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Author Topic: The saga of the internet  (Read 3545 times)

Scoops Novel

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The saga of the internet
« on: October 26, 2012, 08:47:41 am »

Oh wise masters, rouse thyselfs from the taverns in which your beards reside and relate to us younglings the tale of this technology that has changed our lives. Begin a story in the ancient tradition of epics and myths from the world over. Bring your dragons and spider trickster gods, dreamtimes and spirits, war and sacrifice, cruelty and passion, love and understanding, hopes and dreams and weave them into a tale to be proud of.

This young man asks: "how did it begin?"
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2012, 09:22:19 am »

Did it begin with the ever growing world wide web?
The computers, the logic or the industry?
Did it begin with the people?
The old man asks the silent audience.

lordcooper

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2012, 12:27:51 pm »

A yokel in the crowd yells out a mostly unintelligible sentence containing the word wikipedia.
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MonkeyHead

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2012, 12:55:41 pm »

Ah, alas, I was not there at the start, but I was one of the first who followed the pioneers into those heady lands. Internet enabled Acorn computer running RISC-OS, Netscape Navigator, 16kb/s external dial up modem complete with the wonderful noise of a connecting modem, through an ISP known as IC24 who would give me free internet provided session times never exceeded one hour. Much joy was had disconnecting at 59.59.99 and redailing. One single internet computer in my school library which you could book out for use if you wanted to use the new fangled internet to find things out on Homestead pages or other webrings. Altavista used to be the best search engine, then LyCos, then DogPile, then Ask Jeeves. Hamsterdance provided all the entertainment we needed. WinMX had all you could imagine for downloading. Multiplayer quake was a joy for any to partake in. There were dark evils as well - though thankfully frames have now been banished to the depths of hell.
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ISP

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2012, 01:02:40 pm »

nananananananana-nahnah-nananananananana-NahNah-nahnAh-NahNah!
Oh hey there!

Most people think the internet is like a stream of information that flows swift and sure in two directions, but I have seen the face of the internet and I can tell you, they are wrong, the internet is an ocean in a storm, you may wonder who I am and why I say this, come and I will tell you a tale like none you have ever heard...
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2012, 01:19:27 pm »

This ocean of travelling information was directed towards constructive and gloriously wasteful ends, like a series of interconnected tubes - relaying entire digital constructs at the speed of light.
It heralded a new age of heroes - the age of information.

Flying Dice

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2012, 03:55:48 pm »

...and on the seventh day He did post image macros.
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Mageziya

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2012, 05:03:19 pm »

In the beginning, there were two computers.

Tied to phone lines they were,

But connected, they were too,

The engineer began to type the first message,

He sought to type the word, "Login",

But after the second letter was formed,

The computer crashed,

but the message was sent,

And the first message ever on the internet was,

"LO"


'Tis a true story, if I recall correctly.
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Every dwarf, every dwarven man, women, and child, that comes to our forts will die there; it's truly sad when you think about it. And we ask our selves, why? Why do we push forward, knowing this fate, that we are destined for failure? Because, this game grasps the concept of mortality. Some games you can never lose, but we all stop eventually, causing a 'death' to those game's 'worlds'. Dwarf Fortress gives us a definite end, knowing that we will leave that world eventually, and move on to more.

MonkeyHead

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2012, 05:04:34 pm »

Part of me suspects that the first message on the internet might have been "ASL?" or "M or F?"
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Flying Dice

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2012, 05:05:58 pm »

To which the traditional response is 94/Bi/Siberia.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2012, 05:18:27 pm »

Repeated cries of FIRST only led to the evolution of messaging, with A/S/L giving way to Lottery/Win/Nigeria

ISP

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2012, 05:26:09 pm »

And with the birth of the internet came the inevitable afterbirth of internet pornography...
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2012, 06:14:23 pm »

...And then the rebirth of internet pornography.

Flying Dice

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2012, 08:02:29 pm »

And the light shone upon the vast expanses of the booruscape, and He saw that it was good.
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Starver

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Re: The saga of the internet
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2012, 08:21:22 pm »

The Internet family has many members[1], and yet most of those who tell their story will tell only of young Web.  Web, who is barely beyond his teenage years is the one seen striding abroad, vocalising to all and sundry his triumphs and his growing pains.  And not without reason, for he draws and paints and sings and speaks and shares his mighty tomes upon which his visage is embossed, the lives of the people lying within.  And most of the people within our land will acclaim him the one who forwards the cause of the people the most.  And some could not even do without his bird impressions...

And yet, there are others.  Many go to one or other of the younger clansmen and clanswomen to beg them to entertain them, once introduced by the world-wise Web.  For example, the child who is known by some as Torrence serves as an entertaining bard and actor and skilled counterfeiter alike, but you should be warned that, like many of his family, he has knowledge well beyond that his eleven years should allow and not all of it is beneficial.  A cousin of his, Flavia, is however the one often more trusted by the minstrels and playwrights of the world to convey their works as (and when) they intended.

Emile is one of the senior members of the family.  A child of the 70s, few people can manage without his help at delivering messages, although many also rue his indifference to the recipients and willingness to convey to them the most perverse missives.  Indeed, it's not unknown for him to present one with communiques pretending to be from money lenders or merchants, the true senders' designs to be to steal your precious groats by many different foul means.

Terry Nathaniel, or Tel Nate to his friends, is older still, and yet rarely do the populace of today remember his services.  No matter, for the wise of the land know that they can call on him in times of need.  So powerful are his abilities that it is not unknown for those learn'ed in the arts required to call upon him to intermediate with Web or Emile or many other of the family.

Brother, or sister, to Tel, is Phil/Fillis, the Transvestite.  He/she has always be willing to fetch and carry for the ordinary man (or woman), and will do so either dominatively or submissively.  Many's the strapping young lad who has had a good night at home thanks to our gallant, and flamboyant and downright kinky, courier.  Although serious merchants would also entrust him/her their goods.

The sibling Eugene Nathanial was a prominent bard of the Internet clan, once, until struck by a curse by a witch one September (that remains this September, still) that caused him to become a chatterbox and drown out many of his past witicisms.  'Euge' still lives on, but Web and Torrence alike oft takes his glory and repeat choice samples of his words.

Some of the outliers of the family never did prosper so well.  Verma L., for some a notably skilled sculptor and architect of the previous decade, was often found to be difficult to get to apply themselves upon works that could be appreciated by all.  These days young Flash may be asked to perform some of these tasks in his stead.

Finally, it is debatable whether the stray dog, Fido, actually belonged to this dynasty, but has been seen to be fed by them and show some devotion to the family when met.


[1] <fnar fnar>
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