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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 546341 times)

Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #750 on: November 13, 2012, 03:49:06 pm »

Sam's going to SUMMON A CANE AND CANE THAT MUTHAFUCKA LIKE NOBODIES CANE.
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #751 on: November 13, 2012, 05:34:08 pm »

Keep swinging randomly and proceed forward!
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #752 on: November 13, 2012, 07:01:37 pm »

Try to open one of the doors.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

Yoink

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #753 on: November 13, 2012, 07:49:55 pm »

((Oh, man! Samuel actually attempting to help that guy and causing death via cane- hilarious! :D))
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Gamerlord

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #754 on: November 13, 2012, 09:47:15 pm »

Six-Headed Three-Tailed Two-Legged Still Armless Three-Quarter-Snail?

What. The. FUCK.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #755 on: November 14, 2012, 12:59:40 am »

Inside the Magical Weaponry and Armor Department...

James tries to recover from his beaversnailgoated state!

[Will roll: 4+1]

He tells himself that soon he will be able to visit this horrible technique upon somebody else! He feels better! James now feels confident in his beaversnailgoating routine and attempts to utilize it against the man!

[Swordsman fear roll: 4]

The swordsman looks at James warily as he approaches, but takes no action!

[Beaversnailgoating: James vs. Swordsman: 2 vs. 3+1]

As James attempts to get close to the swordsman, the swordsman steps away calmly! Realizing that James definitely means him harm, he goes for a stab!

[Swordsman vs. James: 4+2 vs. 4]

He swings his blade in a an overhead arc, chopping off one of James' tails! Damn, that really hurts!


In a not-so-pitched battle elsewhere...

Samuel doesn't think ordinary skeletal (lack of) muscle will prove sufficient to battle this ghastly threat to his personal safety! It's magi-canin' time!

[Magic roll: 6]

He summons 8 canes from the nether realms which proceed to attack the poor fool that dared to compromise the sanctity of Samuel's ribcage!

[Cane 1 vs. Officer: 3+1 vs. 5+2-1]
[Cane 2 vs. Officer: 3+1 vs. 1+2-1]
[Cane 3 vs. Officer: 2+1 vs. 5+2-1]
[Cane 4 vs. Officer: 3+1 vs. 1+2-1]
[Cane 5 vs. Officer: 6+1 vs. 1+2-1]
[Cane 6 vs. Officer: 6+1 vs. 6+2-1]
[Cane 7 vs. Officer: 4+1 vs. 2+2-1]
[Cane 8 vs. Officer: 1+1 vs. 5+2-1]

The officer dodges many cane blows like a champ, taking a few hits and reeling occasionally, but nothing too bad. That is, until a certain cane whacks him straight in the back of the head!

[Officer endurance roll: 1]

His skull immediately caves in and he falls down on the ground, deader than a sackful of noblemen chucked into a dark alley!

[Cane mood roll: 4]

Having attained victory, the canes fade away!


In the midst of the Nabpie race...

Jordan strolls along and keeps swinging!

[Lucky axe swing roll: 4]

He grazes yet another Nabpie! That's some bit of luck.

[Encounter roll: 5]

He feels the Nabpies around him retreat, unwilling to be axed any more questions! Meanwhile, he also hears something from an area to the left!

[Perception roll: 2]

He can't really tell what it is, though!


Inside the Artifact Vault...

Vincent tugs on a random door!

[Security measures roll: 2]

Damn, locked. Better open it, then.

[Lockpicking roll: 1]

He attempts to pick the lock to the door, but jams the lock instead! Plan B, then?

[Strength roll: 5]

The door proves remarkably fragile as Vincent's kick essentially turns it to splinters! He walks inside!

The room itself features a bed, a wardrobe, a mirror, a bedside table, a large wooden chest and a bookcase! There is an expensive-looking carpet covering the otherwise unsightly wooden floor.
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Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #756 on: November 14, 2012, 08:25:28 am »

Loot the bookcase.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #757 on: November 14, 2012, 08:39:43 am »

Inside the room of someone or other...

Vincent is wise to the ways of wizards and immediately goes to loot the bookcase!

[Looting roll: 5]

He obtains vast quantities of books! Wonderful! There's all kinds of literature here! Most of it looks kind of filthy, though!
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #758 on: November 14, 2012, 11:12:47 am »

Go left!
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #759 on: November 14, 2012, 11:36:05 am »

Inside the Tomb of Nabpies...

Jordan decides to follow that noise! He goes left! The sounds seem to intensify!

[Perception roll: 3]

He can faintly discern certain words!

"... and that right there was a gammon..."

"... what's a..."

"... means you lost twice..."

... damn...

He soon arrives in a room illuminated with purplish light! Bernie is here, as is a filthy Nabpie! They appear to be playing a rousing game of backgammon!
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Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #760 on: November 14, 2012, 11:38:55 am »

Samuel will run towards some local fighter's guild or something, and show/tell/communicate to everyone that the demons are here! Canes, canes everywhere! People dying in the streets! Now is the time for heroes, for legends! Arise, ARISE! Meet your DESTINY!
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #761 on: November 14, 2012, 12:04:08 pm »

In a decreasingly populated area of town...

Samuel decides to look for true heroes to defeat his imaginary demonic invasion! He runs out and looks for a fighters' guild!

[Search roll: 6]

After ascertaining that no fighters' guild exists in whatever city this might be, Samuel runs to the next best thing: the guild of people who weigh salt and butter (nothing else, though)!

[Nonverbal persuasion roll: 6]

He launches into an incredibly violent-looking bit of interpretive dance! The guild can't help but join in! As Samuel swings his cane in a deadly dance, so do the weighers! Samuel heads out onto the street, conga line of agitators in tow!

[People reaction roll: 6]

Gee, they look like they're having a lot of fun! Soon the guilds of oil-weighers, cobblers, foreign merchants and chamberpot-emptiers join in, each using weapons of their own sort! Over two hundred people are now following directly after Samuel, destroying and everything on the way while they do so! The power of interpretive dance is great indeed, it seems.
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Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #762 on: November 14, 2012, 12:33:46 pm »

Samuel and his army will now march upon the palace! WE SHALL OVERTHROW THE DEMON-KING! NO TAXES FOR ANY MERCHANTS! HURRAH!


...Now I get 3 6's? Dammit.
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TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #763 on: November 14, 2012, 12:38:45 pm »

Pummel him with the rest of my tails!
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #764 on: November 14, 2012, 12:45:56 pm »

On the streets of... uh... whatever city this is...

Samuel leads his dancing army to the very gates of the palace! The partying citizens begin to besiege it without a second thought!

[Siege roll: 4]

The palace guards seem awfully surprised at the crowd that's gathered! They send out a single group of heavily-armed guards to meet the crowd!

"What is the meaning of-"

He is interrupted by dancing marauders!

[Crowd vs. Guards: 1+3 vs. 4+2]

Though the crowd draws perilously close, the guards manage to ward them off with spiky clubs!


Meanwhile, inside the Magical Weaponry and Armor Department...

James attempts to deliver a beating to the man using his two tails as improvised fists!

[James vs. Swordsman: 6 vs. 6+1]

He goes in for a furious assault, but the swordsman cleverly avoids him by taking a single step backwards!

[Swordsman vs. James: 5+2 vs. 4-1]

The swordsman slices off yet another of James' tails! Damn, soon he will have nothing to punch him with!
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