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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 564910 times)

miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2055 on: December 26, 2012, 02:34:07 pm »

Mike will, with his Ghostly Ventroquilsm, ask a few sailors wich direction is southeast.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2056 on: December 26, 2012, 03:02:31 pm »

James will head off on another epic quest through his mind to reclaim control of his real body.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2057 on: December 26, 2012, 03:21:13 pm »

In a crazy captain's quarters...

Mike squeezes out of the captain's quarters and tries to prank one of the sailors!

[Ghostly Ventriloquism roll: 6]

He impersonates a barrel while a man is passing by it!

"YOU THERE! WHICH WAY IS SOUTHEAST? TELL ME BEFORE I EAT YOUR SOUL!"

[Sailor 1 reaction roll: 4]

The sailor turns to the barrel, still picking his nose.

"No clue. Sorry."

He strolls off on his daily business. Another sailor soon passes by!

"FOOLISH MORTAL! TELL ME WHICH WAY IS SOUTHEAST OR HUMANITY AS YOU KNOW IT GETS IT!"

[Sailor 2 reaction roll: 2]

"Aw, hell, not again!"

The sailor runs away! Hm. Maybe he should tone it down a little?

Nah, probably not.

Soon enough, yet another sailor, a portly individual with a mustache this time, passes by the barrel!

"POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION BETWEEN SOUTH AND EAST OR I SHALL FLAY YOU ALIVE AND MAKE FASHIONABLE BREECHES FROM YOUR CRAVEN HIDE!"

[Sailor 3 reaction roll: 4]

"Sorry, evil chap, but I'm not privy to such information! Only the cap'n knows."

He is about to leave, but then turns around.

"And I'd really prefer if you made trousers out of me if you really have to. Breeches irritate me so."


In a deranged mind...

James tries to set off on a mental reclamation quest of epic proportions!

[Questing roll: 5]

And verily, he does indeed quest with great gusto! He quests right out of the room he's in and into another one, this one completely blank except for a single white marble pedestal! It has a skull on it, interestingly enough. What could it mean?
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2058 on: December 26, 2012, 03:54:39 pm »

Examine skull
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2059 on: December 26, 2012, 04:51:48 pm »

Inside a room with a skull of some kind...

James opts to take a closer look at the skull! As he does so, he feels an odd sensation. As though this skull were incredibly important somehow. Its eyes are precious jewels for some reason, and there is a peculiar sheen to it.

[Intelligence roll: ?+1]

He'll be damned if he knows why it seems important, though.

[Passage of time roll: 6]

He suddenly hears a voice in his head!

~HEY, THIS IS THE ARTISTE, IN CASE YOU FORGOT. WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN LATELY, SO I THOUGHT I'D DROP IN AND GIVE YOU A BIT OF A PROGRESS REPORT. YOU SEE, I'VE NEARLY DONE WHAT I WANTED TO DO, SO I THINK I'LL BE LEAVING SOON. JUST A HEADS-UP. ANY QUESTIONS? NO? THAT'S GREAT, SEE YOU LATER.~

And just like that, the voice of the Artiste disappears again.
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2060 on: December 26, 2012, 05:36:06 pm »

Insult him.
Then carry on questing.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2061 on: December 26, 2012, 06:11:37 pm »

In the mind of an increasingly disoriented individual...

James tries to insult the Artiste as best as he can!

[Insult roll: 3]

"Hey, you're not a very nice mind-stealing demon, Mr. Artiste! Not very nice at all!"

There is no answer once again. Lousy bastard. James resumes his questing!

[Questing roll: 1]

He quests right out of the room and into the Infinite Library of Toilet Humor. He spends what seems like a short time there, chuckling at his best material. Suddenly, the Artiste pipes up again!

~RIGHT, SO I'M DONE NOW. PLEASURE WORKING WITH YOU, REALLY. MOST PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO BEAT ME WHILE I'M IN CONTROL, AND I AM PLEASANTLY SURPRISED THAT THIS WAS NOT THE CASE IN OUR PARTNERSHIP. I HOPE TO WORK WITH SOMEONE AS COOPERATIVE AS YOU AGAIN, MR. LANTHORN. OH, YES INDEED.~

James has a sinking feeling for a few seconds, then a sensation of being pureed, then sucked through a straw. This is followed by an odd song playing in his head for ten minutes until he passes out from bewilderment. When he opens his eyes, he is in control! Real, total control of his body!

He seems to be on a cliff overlooking a vast stretch of countryside.

[Perception roll: ?]

Oh dear. There's seven villages that he can see. Each one is on fire and seems to have a giant tower of bones constructed in the middle of it. Each tower pulses with malevolent power for some reason.

The Artiste has been proactive with his body, it looks like.
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Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2062 on: December 26, 2012, 06:29:28 pm »

Explore these ruins for magical weapon or artifacts.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2063 on: December 26, 2012, 07:49:02 pm »

In the ruins of a once-proud city...

Vincent searches around for some interesting objects, perhaps even an artifact of some kind!

[Search roll: 2]

Strangely enough, it doesn't seem like ordinary citizens are in the habit of keeping magical weapons and artifacts in their homes. These people make no sense to Vincent. After all, where else would you keep magical weapons and artifacts if not in the safety of your own home?
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2064 on: December 27, 2012, 06:54:02 am »

Flee north to do the quest for Bernie
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2065 on: December 27, 2012, 06:56:18 am »

Mike will continue his barrel impersonation and ask somebody where the captain is!
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2066 on: December 27, 2012, 07:44:35 am »

On a cliff overlooking a vast stretch of violated countryside...

James, seeing the destruction probably wrought with his own varying number of tails, chooses to flee rather than try to hero the place up. Just as well. He's probably not very liked around those parts.

[Perception roll: ?]

As he turns around and rolls away, he hears a hideous shriek, many vast explosions and the sound of massive chunks of granite being displaced. These are sounds that are virtually unanimously agreed upon by all to be Not Very Good, so James chooses to not look. Someone or something there might take offense.

He then tries to figure out where he is.

[Intelligence roll: ?-1]

Uh... not a clue. He does get the feeling that he is rather far from where he was before, though.


On a ship on the Sea of Death...

Since it's worked perfectly so far, Mike continues to ventriloquize the poor barrel!

[Ghostly Ventriloquism roll: 6]

He waits for yet another sailor to pass by! One eventually does.

"POINT ME TO YOUR CAPTAIN AND I SHALL NOT MAKE DEMONIC SANDWICHES FROM YOUR ENTRAILS!"

[Sailor 1 reaction roll: 3]

"Holy mother of Narcillicus, looks like the captain's fears were well-founded! Screw this, I'm outta here!"

The sailor runs away! However, another one eventually approaches.

"YOU PIECE OF HUMAN FILTH, SUBMIT TO YOUR BETTERS! TELL ME WHERE THE CAPTAIN IS!"

[Sailor 2 reaction roll: 3]

"Uh, no. Sorry. No. Can't say."

The sailor leaves with an awfully fidgety look to him. Before long, another is passing by.

"TELL ME WHERE THE CAPTAIN IS OR FACE ETERNAL DAMNATION AND HUMILIATION IN THE HORRIBLE PITS OF DARKNESS!"

[Sailor 3 reaction roll: 6]

"Ooh, a demon barrel! How interesting! How is it that you can speak?"
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2067 on: December 27, 2012, 08:27:43 am »

((Guess you now know what art the Artiste makes :P))
"MY MASTER HAS GRANTED ME THIS POWER SO I CAN FULFILL MY MISSION. THIS IS NOT THE ONLY POWER HE HAS GRANTED ME, AND I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO SEE THE OTHERS, SO TELL ME WHERE THE CAPTAIN IS!
Mike will try to gain the captain's location from this sailor!
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Harry Baldman

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  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2068 on: December 27, 2012, 08:43:57 am »

On the deck of a ship on the Sea of Death...

Mike, not one to be confused by skeptical questions, comes forward with a reply!

"MY MASTER HAS GRANTED ME THIS POWER SO I CAN FULFILL MY MISSION. THIS IS NOT THE ONLY POWER HE HAS GRANTED ME, AND I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO SEE THE OTHERS, SO TELL ME WHERE THE CAPTAIN IS!

[Sailor 3 reaction roll: 1]

"Ah. I see."

He screams and jumps overboard! Dammit, why can't anyone help him? This ship is full of lunatics, it seems!
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #2069 on: December 27, 2012, 09:13:08 am »

Mike will look in the water to see what way his head points!
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.
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