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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 557229 times)

Xanmyral

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8805 on: February 09, 2014, 07:46:13 pm »

[I'd prefer to call it pragmatism.]

Xantalos

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8807 on: February 09, 2014, 09:01:07 pm »

Attempt to attach claw thing to myself.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8808 on: February 10, 2014, 02:45:29 pm »

Inside the Temple of Velusius...

Kevin, with the instinct of adventure awakening within him, begins to check for hidden doors and knobs to pull in this joint. He can't seem to locate any, though. They must be cleverly hidden rather than in plain sight, he deduces, which significantly complicates things on his end. Lacking the ability to see any secret doors, he attempts to smell them, but succeeds in only catching a scent that reminds him of a grave - and he would know, he has been in one recently.

His next step is to try and listen for some hidden knobs, but they, being hidden and knoblike, do not make any sound, further confounding the ex-jester. He opens his mouth and tastes the air, but that similarly avails him nothing. These doors are definitely rather well hidden, he thinks.


In a dark room...

Timothy, though definitely in a place he doesn't like, still tries to be friendly with whatever hobgoblins and bugbears may dwell in the terrible, endless darkness of the room.

"...Hello?" he asks, his voice quavering a little. Nothing answers, however. Possibly because he's not speaking the right language and/or doesn't have the right amount of tongues to communicate with boogeymen, or maybe because no one's around. Hoping he's not imposing on some eldritch demon's personal space, he tries to explore the room - it's pretty empty aside from some overturned furniture, or at least that's what he guesses that irregularly shaped stuff might be, and there's also a staircase - Timothy presumes it leads upward, because the alternative would mean he's taken a very wrong turn someplace.


At the shipwreck-rich beach of Mothdale...

Sigmund, not eager to spend the rest of his day in a tomb of his own broken dreams and failed ambitions, tries to dig himself out.

[Sigmund's strength roll: 3-1]

He promptly begins to regret the grand domed wooden ceiling he installed in his tent before its untimely and hideous demise at the hands of the elements. His only hope right now is Scott, which is a fact one may very well equate with a loss of most reasonable hopes for rescue.

~we can send someone to help if needed!~

Meanwhile, Scott abandons his own hopes of not being the hideous, burnt, misshapen floating freak of nature he currently is and tries to test the range of his abilities.

[Scott's firestarting roll: 5]

Concentrating on the furthest shipwreck, a rather fancy mail runner if Scott's ever seen one, which he actually hasn't, the hovering lump manages to summon up fire across a distance of hundreds of meters, which is a pretty amazing result if you take the events of the past hour or so into consideration. The ship immediately bursts into flames, the sails immediately combusting, fragments of sailcloth raining all over the deck. The ship doesn't burn as well as Scott would have hoped, but it definitely is on fire now, which is very good. Feelings of competence and magical might overwhelm him - he wonders if this is what those Black Circle mages feel like after a good day's work.


In the streets of Mothdale...

Morton has put the less enjoyable parts of the day behind him by this point, and bravely forges ahead at the behest of the gub.

~Very well then, good group Gub, I'd be more than happy to help. I'm sure good jester Kevin is in good hands and good health.~

~you are sure about all the right things, morton! it is very convenient!~

~If you wouldn't mind, perhaps after I clean the tavern could I head back onto my group's ship? I made some tea on there that I'd like to check on, although I suppose by now it may have gone bad... Ah, that would be a dreadful shame if so. I was hoping to surprise Justine, Captain, and Scott with it. Oh, do don't tell them of that if you would, I'd like to keep it at least a bit of a surprise. How long was I incapacitated?~

~you were out for three days, we will not tell anyone about your enchanted tea, and we will point you in the right direction once you are done with the tavern!~

Having received a fresh, gently steaming heap of promises from the gub, Morton follows their directions to a tavern - a dinghy joint called the Dancing Fly. As it turns out, the name is awfully descriptive - the air has a sense of thickness about it, with flies dancing within mostly around the three corpses - one presumably young, though a little maggoty and repeatedly stabbed woman and two somewhat fresh, yet unspeakably mangy, mangled and hairy people of uncertain gender lying around on the floor in poses so silly, you just know that they probably actually died like that. Well, either that or somebody in this town has a true artistic calling in life that seems to be humorous corpse positioning (a calling that they've chosen to embrace in a third-class tavern of all places, no less), which is altogether too saddening for Morton to contemplate, so he doesn't.

Beyond the colorful surface impression given off by the swarm of flies, the mess of bodies on the floor and the signs of struggle that seem to have left no chair untoppled Morton finds that this looks to have been quite the disreputable and deleterious establishment even before somebody decided to kick off what must have been the beginning of a respectable killing spree inside here. This clearly wasn't the sort of place one went into, ordered an ale and had a ripping good time with one's chums - rather, this would be the sort of joint one walked into, gave their best shot at drinking themselves to death, then shuffled out into the streets when no kind gentlemen with blunt objects and an urgent need for money volunteered to put one out of their misery. Fortunately for Morton, this sort of establishment is hardly ever short on cleaning supplies, given the volume of vomit and ichor that is best not identified that rolls in over time, and soon he has located a mop, a selection of rags, a bucket and other odds and ends for removing filth from its natural habitat, plus a well out back that contains water which makes Morton glad he can't get thirsty, lest he be forced to let the liquid get too close to whatever sensitive membranes he may or may not have.


In a mostly empty room...

Niklas is intrigued by the clawlike object - it is an implement worthy of addition to his glorious form. His chair leg goes for the tool greedily, proving sufficient against all odds to capture this latest treasure. And though he believes he may be able to utilize this marvelous contraption with only one hand, he also knows that you're nobody until you can perform impromptu bodily modifications without regard for any consequences.

[Niklas' impromptu bodily modification roll: 2]

After an extended session of probing, poking, pushing, pulling, spanking, punching, kicking, fluting, huffing, puffing, caressing and aimless questing that makes Niklas discover many new things about himself, he realizes that, while this tool definitely has its uses, 'prosthetic limb' isn't one of them regardless of how much he might wish for the opposite to be true. He does find out that the use it is most practical for seems to be holding it in your hand and reaching places you can't get to due to reasons of being a silly half-pint who really should know better than to want to get to high places both in a metaphorical and a literal sense.
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Tomcost

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8809 on: February 10, 2014, 02:53:20 pm »

-Send... -Sigmund sighs- Send Mark, and probably someone else. Tell Mark to have body parts at hand.

Yoink

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8810 on: February 10, 2014, 03:18:43 pm »

Timothy wasn't about to go climbing up that ominous staircase, no sir.
He put on his game face, hovered cautiously forwards and pressed his intangible self into the wall of the stairwell with determination.

>Phase into the wall of the staircase and follow the stone upwards from the other side, so as not to encounter whatever may lurk upstairs.

>Just keep flying upwards through the ground, using the stairs as a guide for as long as possible.
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Xantalos

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8811 on: February 10, 2014, 03:42:43 pm »

Begin whining about how I need a limb attached to my body capable of grasping things to be able to do anything while I draw up plans for how to make the tree into Tree Stew for the Soul:
1. Chop up tree until mulch.
2. Insert liquid (optional measure).
3. Immerse self in mulch and exude a single emotion very intensely for a period of 2 days. In Niklas' case, he'll choose glee. The emotion will soak into the food and imbue the eater with the emotion.
4. Insert whatever other ingredients you can find (in Niklas' case, bits of table, the floor, dirt, a fungus if he finds one, and several shards of metal; shattering the awl will do for this.
5. Shout at mixture for several hours while mixing it for effect.
6. Done!
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Innsmothe

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8812 on: February 10, 2014, 05:28:16 pm »

Scott will memorise the 'feelings' he gets as he weaves the magic, attempting to improve his sensitivity to the craft.
He will also try and see where that idiot companion of his wandered off too.

"Am I free to destroy any ships that stray into your waters...gub? Seriously, the group-think nomenclature is rather tiring, what do I call you as an individual?"
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"That which does not kill me, can only make me stranger." -Dana, Creator of Ozzy & Millie.

killerhellhound

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8813 on: February 10, 2014, 07:07:09 pm »

Mark snapped out of his musing by the Sigmund's call for aid (Relayed by Gub) grabs his Doctor bag some good quality body parts and sets off to fix him. (getting directions as he went)
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Xanmyral

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8814 on: February 11, 2014, 12:17:10 am »

Morton Cleans:
-Fill bucket with water from outside, heat, add soap/cleaning agent
-Set bodies outside (a good distance) along with broken furniture (much closer)1
-Set upright and clean unbroken furniture with rags and hot soapy water, clean corner and set aside there to dry.
-Clean windows on the inside so as to not have to clean the floors again afterwards.
-Clean floors, counters, etc.
-Set up clean unbroken furniture in proper or appropriate positions.
-Clean windows on the outside as a nice final touch, maybe the door as well if it is particularly dirty.


There's not much he could do with the flies now beyond move their food source and give them little to eat, they should move on in time.

1: ~Good group Gub, it seems some poor souls have passed in the establishment. Hopefully you have someone to ferry them to a graveyard or similar and see to their mortal coils being paid proper respect. The broken furniture can simply be tossed, I believe, although I could re-purpose them as firewood if wished.~

miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8815 on: February 11, 2014, 01:34:43 pm »

"Wait. Waaaaiiiiit."
Punch his face in the face.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2014, 02:29:23 pm by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Xanmyral

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8816 on: February 11, 2014, 02:25:25 pm »

[I gotta know, why are you punching the priest in the face? Some form of assisted suicide?]

miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8817 on: February 11, 2014, 02:28:40 pm »

((Pretty much. He is a priest of death, after all.))
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 6: Enjoying the Gub Life?
« Reply #8819 on: February 11, 2014, 03:37:31 pm »

At the shipwreck-rich beach of Mothdale...

Sigmund freely admits defeat, and calls for the aid of his good buddy Mark, his voice muffled by the warm, yet unyielding embrace of his ruined tent. As a particularly heavy piece of lumber he liberated off what must have been some sort of merchant ship threatens to make his precious stuffing spurt out of his ears in copious quantities, he hears something fleshy hit the ground nearby. And then the heavy load of his incredibly ugly wooden gargoyle facsimile is lifted off his chest, followed by the load of his improvised roof terrace following suit. And when most of the second floor is removed, Sigmund begins to once again regain that notoriously unreliable feeling that he's going to be alright after all. Fortunately, this feeling immediately fades when he spots the emotionless tree head of Mark regarding him through the hole he has dug down to find his gracious volunteer patient. Before Sigmund can say a word, Mark yanks him out from the rubble and shakes him in the air. When he notices that most of Sigmund's body seems to be flapping freely and at odd angles, he knows that some serious medicine is about to be done here.

[Mark's "medicine" roll: 6+1]

So serious, in fact, that he honestly guesses drastic measures will be needed. Fortunately, he has brought a whole cart full of corpses (they had those at the mortuary, which gladdened Mark's blackened and missing heart), so drastic measures are entirely affordable for him right now. He rolls the cart's wheel over Sigmund's foot so he doesn't have any second thoughts along the way, and begins his work. That dragon idea was pretty interesting, Mark thinks. He might have been on to something there, honestly. And now that he needs to help Sigmund, he has the motivation to resolve all those little design quibbles he had on his previous attempt.

Let's see... first there was the matter of the number of legs... his choices were two or four, so he guesses he'll go for the very nice compromise of eleven instead, because, as his mother always told him, anything with more than ten legs is bound to get somewhere in life. Then the wings - he supposes three pairs of batlike wings fashioned from human arms and skin would be sufficient, as long as he makes them big and scary-looking enough. As for the torso, well... he doesn't think the materials would lend themselves well to either lizards or serpents, so he once again compromises with a torso that resembles a three-meter-long furry leech complete with the necessary five eyes and nine ears spaced around its gaping, toothy, circular mouth. And though breathing fire seems impossible to achieve with his available materials, Mark does manage to add in a sort of giant bag connected to the mouth and a great number of muscles that can hopefully allow it to spit out whatever crap it has eaten. It takes quite a while for him to do all that, even while rushing a little, but eventually he's got a neat little dragon that's about the length of two cows and the height of a regular person. He looks back at Sigmund, who seems to have something between a pleading look of horror and a sad look of resignation on his face. Luckily, Mark's about to fix all his problems - he does so by cracking the fellow's skull open, becoming absolutely delighted when he spots a nice-looking white orb within which he removes immediately. When this causes Sigmund to cease all signs of unlife, Mark knows he's doing something right. He carries the orb over to the new body and plops it inside one of the handy skulls he incorporated into the body of the design, then seals the whole thing up quite tight. And with that done, he quickly skins the remains of Sigmund's previous body and collects the hide for later use - never know when you might need to make something reddish-purple and fancy-looking, after all.

From Sigmund's perspective, that last part is mostly just a very long moment of horror and darkness that he spends clinging on to his dear unlife, followed immediately by the sudden realization that he is a hideous parody of a dragon created by a teammate who he shall henceforth never ask to do anything.

Scott, meanwhile, saw the entire operation from his rather privileged vantage point. The process is morbidly fascinating, to say the least, almost enough to make him forget the important realization he made that magic is probably best practiced when under the effects of a homicidal rage, as that's what most ghosts he's heard about, you know, the really fun and scary ones, seem to have gone with.


In a very dark room...

Timothy, finding nothing more obvious than the fact that there can be nothing good awaiting him at the top of that staircase, puts on his very best game face and tries an unorthodox ascension method - he phases into the stairwell and ascends, which the terrifying creatures above will presumably not expect. It does not take long before he reaches something intriguing - a corridor! Filled with sunlight! Obviously belonging to a regular, if seemingly abandoned house, at least as far as he can see from here. And there appear to be no frightening creatures in sight.

Then again, he hasn't turned around yet. In fact, this all seems like such good news, he's not sure he wants to, really. After all, there might be a pernicious fiend of some kind awaiting there to scare the living daylights out of him, which would, quite frankly, ruin the whole perfectly wonderful set of circumstances he's got going here.


In a mostly empty room...

Niklas, though the circumstances he finds himself in are unusual, resolves to make the best of it. After all, rule one of northern cuisine is that everything can be eaten and possibly enjoyed if you're drunk and angry enough! His first step, naturally, is to loudly whine about still having only one limb when it is clear that he probably needs two to do this as rightly and properly as possible. When that avails him nothing, he drafts up a proper plan for his newest masterpiece - an amazing stew made primarily of wood mulch to provide much glee to all who eat it. After forming a nice little wishlist of the things he needs, he notices that the room seems to be completely empty of any fungus, liquid and dirt, and also that the end table appears to be both made of reinforced steel and secured to the ground. And also that mulching a tree with an awl will take a very long time.

Still, none of those factors really make the plan impossible as such, they simply make it a bit unrealistic to achieve in a time period of less than a week or a week and a half.


Inside the Dancing Fly...

Morton, possessed of that good cleaning spirit, begins the process of transforming this awful place into a respectable establishment once again. First, he prepares some buckets of hot soapy water to help him vanquish the scourge of filth that has infested this place. Then he takes the next step, which is to remove the bodies and broken bits of furniture, which proves simple enough. When he warns the gub of the bodies' presence, he hears a nearby splash, and when he looks at where he left the bodies, he notices that they seem to have disappeared, a few bloody smudges and a couple of confused flies serving as the only testament that the putrid corpses were there in the first place.

The next important step is to clean the furniture - this proves to be not overly difficult as well as mostly quite enjoyable, and he places what furniture he's got left in a specially cleaned corner. The windows prove more of a challenge - the glass is of rather low quality, and has the unfortunate tendency to look quite dirty and slightly yellowed no matter how much one tries to clean it - still, Morton gives it his best shot, and they do look better than they did a half hour ago, certainly. The floor is similarly damaged and cheap-looking, something Morton can't really correct with a mere mopping, but he still manages to clean out all the viscera, dead flies, leftover maggots and all the other more disturbing elements of the decor, and also make the counter look respectable after what must have been a long lifetime spent in a most dishonorable state. After he puts the unbroken furniture back in place, he does have to admit that this place looks halfway presentable now. And when he cleans the windows from the outside as well, he can see how somebody may construe the visual impression of this establishment as indicative of decency levels as high as 50 percent.


Inside a temple of Velusius...

Kevin ponders the nature of this test as he sits on the floor. Obviously, the priest wants something of him, but what? Could it be-wait. No.

"Wait. Waaaaiiiiit," Kevin involuntarily vocalizes in what must have been a sudden epiphany. It can't really be that simple, can it? And yet there's a peculiar sort of elegance to it. Who would have seen a solution like that coming? It solves all of his problems while creating no new ones, the hallmark of truly correct answers. Left with no better choice, Kevin acts on the revelation that has struck him, winding up for a mighty punch that he then throws at his face. That is to say, at his own face, as his face seems to be the only face within this room that is both easily reachable and eminently punchable. He winds up a mighty punch while he isn't looking, hoping to catch himself unaware.

[Kevin vs. Kevin: 5-2+1 vs. 3+1-1]

His fist flies in an arc, smashing into his own face gracefully - he never saw it coming, it was so fast! His nose cracks painfully as the blow lands, and he falls to the ground on his back, both resplendent in his victory and ashamed for getting clocked across the snout like that by a rank amateur such as himself. The mixture of animalistic triumph and very human shame is breathtaking, he must say. Inspiring, even.

His broken nose definitely takes his mind off the rather poorly-contained chuckling he can hear from somewhere within this room, that's for sure.
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