattered everywhere in the barracks:
Nobody could tell me where it came from. Kept saying a training exercise had gone wrong. Good to see they're working hard, wish I could have watched them slice each other to ribbons. Still, suspicious.
There are wood stockpiles in all sorts of weird places in this fort. I'm removing them, and moving our wood-related stuff to the new workshop area north of the dining hall:
20 Hematite 1057One of our masons caught a kobold snooping around our entrance:
I was expecting it to flee, but it instead chases him further into the fortress:
That's not right. Kobolds are supposed to be cowards. Suspicious.
Normally, I'd be happy to spill the filthy skulker's guts myself, but all these headaches and weird noises I've been getting are really tiring, and I just don't feel up to it:
The other squads can do it. If they find a way to get themselves killed, all the better.
They don't get a chance, though, because one of the trader guy's bodyguards runs up and hacks it to bits before any of the lazy bastards even get there:
I guess it's nice that someone in this fortress is doing his job.
Two more kobolds are sighted in the entrance:
The one on the bottom right immediately gets the pointy end of the nearby miner's pick rammed into its skull. Meanwhile, the second kobold does something that terrifies me:
It forms a line with the nearby noblewoman and her child and the three begin marching towards the inside of the fortress while shouting "Conga! Conga! Conga!". Is this some new witchcraft of
theirs? Or have the kobolds learned black magic as well?
They encounter some other dwarves, who join in on the madness:
Splint, thankfully, isn't affected by the spell, and quickly chops the sorcerer-kobold's head off:
I guess these louts aren't completely worthless.
25 Hematite 1057The humans finished unloading their items. I traded them several binfuls of goblin underpants for some berries and cloth. These layabouts had better get the berries into barrels before they spoil or there'll be hell to pay. I don't think they will, though.
I found a huge pile of bones lying around in a room south of the old entrance. Figure we might as well get some use out of them:
1 Malachite 1057It looks like the eggheads finally finished linking the other lever in the dining hall to the Hell-Hall floodgate:
Can't say much for their work ethic, but this machine stuff of theirs is damn impressive. Maybe I can get that Scruffy guy to teach me? He's pretty cool for an egghead. Gonna ask him about building a machine to kill
them, too.
4 Malachite 1057The human trader guy's still here. He's taking a long time with this. Either he's lazy or he's plotting something with
them. The mayor asked me what we should order. I told him to order us some river spirits and cheese. I'm not much for sissy human booze, but hopefully the nobles will stop bothering me if I give them some fancy snacks to suck on. I know some of the fungus sprouting around the riverbed is poison, maybe I could cook that up and say it's that 'gore-may' stuff they keep babbling about. That'd be nice.
8 Malachite 1057Scruffy's been trying to teach me about mechanics. It hasn't been going so good. He gave up today, says I'm probably just not smart enough. He's wrong, I'm plenty smart. He just doesn't want me to learn his secrets. Bastard. He deserves to die.
12 Malachite 1057I saw the governess carrying a plump helmet, so I followed her to her room and locked her in. We'll see if nobles can breathe underwater:
Doesn't look like it:
It was funny hearing her screaming for help before she went under. Her voice doesn't carry good. I could barely hear her through the door.
16 Malachite 1057
Fuzzy little monsters. They look like
them. I love it when I lift up the cleaver, and they look at me all innocent, not knowing what happens next. Then they realise what's going on and squeal right before I bring it down on their filthy necks.
19 Malachite 1057The House Fer and House Ber people have been bugging me every other day about the "intolerable deficit of adequate lodgings", which probably means something about not having any proper rooms. Which means that they are the next good-for-nothing nobles to get things they didn't earn just because they'll make a stink if they don't:
I'm sick to death of playing nanny to these pieces of troll shit. They're worse than
them. I'd love to get rid of them like with the Governess, but they'd get suspicious if I moved them into her room right away. They'll get what they deserve, though. I swear it.
24 Malachite 1057
I wanted to feed the bitch's corpse to
them, or throw her in the chasm with the rest of the trash, but the other dwarves insisted.
Splint says I'm acting funny. He says I'm acting like a "psychopath", and that I'm not usually this mean, and that it's scaring him. I just want to give these crapbags what they deserve, though. Nothing wrong with that. I bet he's working with
them and trying to confuse me.
27 Malachite 1057Looks like one of the House guys gets a room with a view:
I hope a batman flies in and rips his throat out while he's sleeping.
There are piles and piles of useless skulls lying around. I've ordered them to be chasmed. Hopefully throwing some stuff down there will piss off the critters enough to make them crawl up and gut a few lazy workers.
[Date Unknown][/u]
[The writing from this point on is shaky, as though the authour was having difficulty keeping her hands steady]I'm seeing them in my dreams now. The voices from behind the magma flow. They're awful. Giant horned toads. Huge naked men with six oozing, groping arms. Screaming man-shapes made of fire, so bright and hot that it hurts just to look at them. And behind them, something far worse.
They were everywhere, crawling all over me, squeaking and chattering. They offered me wonderful things. They said they could get rid of
them, even make
them work for me. They said they could give me Little Brother back, or make me a real man so I don't have to pretend anymore or wear those scratchy fake beards. All I had to do was trust them, and do what they said. I didn't trust them. Anything that works with
them can't be trusted.
It was hard not to trust them, though. It's hard to explain. They seemed good, for some reason. I could tell they weren't really evil. I just knew, somehow. But I can't trust them. I can't.
2 Galena 1057
I noticed a little dining hall set up near the old entrance. Nobody ever even uses it. Why is it there? It doesn't even seem like something
they'd do.
Meanwhile, this mason here's picked a good place to dump his stuff:
8 Galena 1057
A bunch of stinking monkeys is doing a faster job of cleaning up than our entire fortress of 100 dwarves ever will.
There are weapon and armour stockpiles scattered all over the fort. Our soldiers are already lazy; making them bumble around the entire fortress twice to pick up equipment will make sure they'll never actually get any training in. I've set a new stockpile room to be dug next to the barracks:
9 Galena 1057
These idiots! Why hasn't anybody told me that some dumbass craftsdwarf accidentally blocked himself inside the bone hoard!? As funny as it'd be to let the moron dry up and die, I've given the order for the workshop blocking him to be torn down.
Hey, I bet it'd be even funnier if he dropped dead on the way to the booze stockpile.
13 Galena 1057A craftsdwarf named Mebzuth has been acting funny. He's grabbed a clothier's shop near the entrance and is running around gathering crap. What's he up to?
18 Galena 1057Looks like Mebzuth finally has everything he needs. It's a lot of stuff -- a piece of cloth, a couple logs, some leather, a rock, kobold bones, and some gems. All that for a piece of clothing. I hate this 'ote cotoor' bullcrap. What kind of stupid garment needs two whole logs to make?
Still, I've never seen a dwarf work so hard. It's nice. I still want to rip his head off, though.
22 Galena 1057Mebzuth has finished his project. I like the pictures. Why can't we have stuff like this on our coins?:
I asked Mebzuth why he needed two whole logs to make it when there were only a couple little decorations. He just shrugged. Suspicious. Do
they eat wood?
Author
Topic: CraftedDreams - A 2-D Succession Fort (Read 46132 times)