Outside Brenwicke's Books...
Niklas, realizing he really wants to have a cool harpoon arm - it'll give him rather good sea cred, he believes - tries to transmute the thing into a chair!
However, it does not work for some reason. Guess because it's not a chair or something. Damn it. Now he truly realizes how cool a harpoon chair would be, too. Such a shame.
"Ooh, ooh, dad! I've got an idea! Maybe you could... detach your arm and send it flying to someone! And then they'd explode! And your arm would explode, too! It'd be like fireworks, the ones Kruub does, but way more smelly and dangerous!"
"Torkel! Don't distract daddy while he's doing magic!"
As Niklas' plan fails, the others move along. Particularly Sigmund, the point man in this little scheme, who has recently woken up from a state of paralyzing terror.
"The guards are armored and carry swords. One of them is a six-armed but silent blue fellow. Any questions before I go to distract one of them?"
There don't appear to be any. Sigmund wonders if this is because they weren't listening. After supposing that to be the case, he wanders over to the store and knocks on the door. Nobody answers.
Kevin, observing that the plan is in motion, immediately feels a little exposed. He looks around for any place to hide, but, not finding any, stands in the middle of the street next to Scott, who... has disappeared somewhere. Damn it! Okay, he stands next to Niklas, hoping that the latter will prove distracting enough for nobody to pay attention to him.
On the deck of the shrieking ship of Shriekpot...
Morton, sort of forgetting what's what in a moment of absentminded confusion, wanders over to the Artiste, Art and... that other lady, Not-Erin or something.
"Good Master Artiste, good Mage Art, and..." he begins, but then realizes that he really doesn't remember this woman's name. How embarrassing. "Good Miss Mage."
"Evelyn, actually. I did not sleep that long, did I?" Evelyn asks.
"Actually, you practically hibernated. Winter's over now, in fact."
"Ah. Of course," Evelyn says, finishing what may be her fourth glass of the Special already.
"To tell the truth, I really didn't remember your name when you stepped over here! Hahahah!" the Artiste says.
Morton then tries to segue into conversation, but realizes that he really doesn't know why he's talking to them.
"Erm, well... carry on," he says, shambling over to where Tailor Craig and the Captain are speaking.
"I do hope I'm not interrupting anything, but good Tailor Craig, could I perhaps request use of a cloth suitable for cleaning wooden surfaces? I'd like to keep myself in proper condition, you see."
Tailor Craig turns to Morton, producing a white, sturdy rag from his pocket. "No trouble at all, really," he says, handing the thing over to Morton.
In a jail cell...
Mark sways four times, in the mood for some self-help right about now.
"Self-help it is, then," the sergeant says, getting out a thick book with the word THINK written on it in bold letters.
"Okay, so this book is called 'THINK: Self-Improvement Via Self-Control'. I haven't read it, so I guess I'll start from the introduction."
He opens up the book, going through several pages.
"Damn, that's a long foreword. Okay, here's the introduction... hm, okay."
He clears his throat and begins.
"Introduction - But I Think Already!"
"Greetings and salutations, noble reader! You have shown surprisingly good judgment by purchasing or otherwise... obtaining this wise volume of smart words that will make you brain better. Now that that's out of the way, we can get to business. You are clearly lost, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this book. After all, if you knew what you were doing, why would you need help? You see, the problem is, you don't think. No need to be ashamed of it except in a purely motivational fashion - in today's impatient and relentlessly babied society, very few can say they truly think about things. And those that do usually really don't, either. This is a problem. However, by obtaining this book, you have stepped on the path to improvement, and its ideas will help you quite immensely if you take them to whatever organ houses your particular thoughts. Pay attention! You will gain much by learning and considering, but, most of all, thinking!"
"Chapter One - How To Think!"
"Thinking is easy, really! You do it every day! The key to doing it is to stop. Stop what you're doing, stop moving, stop physical activity, and turn inwards. Your thinking box considers this the proper signal to start properly working, you know. And your thinking box, such as it may be, may come in handy quite a bit. Unless you're an idiot, in which case you shouldn't be thinking at all and this book is of no use to you. But you wouldn't know anything about it even if you were, so we have no choice but to continue."
"As it was mentioned, when in control of a situation (for example, when cooking a meal at home or chiseling what may be a priceless sculpture out of stone), it pays to stop and consider your next move, your method of achieving your objective and how exactly you could fail at what you hope to accomplish. With this in mind, proceed calmly and in a controlled fashion, and you will find that many things may become easier! It is certainly amazing what hidden depths your mind possesses when you actually bother to use it! Go ahead, try it sometime. Stop, THINK, then act!"
The guard shrugs.
"Seems like pretty obvious advice. And yet there's a great many more chapters here."
He turns a few pages, then gets back to the page right after the one he just read.
"Chapter Two - Applied Thinking!"
"You can apply your thinking box to a great many endeavors, but perhaps the best use of it is in craftsmanship! While some people craft purely by instinct, many people may find that they benefit from some planning and restraint more than their wild artistic vision! It helps to not bite off more than you can chew, and when you THINK, you realize your limits and how to not overstep them! As such, you may find your work improve substantially if you plan it out more, though make sure to allow for flexibility - also a great function of your boundless mind that you are encouraged to use!"
"Also, you can apply thinking to social situations as well, though it usually gets a bit awkward if you do - while you are being smart, you doubtlessly will look like a complete fool if you haven't practiced a good thinking face to put on. A good strategy is to ask a question about something unimportant, then, while your partner answers you, think of a strategy on the spot! Try it with your friends and family. Or, better yet, total strangers! But probably the best way to apply thinking socially is to read your partner even before you begin to speak - very good when you are trying to approach someone and you need something from them, whether your end goal is a promotion or an illicit sexual relationship!"
The sergeant coughs a bit.
"Chapter Three - When Things Go Out Of Control!"
"However much it may please you, sometimes things aren't within your control and you can't take things at your own pace, whether due to time constraints or imminent danger. These situations are not conducive to thinking, naturally, and most of what you have learned here may not apply, as you simply have no time to think! For instance, there might be a bear running after you! Or your house might be on fire! Or your children might be in the middle of being slowly decapitated! These situations happen, and there is little you can do to prevent them."
"That is, unless you think far enough ahead to avoid most of them, but that's the master class of this particular form of self-improvement. For ordinary people, it helps to prioritize! While performing a routine, instinctual action such as, say, trying to escape a bear, you may still distract yourself to think of something, and this may actually be helpful! However, it is also dangerous, so you had best be careful! Overall, the strategy in these cases should be to remove yourself from immediate peril if possible, then THINK carefully on your next move! And in a time-sensitive situation, take a moment in the beginning of your task to figure out what exactly you need to do and make a plan - it increases your efficiency nicely enough that the loss of time may be worth it!"
The sergeant coughs again, this time more intensely, and puts the book down.
"Excuse me, I'll go get a glass of water or two for myself."
He gets up and walks off for now.
On the outskirts of the City of the Dead...
Darren, having received quite a lot of information these past few minutes, decides to keep the exposition streak going.
"Alright, so what do you know about what it's like down there? Where it's really deep?"
"Well, not a lot, to be honest - I'm not even sure where exactly that is - I think they're talking about the engineers' graveyard, which is on the west - well, what used to be the west side of town. I didn't go there when I was alive - I didn't have any engineer relatives. And the last time I wandered into the engineers' quarter back when I was alive, which is near the graveyard, well..."
Her head tilts slightly as she looks at her absence of a body.
"It didn't end well for me, let's say. I'm still not sure what happened there - some kind of accident, I think."
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Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again (Read 562475 times)