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[Harry Baldman]

On the streets of some unknown city...

Samuel attempts to fix his legs! Through CANE MAGIC, the most powerful force in the universe!

[Magic roll: 6]

His old legs explode in a cloud of bone shrapnel!

[Shrapnel roll: 2]

Several gawkers get pierced by the bone shards and fall down bleeding! However, Samuel is too busy looking at his brand new OAKEN CANE-LEGS! He gets up and runs after the carriage!

[Pursuit roll: 6+1]

He runs right up to the carriage and grabs on with his hands and teeth! He climbs to the top of the carriage and attacks the cabby!

[Samuel vs. Cabby: 1+1 vs. 2-1]

He lightly bonks the unsuspecting cabby on the head! The cabby turns!

"Eh, what's this?"

[Cabby distraction roll: 5]

The cabby turns back to negotiate a tricky turn with perfect precision, then repeats his question!

[Caerwyn]

Samuel will clack out, "I need to get inside the carriage." The cabby is obviously a demon in disguise, so he'll understand. Whether that or anything else happens, Sam will get in that carriage! And if that King guy is in there, slip the amulet on his neck.

CANES/

[Harry Baldman]

On a speeding carriage...

Samuel attempts to convey that he needs to get inside the carriage!

[Nonverbal communication roll: 6]

He puts on an amazing display that manages to perfectly explain exactly why he's here and what he's about to do! The cabby watches intently!

[Cabby reaction roll: 5]

"You're outta luck, good sir! The king wouldn't even step near a carriage as filthy as this one! This carriage enjoys the exclusive patronage of Count Johnson, broke gambler extraordinaire!"

"Shut it, you lout!"

"Or what, m'lord? You're too broke to arrange for my execution and you hire me because I'm the cheapest cabby in town!"

[Cabby distraction roll: 4-1]

The carriage goes off the center of the road, running over about 8 innocent civilians!

[TopHat]

Kill that *#%^ing Jungle Gym!

[Harry Baldman]

On the penultimate floor of the Tower of the Mind...

James tries to take out the Jungle Gym once more!

[James vs. Jungle Gym: 3+1 vs. 4+1]

The Jungle Gym somehow dodges expertly! Seriously, what the hell, mind?

[Jungle Gym vs. James: 1+1 vs. 1+2]

Even though James is standing around dumbfounded at his inability to hit a large steel cage, the Jungle Gym also chooses to procrastinate for now, beaming with satisfaction over its sweet moves!

[Inner Child vs. Jungle Gym: 6+1 vs. 5+1]

The Inner Child unleashes a furious assault of kicking and screaming at the Jungle Gym, slightly deforming its structure!

[TopHat]

Persuade the jungle gym that it couldn't possibly still be existing with all of the damage that it's taken.

[Harry Baldman]

Near a jungle gym that is proving quite tough to take down...

James, not entirely sure how to beat this thing, tries to persuade it of its nonexistence!

[Persuasion roll: 6-2]

The jungle gym appears to see James' point! It promptly dies of losing half its body mass, leaving behind an inanimate hunk of horribly mutilated metal bars!

"Thanks, James. You know, for your help, I'll just let you go to the top floor now. I don't like being a dick to people who've helped me out, despite what Perfection says. He's kind of a poopyhead, you know."

The door to the top floor opens up! James gets the feeling that something important might be up there!

[TopHat]

((hell yes for critical existance failure!))
Head to top floor.

[Caerwyn]

Samuel will tell the Cabby that there's a purse of coins if he gets him to the king. It is of the utmost urgency!

[Harry Baldman]

On the seventh floor of the Bastion of Mental Fortitude...

James, flush with success, decides to ascend to the top floor! He goes up the staircase and finds himself in a completely blank, blindingly white room! There is a desk with a chair here! A man sits at it. He looks like James, but somehow... immaculate. Perfect, even.

"You are finally here. Please, sit."

He motions to the only other chair in the room. Well, not really a chair. More of a stool, to be honest, and a rickety one at that.


On the speeding carriage of Baron Johnson...

Samuel tries to persuade the cabbie to take him to the king!

[Nonverbal communication roll: 5]

Samuel mimics a crown on his head and gestures questioningly!

"You want... the king?"

Samuel nods!

[Cabbie knowledge roll: 2]

"Well, I'm not sure where you would find him. Nobody ever talks about the king's residence. Even when the king's visiting. I think there was some kind of ruckus a short while ago about it... or was that last year? I don't know."

[Cabbie distraction roll: 2-1]

"Wait, I think I've got-"

He can't really finish the sentence as the carriage misses a turn and flips over, slamming into a nearby townhouse!

[Samuel landing roll: 6+1]
[Cabbie landing roll: 2]
[Baron Johnson landing roll: 1]

Samuel leaps off the carriage and through a nearby window, smashing through a set of wooden shutters! He hears the sound of the carriage getting smashed to pieces! He looks outside!

Oh my. The Baron appears to have been trapped inside the carriage and crushed quite gorily. The cabbie seems to have smashed against the cobbled street and is bleeding quite nastily!

[Cabbie endurance roll: 6]

The cabbie gets up, still bleeding, and staggers over to the carriage! He quickly loots the deceased baron and unsteadily proceeds to a nearby pub!

"WHEEE! GUESS WHO'S HAVING FUN TONIGHT!"

[Homeowner roll: 6]

An ancient individual comes up from behind Samuel!

"Hey there, youngster! Why are you dropping in on my house like that? It's dreadfully impolite, you know."

[TopHat]

Stand, ask what this is all about.

[Harry Baldman]

On the top floor of the Tower of the Mind...

James chooses to refuse the other James' offer! He remains standing!

[Perfect James reaction roll: 5]

"That's... impolite. I have killed for less. Well, no matter. I'm sure you'd like to know what this is all about, right?"

"Right."

"Well, you see, this was all a test. A test to see how you would react to the various sides of your diseased mind taking you on in various ways. We had your inner vampire, your feminine side, your inner hatred, your fear, your borderline insanity, your inner child and, of course, me."

"Who are you?"

"I am your need for perfection. I am what drives you to gain knowledge, to survive. To claim victory in the great game of undeath."

"And how am I supposed to get past you?"

"You need to surpass perfection itself. You need to best me in a game of your choice."

James considers this for a while!

[TopHat]

I challenge you in a contest of imperfectness!

[Harry Baldman]

On the top floor of the Tower of the Mind...

James, after considering things he could beat the embodiment of perfection at, comes to a staggering idea!

"Mr. Perfect?"

"Yes?"

"I challenge you to a contest of imperfection!"

[Reaction roll: 5]

"A contest of imperfection? Okay."

"I'll start - Exhibit A: my face is stolen and horribly stitched together by a woodland maniac."

"Well, my face is..."

"Perfect, is it not?"

"I do believe it is, yes. Oh dear."

"I'll start - Exhibit B: I am hated by one of the gods and wanted by his minions for blasphemy. What about you?"

"Well, I know better than to mess with gods."

"Because you're perfect, yes."

"Indeed I am."

"Exhibit C: I obtained the curse of vampirism from a pig that bit me because I attempted to steal its piglets. What about you?"

"I knew better than to buy pigs from shady magical traveling merchants. Alright, you've made your point. I suppose you can go."

"Yippee! Reality, sweet reality!"

The triumph of victory is almost enough for James to forget any feelings of inadequacy! A glowing gate in the wall opens! James thinks he could step right through it!

[TopHat]

Remember feelings of inadequacy. Ask perfect me if the portal thing leads to reality. Being perfect he cannot lie! Go through it if he says yes.