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[killerhellhound]

Yorrismund, Ancient Barbarian Attorney.

I am getting out of this either the same or better than when I entered it. Even if I have to sue the gods themselves. 

When you win argue that your body was much better then it was to get a better replacement
I hope you wind up sueing the gods just for the awesome factor
Damn ninja GM

[Gamerlord]

"Yes. And your agent here violated that purpose by allowing chaotic emotions to overcome him. He destroyed several homes when I defied him, a strong display of rage that harmed those who had done no wrong. Anyway, you have not followed the way of order by subverting the meanings of words and working through technicalities. In this situation I am a greater force of order than you, for I am trying to upold the letter of the law. There is a case for undead to be to liable under this law, but it does not apply to me because I predate said law and was never informed of it. And there is no way for you to know why I do things."

[Spinal_Taper]

Darren was distressed by that. It was too bad they had to die, really, but they kind of deserved it. Now, what could he do with the body...
Armor the body, put a big scary sword in it's hand too. Await our next guest.

[killerhellhound]

"Yes. And your agent here violated that purpose by allowing chaotic emotions to overcome him. He destroyed several homes when I defied him, a strong display of rage that harmed those who had done no wrong. Anyway, you have not followed the way of order by subverting the meanings of words and working through technicalities. In this situation I am a greater force of order than you, for I am trying to upold the letter of the law. There is a case for undead to be to liable under this law, but it does not apply to me because I predate said law and was never informed of it. And there is no way for you to know why I do things."

I suggest that you ask at the end by the way what is the golden rule? to find out what it is
Mark gets some legs and finally replaces the acid eroded stumps of his legs

[Harry Baldman]

In the Lower Court of the Five Gods...

Yorinnsud is determined to fight this horribly unjust verdict he has been given by any verbal means necessary! He snitches on his kind guide, then attempts to argue that he is a greater force of order than this court and that they're completely out of order in this case!

[Lower Judge reaction roll: 5-1]

"We do not care if you believe that you are a greater force of order or not, that's your own business. What we are interested in is keeping mortals in line. And you are clearly not in line, talking back like you are. So it is our job to relentlessly crush you until you are either dead or normalized, or exile you if you wish. I'm afraid that I can't- wait a minute, did you say your guide set fire to a house?"

Yorinnsud nods affirmatively. He adds that the guide set fire to several houses, actually! Who knows how many men, women, children and puppies could have been hurt!

"You lying snitch! It wasn't several houses! One, at best!"

The Lower Judge taps her fingers irritatedly at the podium.

"Well, crap. Do you realize what you've done, herald? You've gone and confessed to a conduct violation. Now I have to take you to the Higher Court to be processed immediately and this fine fellow here will have to wait here in this dinghy room for us to come back and kill him dead."

"You think I might lose my sword?" the herald says, glancing hatefully at Yorinnsud.

"You very well might. But more on that later. Right now, we have to figure out what to do with this mortal."

She stares at Yorinnsud for a few moments. It's definitely not a very friendly stare.

"Don't go anywhere. We'll be back to execute you in due time," she says calmly after her deliberation. Both her and the herald's images then shatter in front of Yorinnsud's eyes, their owners presumably reappearing in the Higher Court, though what that might be like Yorinnsud can only begin to imagine.


Inside a Velusian treasure room...

Having nothing better to do, Darren decides to mess around with the charred corpse of the dead looter. He attempts to find something to armor him with!

[Search roll: 1]

It turns out that Velusians don't believe in armor, Darren guesses, because there are exactly zero pieces of it in this little treasure vault. And the only piece of clothing is the suit that has a hole the size of a bowling ball burnt in it. There is plenty of silver and gold around, though. For all the good that'll do him. And it looks like the two looters, currently busy staring at a zombie outside, have made off with most of the scary-looking swords.


Next to a skeletal exhibit...

Mark walks on his hands until he reaches the exhibit and proceeds to attempt to pilfer some legs!

[Leg pilfering roll: 5]

He pulls off the legs of a very nice and strong-looking skeleton and attempts to attach them to where his old legs were!

[Attachment roll: 3]

He sort of attaches them, but he lacks any sort of binding material to make sure they stay there. They also hardly move for him. How unfortunate.

[Gamerlord]

Look around. Test the limits of this pathetic body.

[anailater]

Time to try out my hammer I presume...
Shark hammer, meet door.

[Harry Baldman]

Time to try out my hammer I presume...
Shark hammer, meet door.

It's open already. And there are two looters in the way.

[anailater]

(( Ok then. ))
Shark hammer meet looter legs

[TopHat]

About 20 pages into a chapter and nobody's dead yet? What sort of madness is this?

[Gamerlord]

I may not be far off. All depends on how good my fast-talking is. I fully expect a lawyer perk if I survive this chapter.

[anailater]

(( I've been getting incredibly close to my re demise, including but not limited to, fucked up gravity, pissed off mages, body chair modification and divine retribution. I am the both the luckiest and unluckiest zombie in history, we don't know what I am until it happens, I am the  Schrödinger's zombie! ))

[Gamerlord]

Hey! I am currently a zombie head on a stick figure body who's at trial for breaking a law I knew nothing about. Right now I'm FAR unluckier than you.

[Harry Baldman]

In the hall of the Lower Court of the Five Gods...

Yorinnsud looks around the room. There appear to be four exits including the one he entered through and none of them look particularly foreboding or anything, just a tad bureaucratic and stifling. Not a bad set of choices if he wants to make a run for it. While pondering his options, he practices his movements and gets a feel for his new form.

[Intelligence roll: ?]

Oh dear gods, this body is great! Far superior to the old one. It feels so light and stick-like, Yorinnsud can't help but love it. He feels like he could take on the world with this body, and he's probably not wrong in thinking so!


Next to a Velusian treasure vault...

It only takes a moment for Luke to realize that he really should kill these foolish looters for their delicious loot. It's the rules. When a looter meets another looter, they must immediately engage in mortal combat for each other's sweet loot.

[Luke vs. Looter 1: 2+2 vs. 2]

He swings his hammer, the shark head of it biting a chunk out of the looter's thigh! The looter is less than thrilled by this.

[Looter 1 endurance roll: 5]

He remains standing (and cursing)! Both looters begin to magically gesture at him!

[Looter 1 magic roll: 4]
[Looter 3 magic roll: 3]

Two spheres of light and heat, one spitball-sized and the other golf ball-sized, are launched at him point-blank!

[Dodge roll: 2-1]

They pierce his wooden body in several rather painful places, the golf ball of energy piercing his head and destroying one of his eyes! Good gods almighty, that hurts! It's time for these guys to die painfully, he believes.

[Luke vs. Looter 1: 5+2 vs. 4]

He gives the impudent energy launcher a bash across the knee, the shark-head tearing out one of his knee joints and chomping on it in a highly disgusting manner!

[Looter 1 endurance roll: 5]

The looter drops to the ground, but does not give up yet!

[Looter 1 magic roll: 3]
[Looter 3 magic roll: 2]

Luke feels a hot pin of energy sail through his chest. This doesn't really bother him as he continues his assault on these people's limbs.

[Luke vs. Looter 1: 2+2 vs. 2-1]

And there goes the other knee joint. The looter is now essentially legless!

[Looter 1 endurance roll: 3]

The looter, having held on bravely so far, seems to be on the verge of fainting from pain and blood loss and definitely in no shape to do magic anymore.

[Looter 3 magic roll: 5]

A baseball-sized energy projectile launches itself toward Luke from the last looter's hands!

[Luke dodge roll: 6-1]

Luke manages to dodge it nicely, though! The projectile flies into the wall, burning a very deep hole.

[anailater]

Ye but apart from that you've been quite lucky, you even found people who spoke your language, also i think that you should be aloud to worship your god, i have a feeling that these two aren't angels at all, they are minions of the demon of lies!