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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 564848 times)

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1965 on: December 22, 2012, 02:52:53 pm »

Insult the artiste's mother!
And his family!
And his heritage!
And his little dog too!
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1966 on: December 22, 2012, 03:31:49 pm »

In the Motor Control Center...

James tries to insult the artist's mother!

[Insult roll: 1]

"Your mother is so... so... so... nice. I wish I had a mother like that. My mother was an unholy terror, you know. Now, your other family, however, are..."

[Insult roll: 6]

"... the worst bunch of scum-sucking, demon-raping, lactose intolerant, socially conscious and egalitarian swine to ever be seen on earth! Like, ever!"

[Insult roll: 4]

"I bet your entire genealogy is filled with substandard individuals, probably a dog or two as well! If you're lucky!"

[Insult roll: 2]

"And your dog, your dog is... you don't have a dog, do you? No, didn't think so. Well now..."

James rolls in place for a bit, having run out of things to say! There is an eerie quiet in the room! James always feared he might be empty-headed, and now he knows the sad truth!
Logged

Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1967 on: December 22, 2012, 04:03:43 pm »

Stab him some more.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1968 on: December 22, 2012, 04:32:38 pm »

Maybe he's left? To the throne room!
And sit on the throne! Take control!
Logged
I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1969 on: December 22, 2012, 05:43:29 pm »

Near a wheelbarrow...

Vincent goes for yet another stab at the man!

[Vincent vs. Man: 5+2 vs. 2+1]

He stabs his two halberds forward with perfect precision, puncturing both of the man's lungs! It doesn't look like the man enjoyed that! At all!

[Man endurance roll: 4+1]

The man, even though he seems to be coughing blood and having breathing difficulties, tries to swing at Vincent!

[Man vs. Vincent: 2+1 vs. 1+3]

Vincent just takes a single step back, easily avoiding the man's swing!

[Metal Guardian vs. Man: 5+2 vs. 5+1]

The metal guardian tries to punch the man, but the man rolls away from the blow, which results in him getting rather brutally tapped on the shoulder with a metal fist! This hurts, yes, but it's hardly that much of an impediment to the man!

[Vincent vs. Man: 6+2 vs. 6+1]

Vincent, feeling confident, makes a valiant stab at the man! The man almost dodges, much to Vincent's surprise, resulting in a shallow gash on his chest!

[Man vs. Vincent: 6+1 vs. 4+3]

The man pushes Vincent backwards!

[Metal Guardian vs. Man: 1+2 vs. 6+1]

The metal guardian tries to do a flying spin-kick to the man's head! Being made of metal, it merely tumbles to the ground!

[Counterattack: Man vs. Metal Guardian: 1+1 vs. 6+2]

The man is about to kick the metal guardian, but chooses to rather use this opportunity to allow some blood to leave his lungs! Can't have it congesting them, you know.

[Vincent vs. Man: 6+2 vs. 4+1]

Vincent stabs the man in the liver and kidney, utilizing his distraction to its utmost extent!

[Man endurance roll: 5+1]

And yet the man keeps swinging!

[Man vs. Vincent: 6+1 vs. 4+3]

He chooses to push Vincent away again, preferring to stave off death rather than spread it further!

[Metal Guardian vs. Man: 5+2 vs. 5+1]

Fortunately for Vincent, the distance between him and the man doesn't change, as his metal-covered friend pushes the man right at him!

[Vincent vs. Man: 4+2 vs. 3+1]

Vincent hold out one of his halberds and lets the man run into it and get a gutful of halberd once again!

[Man endurance roll: 6+1]

The man pushes himself forward, pushing the halberd's axe blade right through his gut in what is assuredly one of the more stupid ideas Vincent has seen enacted!

[Man vs. Vincent: 6+1 vs. 1+3]

He is so stupefied, in fact, that the man manages to clock him right in the skeletal face! Vincent feels something crack and falls to the ground, leaving one of his halberds in the man's belly!

[Metal Guardian vs. Man: 2+2 vs. 5+1]

The metal guardian consistently fails to do any harm to the man!


In the mind of a crazy person...

James runs over to the Throne Room and takes a seat!

[? roll: 3]

He feels rather good about himself! Little else happens, however. Apart from a faint tingling sensation, that is.
Logged

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1970 on: December 22, 2012, 06:08:19 pm »

Work out what faint tingling sensation is.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Firelordsky

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1971 on: December 22, 2012, 11:32:46 pm »

Try to slice his head off and get my halberd back.
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Country Name: Lindiria
Name: Sir Alexei Robret
Region: North
In Thirteen Colonies Game

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1972 on: December 23, 2012, 03:35:38 am »

On a throne...

James tries to figure out what this faint tingling sensation might be!

[Intelligence roll: ?+1]

Uh... probably something. Yeah, probably something.

[? roll: ?]

The tingling sensation goes away! Huh.


On the streets of Mumblemumble...

Vincent tries to decapitate the man!

[Vincent vs. Man: 1+1 vs. 4+1]

The man easily dodges the swing and tries to deliver a spectacular beating to Vincent!

[Counterattack: Man vs. Vincent: 4+1 vs. 3+2]
[Man vs. Vincent: 3+1 vs. 5+2]

Vincent successfully dodges the man's first swing, and on the second swing he takes advantage of a small window of opportunity to resume his decapitation plans!

[Counterattack: Vincent vs. Man: 3+1 vs. 6+1]

However, the man rolls backwards immediately as Vincent goes in for the kill! This ends with Vincent swinging at empty air, silently cursing the man!

[Metal Guardian vs. Man: 3+1 vs. 5+1]

Neither is the metal guardian successful in killing the man!

[Man bleeding roll: 1]

The man is about to take another swing! However, what mere weapons couldn't do, massive blood loss does instead! His arm seems to go limp, and the man himself collapses on the ground, having exhausted his supply of precious vitae! Sucks to be him, Vincent theorizes!
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1973 on: December 23, 2012, 06:12:54 am »

Chant empty mind chant to boost willpower.
Claim mind back from this position of power.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1974 on: December 23, 2012, 06:47:31 am »

((That 1 finished off a second whipman.))
"WELL THEN, DO YOU KNOW OF A LOCATION WHERE MAPS ARE TO BE SOLD?"
Mike will ask the girl if this town has a map store.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2012, 06:49:12 am by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1975 on: December 23, 2012, 06:58:46 am »

On a mental throne...

James tries to chant the Empty Mind Chant once more!

[Chant roll: 6]

He chants so hard that after ten minutes he is left staring vacantly into the recesses of his mind! He once again has forgotten what it was he wanted to do!

[? roll: ?]

Nothing horrible has happened yet, however, so it all seems alright!


Near an empty town square...

Mike keeps trying to interrogate the little girl!

"WELL THEN, DO YOU KNOW OF A LOCATION WHERE MAPS ARE SOLD?"

[Girl knowledge roll: ?]

"Yes! There's one on the west side of town, called the Lucky Map! I bet there's maps in there! All the maps you'd ever want! Now please leave me alone, you evil demon, you!"
Logged

miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1976 on: December 23, 2012, 07:17:16 am »

"SO, IF I LEAVE YOU ALONE, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU? I DONT THINK THESE VILLAGERS WOULD LIKE YOU VERY MUCH, EH?"
Mike will try to recruit the girl! Regardless of the outcome, he will go to the Lucky Map!
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1977 on: December 23, 2012, 07:25:47 am »

I was going to claim back my mind!
Do so!
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1978 on: December 23, 2012, 07:48:54 am »

In a town of some kind...

Mike tries to persuade the girl to serve him!

"SO, IF I LEAVE YOU ALONE, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU? I DON'T THINK THESE VILLAGERS WOULD LIKE YOU VERY MUCH, EH?"

[Girl reaction roll: 1]

"No! Go away! I just want to go home, to my parents, to my dog, to my housework! Leave me be, demon!"

She makes a run for it, disappearing into a nearby alleyway! Mike chooses to not bother with her any longer and tries to find the Lucky Map.

[Search roll: 6]

He finds three places on the west side of town called the Lucky Map! Must be a popular name around here.


On a mental throne of some kind...

James tries to remember what it was he was doing, exactly!

[Memory roll: ?]

Something about his mind, he remembers that much. But what?

[? roll: ?]

He is prevented from further consideration by a sudden rush of air pulling him out of the throne and hurling him across the throne room!

[Landing roll: 4]

Fortunately, he is still made of snail flesh, so the drop is nothing too bad for him!
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1979 on: December 23, 2012, 07:58:02 am »

Mike will look at the signs to see wich ones are actual map stores!
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.
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