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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 563320 times)

killerhellhound

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2250 on: January 11, 2013, 08:48:56 am »

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fluttershy jumps onto TCM, giving him a hug. "~Yay~"*Player TCM has left the server. Reason: HHHHNNNNNGGGG-

We Madmen are very ingenious.  Sometimes it just takes just a little less sanity to pull off something completely awesome.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2251 on: January 11, 2013, 10:38:07 am »

In the Bradford Mausoleum, the lair of Bernie von Glautzenheiser...

The mausoleum seems especially damp this year, Bernie thinks as he sits in one of the chairs in his lab. He's had a lot of good times in this festering tomb, as has his sister. All those long nights spent looking at corpses, slicing corpses, moving corpses, putting corpses in funny positions for laughs, throwing parties for his favorite corpses and their corpse-friends. He gets a bit teary-eyed just thinking about what he's about to do next.

He sighs disappointedly. He had felt four of his minions escape his soul binding the past few days. Sending those idiots to Lake Victory was a terrible idea from the very start, he realizes. Besides, there was no real guarantee that his ritual would have worked, anyway. Oh well. Time for plan B.

He snaps his fingers and finds himself in the familiar locale of Great Hope Graveyard. Hopefully there'll be more unfortunate schmucks around here to exploit and abuse for his own ends. Seems like that's all his minions are good for anymore. Too bad that fellow with the axe went missing. He was the only competent one of the lot besides maybe the freak. Hopefully this batch will turn out better.

End of Chapter 3!

Congratulations! Two minions, Timothy and Vincent have successfully survived Chapter 3 and, as such, get to choose between three marvelous perks each!

Vincent: Proper Adventurer, True Survivor, Artifact Expert.

Timothy: Flight of the Banshee, Heroic Soul, Power Familiarity.



Chapter 4
In With The Right Crowd

As Bernie wanders through the rows of graves and mass-graves in the Great Hope Graveyard, he observes that there seem to be absolutely zero undead around.Blasted things seem to have wandered off somewhere. It's really getting irritating now.

Having very little other choice, Bernie takes out a dangerous-looking whistle from his pocket. After glancing around a few times, he blows the thing, and the sound that comes out is nothing short of utterly terrifying, seemingly spreading for miles before finally dissipating. If anybody was still around, they probably heard it.

Luckily for Bernie, there are indeed people still around! One such person is Luke Arnold, layabout extraordinaire. It disrupts his carefully plotted, though utterly pointless routine of listless wandering around an empty clearing of the woods, which Luke finds to be quite a worrisome disturbance. He perks up as much as he is able, which isn't a whole lot, considering that he's a zombie, and begins to shamble over to the source of the hellish tonal atrocity that he just heard!

However, poor old Luke is not the only one who heard the horrid call echo through the nearby woods. A certain fellow going by the name of Darren Derrious also heard the fateful sound, and he is no less intrigued. Maybe that guy who picks people up is back. That would be great. They're mostly stuck here killing adventurers that try to eliminate the undead infestation, anyway, so it's not like they have anything better to do. He floats over in the direction of the sound to take a quick look.

Equally sick of all the adventurers is the unfortunate Tom, though he has very little to say about his predicament that has not already been phrased better by less-skeletonized people. All he knows is that hellish sounds might be, contrary to all conventional intuition, a good sign, considering that he seems to be part of the forces of darkness now whether he likes it or not. Oh well, what are you gonna do? Forces of darkness and hellish sounds it is. Tom quickens his pace and tries to avoid making too much of a commotion, lest a rampaging undead-slayer spot him.

Strangest of all, however, are the happenings in a nearby bog. It happens occasionally that people underestimate the power of mass-raising spells. You see, while they do indeed expect the dead to rise from their graves, they sometimes have a very narrow definition of what a grave might truly be. In Yorinnsud Molocksson's case, a grave can be anywhere, really. Even a bog. Especially a bog, in fact. You see, where most bodies rot away, lose their bones and eventually turn to dust, Yorinnsud has managed to keep his stunning good looks and has obtained a dark brown tan to boot, and it's all thanks to a fine fellow that chose to stab him in the back and let him fall right into a veritable soup of ingredients that turned out to be just right to preserve him in a sleep of a thousand years! In fact, there are only two downsides to this. Firstly, he's been dead for over a thousand years. Secondly, he didn't so much rise from the grave more than a week ago as he just began furiously rolling around.

What he found out was that peat was much more resilient that he had ever given it credit for. It has taken him the better part of a week to actually loosen the layer of earth above him sufficiently to get out, and he has been questioning his sanity for the most of it, but he is confident that in only a few hours he'll-DEAR GODS, WHAT IS THAT SOUND?

Yorinnsud bursts from the ground with a mighty push that could only have come from an incredibly startled mummified zombie! His emaciated form bursts from the ground, rusted piece of crap greatsword in hand! He stands around for a moment and considers his surroundings. Upon finding them to be totally unfamiliar, he leaves to find the source of that helpful noise that helped guide him to freedom!

Meanwhile, a former and formerly dead mercenary by the name of Mark MeatWagon of the Yelmondshire MeatWagons is wandering and pondering his questionable lifestyle choices. Like the pineapple thing. Especially the pineapple thing. What was he thinking, really? Difficult to say. However, it is definitely one of the things he'd rather forget, though images like that tend to prove persistent even in death. He would know, after all.

Fortunately, his vile thoughts are interrupted by the sound of what is probably the whistle of the Demon of Pain himself, and if it isn't, it probably should be. Thankful to his lucky stars, he seeks out the source of the noise, having little else to do with his unlife right now! As he reaches the center of the graveyard, he spots the necromancer standing around with four other undead around him. How strange! He should probably investigate. No way this could be dangerous, right?

As he approaches, the necromancer turns and looks at him!

"Hm, another one. Well, I suppose you'll do. Need all the help I can get and all."

"Uh, help for what?"

"You'll see."

He looks at each of the undead intently, then at Mark! He then says a few words, which feel like a red-hot steel cage closing around his mind! Something tells Mark this probably isn't a good sign.

"Okay, you're now soulbound, so you're obligated to serve me and protect me. If anybody has a problem with that, raise your hands and I'll do my very best to address your complaint."

He smiles warmly at his new minions, which doesn't really work too well due to his natural levels of facial creepiness and unpleasant complexion. His teeth also seem somewhat poorly cared for, being rather yellowish and crooked.
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2252 on: January 11, 2013, 10:44:02 am »

((Earlier (i think it was chapter 2, towards the end.) you explicitely said that Bernie can't feel when his minions die. I don't forget.))

((Oh, I nearly forgot.

First.))

((SAAAANNNSSSS))

((Oh, and I love the Prequel reference. It was a prequel reference.))

((So much to say, so much time ;_;))

((How does the waitlist look?))
« Last Edit: January 11, 2013, 10:51:49 am by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

anailater

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2253 on: January 11, 2013, 10:57:57 am »

"God damn it.., what you needin' then?"
Listen to nerdy necromancers!
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2254 on: January 11, 2013, 11:18:40 am »

((Earlier (i think it was chapter 2, towards the end.) you explicitely said that Bernie can't feel when his minions die. I don't forget.))

Clearly I did. Well, how about this explanation: it's a very faint sensation, so you'd have to be looking for it to actually feel it. And maybe he set up certain safeguards to warn him of his minions' death, considering how ridiculously dangerous Lake Victory is. And maybe I didn't just make that up to explain a plot contrivance. But it does make a bit of sense, no?

((How does the waitlist look?))

It's in the second post. Take a look and tell me if you see anyone that should be on there missing.

((Oh, and I love the Prequel reference. It was a prequel reference.))

You'll have to explain that one to me, though.
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miauw62

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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Onyxjew944

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2256 on: January 11, 2013, 05:27:37 pm »

Wait to hear whatever the necromancer has in mind for us. Proceed to pretend that I care and will actually perform the task.
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Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2257 on: January 11, 2013, 05:44:46 pm »

I'll take True Survivor.
Fly up and get the Torus and chase after those villagers.
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Spinal_Taper

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2258 on: January 11, 2013, 08:41:55 pm »

Darren frowned.
"Shucks. Well, can you tell us what we're going to be doing at least?"
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Gamerlord

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2259 on: January 11, 2013, 09:50:14 pm »

Attempt to communicate my curiosity at this strange place (there being no such thing as a graveyard thousands of years ago) in my language.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2260 on: January 12, 2013, 05:54:36 am »

In the Great Hope Graveyard...

After hands fail to go up at the mention of enslavement at the hands of a creepy guy in a graveyard, Bernie looks somewhat satisfied. That is, until Yorinnsud decides to try and engage him in pleasant conversation.

[Communication roll: 5]

"A-kherza zethapa-ka? Fazkala-khe zep-thom?"

Bernie is totally surprised at this development!

"Holy crap, is that...? I think it is!"

Bernie clears his throat, then speaks to Yorinnsud.

"Uh... damn, I'm rusty at this, let's see... zu-khaza-latris. Ze-khaza-itris. Gaz-khizli-zurit, phaza-latris-ze. Zu-gozo-ze, za-gozo-Blacklands. Zu-pozok, zu-yaza."

Demons of entropy, it's near-impossible to tell what he's saying! That accent is absolutely horrible!

The rest of the undead look at the exchange curiously. Well, except Tom, who is merely feigning interest and attentiveness.

[Tom fakery roll: 5]

Fortunately, years of practice have made him rather good at this sort of thing. Despite the fellow having no eyes, he looks totally engrossed in Bernie's clumsy rendition of the Ancient Tongue, almost hanging on his every word with utter subservience! As Yorinnsud is trying to make sense of what the terrible fellow just said, Bernie turns back to the others.

"Right, let's go. You have a very important task ahead of you."

Darren looks rather sour about the whole business, to tell the truth.

"Shucks. Well, can you tell us what we're going to be doing at least?"

"You will serve as my minions, obviously."

Luke gazes at Bernie disappointedly! That sounds like work!

"Goddammit... what you needin', then?"

"All sorts of things, murder and theft primarily among them. Well, that and courier work. Now that you're informed, let's get down to business."

He snaps his fingers and there is a sound of exactly seventeen candles being extinguished in a waterfall. After a blinding flash of light, all five of the minions suddenly find themselves in... a town? There seems to be no one around. Considering that the town seems rather well-developed, this is strange.

"We're here ahead of time. Excellent! Absolutely brilliant. I suppose we get to call dibs on the best digs, then. Let's see..."

He takes a look around.

[Bernie choice roll: 2]

"That luxury inn looks great to me, how about you? Just a rhetorical question, mind you, I couldn't give any less of a crap about your personal opinions. Let's go. I will explain slightly later."

The undead, not really having much of a say in the matter, follow him into the inn. It is indeed quite a wonderful-looking place, with lots of luxurious stained-glass windows, huge double doors and, of course, great furnishings all around. Seems like a very nice place to spend the night, probably cost a lot to build this. Wonder why it's abandoned.

"You might wonder why this place is abandoned, as well as the entire town. Well, there's a very good reason. You see, in less than a day, the entire region will be overrun with bloodthirsty wizards out to kill one another."

"That doesn't sound good. Why would that happen?"

"Ah, that is precisely the reason we are here. You see, we are in Emlocke, one of the villages in the Blacklands, the area that belongs to the ancient order of mages known as the Black Circle of Magic. Considering that each and every one of the villagers was a servus, it was a simple matter to send them all out in preparation for the coming event, the event in question being the Great Selection."

"And that would be...?"

"You see, the Black Circle of Magic is a group of twenty people. mostly hideously old farts, possessing vast quantities of magical artifacts, tomes and other odds and ends from a time when you could find vastly powerful magical artifacts on sale in an underground empire of crabs or some such nonsense. As such, access to their stores of knowledge and artifacts is prized indeed. However, all of them are powerful mages, and they don't feel like opening up their magical fortress for just about anyone to wander in and grab a handful of reality-busting knick-knacks. So the only way for anyone to get in is to become a member of the Circle, which is only possible under certain circumstances. This is why we're here."

"Not two weeks ago, a member of the Circle died in his sleep, as hideously old farts are wont to do. This left an opening in the Black Circle, which, by ancient custom, is to be filled in a process known as the Great Selection. It sounds really mysterious and all, but rest assured, it's mostly a free-for-all among mages of all kinds, from ruthless to saintly, from young to old, from intelligent to rock-stupid. In about a day, the entire area about 20 miles around the Tower of the Black Circle will be walled off, and anyone inside will remain here until only one willing candidate is left. Sure, this can be achieved peacefully through the others surrendering, but usually it is resolved with grisly violence that destroys most of the nearby landscape, and I bet this time will be no different."

"So, you have about a day to steal what you need and fortify this place. Then the party gets started. Our objective is to kill or otherwise neutralize any mage inside the region who's trying to win this. I want to get into the Black Circle of Magic, and you're going to make sure I do. Is that clear? Consider that an order."

The undead feel the order take effect in their minds. It is a most unpleasant sensation. Bernie turns to Yorinnsud, who has been staring vacantly at him this entire time.

"Zu-gozo. Zu-kazok. Zu-gozo-er-itris. Zu-lus-pozok. Zu-deze-kara-lus-yaza."

Yorinnsud looks at him with a perplexed expression. Bernie sighs and points outside.


Meanwhile, next to a tree with a dangerous artifact lodged in it...

Vincent, feeling rather lively, decides to use his wings to fly up!

[Flying roll: 4]

He soars up and swoops along the tree, looking for his torus!

[Search roll: 4]

It takes him a short while, but he finds it eventually and snatches it out of the tree, sticking it on the staff while holding it with his legs! In but a very short while, he has a complete murdering setup ready once more! He then proceeds to look for more people to murder!

[Search roll: 4]

Fortunately, being able to fly confers a sufficient advantage to Vincent that he has very little problem finding a horde of panicked villagers fleeing and yelling about something! Yeah, they're not getting away any time soon. He leisurely flies above the bastards, enjoying the view and delicious taste of their fear.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2013, 06:03:16 am by Harry Baldman »
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anailater

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2261 on: January 12, 2013, 09:45:38 am »

"Couldn't' Someone theoretically win by taking a good food stock and waiting for the others to starve? Anyway I'll go look for wood for boarding the Windows."
Go look for wood and then look for nails.
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At best it's a pool of ink thats here for no reason; at worst it's a puddle of hateful alien death penises that want to murder-rape you into chunks.
So how are you today?

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2262 on: January 12, 2013, 10:06:50 am »

Inside the new lair of Bernie...

Luke has an uncharacteristically bright idea and decides to present it to Bernie!

"Couldn't someone theoretically win by taking a good food stock and waiting for the others to starve?"

"You could, if you had a hiding spot impervious to divination and more food than you could get from hunting the surrounding countryside's animals, of which there are quite a few. Hiding is a tactic that's frequently used in conjunction with ambushes. Some try to win by opportunistically killing strong foes after they fight each other, and I'm sure at least one of the mages of the Circle got their position this way."

"Uh, okay. Anyway, I'll go look for wood for boarding up the windows."

"Go for it."

Encouraged by Bernie's words, Luke goes out looking for wood!

[Search roll: 2]

After twenty minutes of searching, he is forced to conclude there isn't any around! Well, maybe somebody left nails around here. You never know.

[Search roll: 5]

It turns out nails are far easier to find around here, as there is an entire crate of them near the blacksmith's shop! There's all sorts of nails in there, big and small. All the nails a man could possibly need in times of crisis! Too bad there aren't any boards or just miscellaneous lumber lying around.
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Onyxjew944

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2263 on: January 12, 2013, 10:45:35 am »

"Joy. I'm involved in a free-for-all deathmatch between all the most powerful shut-ins in the entire realm. Each of which can bend and break the laws of reality at will. Whatever would mother say at such a development?"

Go to the aforementioned smithy and find a weapon. Preferably a bastard sword, and preferably a magical one. If that fails, make a non-magical one myself.
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anailater

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 4: In With The Right Crowd
« Reply #2264 on: January 12, 2013, 11:03:32 am »

Try to knock some wood out of a building THAT IS NOT THE INN for use as boards.
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At best it's a pool of ink thats here for no reason; at worst it's a puddle of hateful alien death penises that want to murder-rape you into chunks.
So how are you today?
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