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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 557119 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #300 on: November 03, 2012, 06:23:49 am »

((Sort of, you get the defensive and offensive bonuses from wielding a halberd. However, you are far from proficient with your new body.))

In the deep, dark caves untouched by the light of the sun...

Leon, on the ground and faced with a whole lot of monster to kill before the day is done, goes stabbity-stab at it!

[Leon vs. Thing: 5+1 vs. 2]

And a mighty stabbity-stabbing it is indeed, with some additional chopping and dicing included! The thing reels! It oozes! Its limbs get hacked off one by one! The thing drops to the ground, emitting a final chitter-shriek before it goes motionless and silent!

[Acclimatization roll: 2]

Leon is so busy basking in the joy of victory that he doesn't notice himself getting carried off again! Honestly, he's starting to get used to it! He gets dumped inside the room with the slab again!

[? roll: 1]

The great beast descends on him once more and strips off the flesh from his bones! All of it! Once he gets skeletonized, he is immediately picked up and taken to the other side of the room! Here he gets restrained and placed into some kind of loosely form-fitting bed of stone. Hm, wonder why they-

A stream of molten metal pours over Leon!

[Will roll: 5]

He holds on to his dear unlife with almost supernatural conviction, letting the metal flow over his restrained body and harden! After a short while, the metal rapidly cools for some reason! Then it heats up once more and something begins to hammer it!

[Craftsmanship roll: 3]

After a long period of time, Leon feels air rush inside his head! Two eye holes seem to have been made on his face! Also, he can move his halberd arms and legs now, which have been similarly exposed and resharpened! His leg joints are even stiffer than before, however.

Leon is now a Metal Guardian!

Before he can get used to his limbs, however, he is taken back to the room with the sounds by ten sets of claws! After some more clacking, clicking and whistling, the things load him onto a wheelbarrow of some kind and rapidly transport him somewhere!

After about ten minutes of high-speed movement, he gets deposited on the ground in total darkness! He hears a *KER-CLACK* as something is slapped around his neck!

Meanwhile on university grounds...

James is glad that he is not a piece of crushed infested vampire flesh right now! So glad, in fact, that he decides to get back to what he is here for in the first place! He looks for weak points in any faculty buildings!

[Building choice roll: 2]
[Search roll: 2]

He walks to the Magical Botany Department and takes a look around! Pretty secure, it seems. No obvious glaring weaknesses. Damn those botanists and their slow, careful approach to science!
« Last Edit: November 03, 2012, 06:26:34 am by Harry Baldman »
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TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #301 on: November 03, 2012, 06:47:51 am »

Make some form of battering ram.
Smash through the barricade with it.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #302 on: November 03, 2012, 08:27:48 am »

Outside the Magical Botany Department...

James is absolutely shocked that someone would barricade an establishment this thoroughly! Such dedication to security must be rewarded with equal insanity! He needs a battering ram!

[On-the-spot siege engineering roll: 1]

Eh, what's the point, anyway, when you have a perfectly good undead body to use right here!

[James ramming roll: 6]

James and his pet snail get a nice running start and leap into the door at a high speed! Well, he kind of misses the door. He does slam into the wall very nicely, though!

[Building structural integrity roll: 2]

The wall has a new feature now - a hole shaped very much like a leaping vampire carrying a giant snail! Let's see them figure out that one later! If nothing more, it might teach them to use more durable wall materials!

James inspects himself! He is really scuffed and banged up! Using yourself as a wrecking ball does that to you, he supposes.

[Marcus magic roll: 4+1]

Even though he is indoors and presumably out of earshot, James can hear the splattering and screaming of peasants as well as the pointless clinking of pitchforks against stone ring out from not too far away!
« Last Edit: November 03, 2012, 08:49:33 am by Harry Baldman »
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #303 on: November 03, 2012, 09:40:37 am »

Search the Building for loot!
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #304 on: November 03, 2012, 09:45:42 am »

Samuel will sigh, an try to enter the window to loot.
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TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #305 on: November 03, 2012, 09:50:01 am »

Search the building for (magical) loot.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

mesor

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #306 on: November 03, 2012, 10:11:19 am »

(( Sweet I'm a giant dead metal zombie with halberds for limbs. ))

Look around me and start slashing at any nearby beings.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #307 on: November 03, 2012, 10:27:19 am »

Outside the Divination Department...

Samuel knows what he must do, and that is to call upon his hopefully figurative inner wall-crawling insect and climb to assured treasure! He grabs onto a window frame and begins climbing!

[Samuel cat burglary roll: 5+1]

He scales the wall with incredible ease! Thank the gods for wildly extravagant, ornamented architecture! He gets up to the hole in the third floor and gets in. Time to steal as much as possible!

[Looting roll: 5]

Free of pesky interruptions, Samuel walks around the entire third floor, looting to his heart's content! He finds many objects of divination, most of them not very useful to himself. Also, several important-looking containers are magically locked, probably keyed to the Head Diviner himself. However, he comes upon a Black Sphere of Infinite Truth! He also finds a magic map and included locator amulet, a set of Super-Cheating Telepathic Dice and an amazing wizard's hat! Finally, he also finds three books penned by the Head Diviner himself: beginner's, student's and expert's guides on divination!

Inside the Illusion Department...

Jordan, still invisible to the naked eye, begins to search for loot!

[Looting roll: 1]

He finds a horde of pissed-off illusionists!

[Reaction roll: 5+2-2]

"Hey, guys, do you smell that?"

"Yeah, it's..."

"Oh yes, definitely!"

"Hells yeah, soup! Damn, I was really getting hungry!"

Half of the illusionists run to get some soup! About four are left in the area!

"I swear, those guys have the attention spans of children."

Inside the Magical Botany Department...

James feels a scent in the air! It's the unmistakably unpleasant scent of people looting other buildings! He really hates it when that happens! He'll show them!

[James looting roll: 6]

James finds an unlocked storeroom! He opens it!

"It's... beautiful!"

If his tears had not dried up when he died, he would cry now!

In front of him there is enough magical fertilizer to fertilize an entire county's worth of crops for several years! Amazing!

In what might be Hell, except darker...

Leon is tired of not knowing where he is or what's happening! He attempts to gain more information on where he is!

[Perception roll: 4]

Well, there appears to be a steel collar around his neck. It, and Leon with it, appears to be chained to a rock. Nobody seems to be around, though. The situation he's in reminds Leon of how you'd chain a guard dog to a post so it doesn't escape, but can still maim and spot any intruders. He is still in pitch blackness, but his undead eyes are so starved for light that he can almost see a single ray of it far off in the distance!
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Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #308 on: November 03, 2012, 10:31:31 am »

Samuel will begin to read the Beginner's book, wear the amulets he has, and the wizard hat. If he has energy for it, he'll also ask the Sphere if there are any alternate ways to open these boxes. Take everything else that was looted, of course, ESPECIALLY the dice.
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #309 on: November 03, 2012, 10:33:10 am »

Remember the location of the fertiser and head to and loot a different part of the building.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

mesor

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #310 on: November 03, 2012, 10:48:21 am »

"No chain can hold me!!!!"
Slash the chain with my armberds.
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #311 on: November 03, 2012, 10:49:48 am »

"No chain can hold me!!!!"
Slash the chain with my armberds.

((I bet that you'll roll a 1 and break them))
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #312 on: November 03, 2012, 10:54:40 am »

Inside the Divination Department...

Samuel puts on his absolutely obscenely pimp bling. But wait, something's missing! Oh yes! He puts on the wizard's hat! Man, just watch the skeletal babes come running. In preparation for this assuredly not distant event, he stores the dice in his pockets and begins to read the Beginner's Guide on Divination!

[Samuel intelligence roll: 1]

He starts reading it... what's this? Ley lines? What the hell is this? The unfathomable energies of being that decide our fates? Reading auras? Who believes this crap?

Let's see...

"Many people may describe divination as mere parlor tricks."

Heh, they're damn right!

"These people are ignorant bufoons that deserve no attention, for they are congenitally defective and to speak more on it would border on distasteful behavior simply on the basis that they are distasteful and horrible people."

Okay, that's it! Samuel hurls the book out of the window!

[Book landing roll: 2]

It lands next to the Head Diviner's headless corpse, soaking up a bit of blood and viscera from the ground! It might be slightly less legible now. Having gotten rid of the annoying piece of literature, Samuel decides to take the shorter path to power! He brandishes the Black Sphere of Infinite Truth!

[Sphere power roll: 3]

It appears to be unable to process nonverbal commands. Damnation!

Meanwhile, inside the Magical Botany Department...

James is astounded at the amazing stockpile he's discovered! Maybe those peasants were on to something, coming to the university like they did. Oh well. He memorizes the location of the stockpile and moves on to loot something else!

[Looting roll: 6]

He finds an office that's unlocked! Opening it, he finds it full of filing cabinets! Each cabinet contains exhaustive, cataloged information on flora in the entire continent, as well as special University species information! The treasures of this place are simply breathtaking! First the fertilizer, now this? What more could a man want?

Beneath the areas known to mankind...

Leon tries to free himself from indentured servitude! The chains must go! Free the metal guardians!

[Halberd vs. Chain: 5 vs. 1]

The chain is pretty shoddy, though, as a single swipe of the halberd arm completely cuts right through it! Leon is free! Now to only do something about this whole "trapped in total darkness and surrounded by undoubtedly horrid monstrosities" business.
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #313 on: November 03, 2012, 10:58:59 am »

Read and memorise the information, starting with the special university stuff.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

mesor

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter Two: Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!
« Reply #314 on: November 03, 2012, 11:03:58 am »

Begin exploring and getting used to my awesome new body and less then awesome legs, if anything moves cut it to ribbons.
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