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[mesor]

Cut up whatever is beneath me then lunge for the unknown enemy and cut it to ribbons while roaring
"Come on your bastard come shake my hands!!!! I dare you!!!!!!

[TopHat]

Erm... Have I reached the university yet? If so:
Rally the peasants and break in to the university.
If not, get there first.

[Caerwyn]

Samuel will propagate himself before the mighty Statue, and congratulate him on his freedom. Then beg that his undeathly...Life...May be spared.

[Harry Baldman]

At a mysterious singing maiden filled location...

Vincent is feeling the effects of looting withdrawal! Time to get his fix!

[Search roll: 6]

He wanders all around the basement, ignoring barrels marked "Sacred Wine" that seem to be absolutely everywhere and looking for some more easily portable loot! Eventually, he comes upon a wall! Not exciting in and of itself, but a quick search turns up an oddly loose brick! Vincent pulls it out! However, no doorway opens. He pulls out another! Still nothing. He tries again! And again! And again! An hour or so later, the wall is dismantled! Behind it is an ancient altar of some kind with a golden goblet on top! Satisfied at getting something for his efforts, Vincent takes it! It feels oddly light and appears to possess an eerie glow.

Far away beneath the earth...

Leon's fighting spirit does not allow him to give up! He may have been mutilated by unknown creatures of the depths, but he'll be damned before he'll surrender to some ornery critter he hasn't even made eye contact with!

[Leon vs. Thing: 5+1 vs. 3+1]

He uses his armberds to slide forward on the creature's limb, slicing it up with his leg blades! The creature's chittering is replaced with a horrid shriek as some of what seem to be its internal organs get pierced! A bubbling, oozing sound is coming from its center!

"Come on, you bastard! Shake my hand! I dare you! SHAKE IT!"

[Thing vs. Leon: 5+1-1 vs. 4-1]

The thing strikes with another of its limbs, almost slicing off Leon's arm, the sharp claw only stopped by the steel shaft of the halberd within it!

On the road to the university...

James, menacingly holding a giant snail over his head, finally arrives at the university! The sun really isn't too bad when you've got a friend protecting you! He approaches the confused agitators!

[Heretic rally roll: 2+1]

"How are you today, my flock?"

"Horrible, mighty prophet! A lunatic walking corpse killed off a quarter of us while we tried to capture him!"

"Oh my! Most awful! Wait, did you say 'a walking corpse'?"

"Yes, mighty prophet! Wielding an ensorcelled axe that makes him shift in location! We did our best, but the corpse fled, making polite remarks and decimating our numbers as it did so!"

"Oh my. Well, can't help you with him, I'm afraid."

"How so, mighty prophet?"

"He is not a pawn of the gods or the noblemen! He is a wild card, a force of nature! You cannot hope to chain him! Steer clear of this being and you shall be safe!"

"So there is no other way to deal with him?"

"No, he is like the storm - when he comes, you cannot turn him away. You can merely get shelter."

"Well, that's depressing! What am I supposed to tell the women?"

"And men! We're mighty scared, too!"

"Fear not, I shall give them a service when I've figured out the right words to inspire them!"

For inspiration, James surveys the area! Hm, it seems to be quite boring around here. And bloody, too. It definitely is the axe-zombie's work. He also spots Samuel!

Samuel is about to take the amulet and leave, but is interrupted!

[Marcus magic roll: 6+1]

The interruption in question being a stone statue slamming into the ground at a great speed not ten feet away from him!

[Marcus endurance: 2+6]

The statue hardly wavers as it makes a deep crater in the ground!

Samuel, very much like the revolutionaries, feels that there is not much he can do to defeat such power! Time to grovel!

[Nonverbal groveling roll: 5]

He bows down before the statue, kissing its boots as gently as a skeleton is able (not very, for your information) and generally looking pathetic and not worth killing!

The statue speaks! Its voice is like two sides of a canyon colliding!

"I LOVE IT WHEN FOOLS CHOOSE TO HUMILIATE THEMSELVES RATHER THAN FACE DEATH. IF MY FACE WERE NOT MADE OF STONE, I WOULD LAUGH HEARTILY. YOU HAVE DESERVED YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE FOR NOW, WHELP. LIVE IN SHAME. I WILL GO OVER THERE AND SEE IF THOSE FILTHY PEASANTS FEEL THE SAME WAY. I DO SO LOVE THE SOUND OF BONES CRACKING AND THE BLOOD SPLASHING. IT SOOTHES MY STONE HEART."

The statue slowly proceeds to the mob of revolutionary peasants!

[mesor]

Roar at the butt ugly monster then dice it into little pieces starting with it's limbs, then cut it up piece by piece and take my time doing it unless I'm still in danger.
"You bastard I said shake it not attack it, now do as I said!! Or I'm going to cut you into little pieces and eat you!!."

[Greenstarfanatic]

((YES! TF2 QUOTE TIME!))

"Gentlemen?"
Start lopping off heads, while invisible!

[Caerwyn]

Samuel will now enter the Mage's place, and LOOT THE HECK OUT OF ANYTHING MAGICAL. If he runs out of room for loot, I don't know, store it inside the rib-cage or something.

[Harry Baldman]

Outside the Divination Department...

Samuel, having escaped death through the power of quietly begging for his life, decides to go back and loot the Divination Department!

[Search roll: 3]

They seem to have blocked all the first floor windows and barricaded the door! Samuel laments the unfortunate foresight of the Divination Department when it comes to looters! The third floor window's still open, though. Maybe he could climb up the wall like some kind of half-skeleton half-arachnid.

While thinking on what to do, Samuel loots the nifty amulet from the Head Diviner's corpse. The Head Diviner doesn't appear to have whole lot on him. Cheap bastard!

Inside the Illusion Department...

Jordan cannot be seen anymore! How fortuitous!

"Spit it out! Where did he go?"

"Well, I may have... uh..."

"You may have what?"

"I may have turned him invisible."

The arrivals go quiet and wide-eyed!

"Gentlemen?"

[Jordan vs. Illusionists: 4+1 vs. 1-2-1-1]

One little, two little, three little illusionists!

Four little, five little, six little illusionists!

Sev- oh wait, they're all dead already. Youth these days. Can't fight half as good as their seniors. They do scream quite nicely, though. While the advantage of invisibility cannot be doubted, Jordan can't help but think that it spoils the fun somewhat. He arranges the severed heads and limbs in a neat row as a warning to the rest!

"I say, that will teach them to hinder a revered gentleman on a quest!"

Far away from human civilization...

"I SAID SHAKE, NOT DISMEMBER! WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS! I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SLICE YOU UP AND EAT YOU NOW!"

[Leon vs. Thing: 4+1 vs. 6]

Leon is about to make good on his promise when the thing hurls him away, clearly having had enough of halberds piercing its soft thing-flesh! Leon lands a few dozen feet away, followed by the fiercely (at least as far as Leon can hear) leaping creature!

[Thing vs. Leon: 3 vs. 2]

It lands on top of him, making several cuts in the flesh covering his halberd-limbs!

[Acclimatization roll: 4]

Leon is beginning to get a feel for the place he's in. It seems like he is in a cave of some kind. The creature in front of him isn't terribly large, just really fierce. It doesn't seem like any tactics outside of injuring it into submission are necessary.

[TopHat]

Think of a better rallying speech. Deliver it.

[Harry Baldman]

In a crowd of decreasingly revolutionary people...

James tries to think of a better rallying speech!

[Intelligence roll: 3-1+1]

Dang, these people are kind of screwed right now. Oh well, guess it's time for the good ol' "sacrifice yourselves for the greater good" bit.

[Heretic rallying roll: 6+1]

"My friends! Do not be afraid, for the mighty prophet has words of wisdom to share! Do not blindly stand here and allow yourselves to be slaughtered, for that is the way of the god-slaves! Take initiative! Act individually! In your foolish concept of the world, you have allowed yourselves to be led astray! Do not follow any master, even among yourselves! Have you forgotten the most basic precept of my teachings? Let each man and woman be their own god and master, and let none impugn upon this freedom! And abandon this foolish attempt to kill all the mages and the lords! They are better armed and can deliver far too much horrible stabby and burning death for it to ever be worth it!"

"You say we mustn't kill people? But how are we to change anything?"

"Disobey them secretly! Sabotage their designs! Subvert their goals without revealing yourself! Stop visiting temples and giving them money! In doing so, you will inch closer to freedom!"

"But we could just kill our oppressors and take over immediately!"

"You could try, but who is to say you won't run into that axe-corpse again? Can you guarantee it? Are you prepared to die should you meet him?"

"Uh..."

"Exactly! So, if you are to gain any freedom at all, you are to work for it slowly and subversively! None of this burning and killing nonsense!"

"But we already burned our farms as they were the tools of our enslavement!"

"Think of it as an opportunity to build secret passages, clubhouses and torture rooms without arousing suspicion!"

"Torture rooms?"

"Well, you never know is what I always say."

The leader turns back to the crowd.

"Let's go home, everyone! Live to fight oppression from the shadows!"

The crowd quietly leaves, trying to look as humble and penitent as possible to fool the oppressors! Well, maybe not all of them will be put to death. Perhaps some of them will merely be whipped into submission!

James looks at his great work with a smile when suddenly a statue strolls up to him! It speaks with a voice that resembles a meteorite striking a fortuitously placed giant gong!

"YOU. WHY ARE YOU CARRYING A GIANT SNAIL? AND WHERE DID THE FILTHY PEASANTS RUN OFF TO? I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SMASHING THEM QUITE A LOT. ANSWER CAREFULLY. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE ME DISAPPOINTED."

[TopHat]

Explain why I'm holding the snail.
And they went thataway.
ca

[Harry Baldman]

At the former gathering place of the peasant mob...

James gets the feeling that being evasive or annoying in this case wouldn't go very well for him!

[James explanation roll: 6-1-1]

"Well, you see, I am carrying a giant snail because it attacked me and was simply too amusing to kill! Also, it provides an nice bit of shade!"

He scratches one of the many insect hives on his skin!

"I KNOW THE FEELING. NOTHING IS MORE AMUSING THAN THE ATTEMPTS OF PUNY CREATURES TO DESTROY ONE'S MAGNIFICENCE! SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE DID THAT CROWD OF PEASANTS GO? MY BODYCOUNT IS WOEFULLY LOW AT THE MOMENT!"

"Oh, they went home. If you hurry, you might catch them! They went east, I believe."

"WONDERFUL! GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK!"

[Marcus magic roll: 5+1]

He lifts himself off the ground telekinetically and flies eastward!

[Marcus magic roll: 2+1]

No screams of pain and death, though. Well, maybe one or two, but that's hardly what you'd expect from a flying statue of telekinetic destruction facing off against a bunch of peasants!

Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)

Sometimes you guys get so lucky with your rolls. I mean, seriously.

[mesor]

Get close and hack, slash, stab and otherwise mutilate the monster in many unpleasant ways. (( Do I get a combat bonus for being a walking, talking weapon? ))

[TopHat]

look for a weak point in the barricades

[miauw62]

((This statue is so awesome its nearly too much for a human brain))