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[Harry Baldman]

Head back to Bernie's lair, and be a great friend and loot Blake's corpse.

((quick question about the Char. Progression abilities - are they passive, or activated? And if activated, what is the cooldown?))

((Depends. Most are passive, but some, like the magical abilities ghosts could develop if any had survived, would be active. All of the ones already picked are passive - Blends In Surprisingly Well is active at all times, while Gentleman Slayer and Rebound From Misfortune activate when conditions are met (respectively, entering combat and having 6 consecutive bad rolls).))

[Harry Baldman]

At the inn...

Greatly saddened at the lack of anything to pillage, James, after a period of short deliberation, decides to return to his master's lair! Judging by the state of the inn, it's more than likely somebody of Skip Rogers' description at the very least got horribly injured in the mayhem. Good enough, James thinks.

[James speedy traveling roll: 3-1]

He gets there without rushing at all, taking about an hour to do so. While doing this, he struts exactly like a confident, naked and, most importantly, unpunished heretic would.

Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)

Considering how low you rolled, I will only have you appear in the lair when Sis is done with her explanation of the next mission.

[mesor]

(( I'll take blue please. ))

[TopHat]

Get to the lair when Sis has just finished explaining the next mission, looting Bruce's corpse.

[Harry Baldman]

((Do you still want to loot the corpse?))

[TopHat]

((Do you still want to loot the corpse?))

Yes *changes action*

[miauw62]

((What are the two next guys on the waitlist?))

[Harry Baldman]

((Well, the new joiners are OREOSOME and mesor, after that on the waitlist there's... you and Gamerlord, in that order. After both of you there's Yoink (still hasn't submitted a character sheet and probably should), I believe. And that's it. Man, we have a pretty short waitlist (hint hint).))

[Gamerlord]

What was my charac sheet again?

[Harry Baldman]

((Montgomery Caid, the legless skeleton.))

[Firelordsky]

Go outside, pick up three halberds and try to wield them, one in each hand.

[Gamerlord]

((Montgomery Caid, the legless skeleton.))

((Great!))

[Harry Baldman]

Chapter 2
Books, Baubles and Boyfriends!

The minions all wait a bit until there is yet another *schwing* sound. Two sets of footsteps and a faint ethereal moan echo throughout the mausoleum. A minute later, Bernie arrives, a zombie and a ghost following him! The ghost is dressed in a fancy robe while the zombie is covered in blood and vomit much like Jordan himself!

"Here they are, sis! Fresh from the graveyard, this bunch."

"Oh my, what's happened to the walking corpse?"

"My name is Leon. And I merely took my revenge on a vampire, thank you very much!"

"Yes, he's had a whole adventure while I wasn't there. Crafty bastard."

"Well, I suppose that's not important right now. What about the ghost?"

"I am Alaric Delthin! Mage extraordinaire! Felled by a necromancer most foul in the Northern Tomb-wastes!"

"I'm not sure what his problem is. Seems to think he's a mage."

"Did you not hear me? I've been to the Northern Tomb-wastes, where I met a most horrible fate at the hands of the defilers of the dead!"

"What are the Northern Tomb-wastes?"

"No idea. He must be a pretty ancient ghost, though, judging by his name. Works for me."

"The Northern Tomb-wastes are..."

"No need to explain. I'm sure it's not important."

"But..."

"Shush, damn you! Everyone, I order you to follow my sister's orders like you would my own!"

The binding spell kicks in like a whiplash across the undead minds in the room!

"Now, I really have urgent business that needs taking care of!"

"You're just going to sit around re-examining your yearbook, aren't you?"

"Shut it!"

He stands in silence for a moment while his sister stares at him.

"They really didn't capture my good side in that picture!"

"Of course they didn't. It's terribly unfair."

"That's what I keep saying, but you don't believe me!"

"Sure I do."

"No, you don't! You think I'm a fool, going on about it like I am!"

"No, what gave you that idea?"

"Well, you always smirk when you..."

He realizes there are 5 other people in the room with him. He goes silent and storms off! The sister turns back to the minions.

"Okay, so, now that everyone's here and my brother is gone, let's talk about what I want from you. You see, my brother is kind of protective of me. Very protective. Some, including myself, would say it's getting quite stifling and inhibiting toward my personal growth. Especially how he won't let me go anywhere. Seriously, I don't understand what his problem is sometimes!"

She shakes her head and strokes her chin.

"How best to put this... ah, you see, a woman my age has... needs, let's say. Not just what you might think, either."

She points to the shelves.

"All the books in those shelves, I've read them. All of them. Many times over. Same goes with the ones in Bernie's hall. And the cottage. What I'm trying to say is, I'm bored to tears living here, and Bernie won't let me leave. So, I'm going to have you act as a proxy of sorts. You see, Bernie has been studying at the University of Magic for quite a while now. From what he's told me, it sounds very, very fun! Exciting, even! They have a great library, a fine campus area and many other marvelous places! But I can't go, sadly."

She lowers her head for a second, then raises it right up!

"That's why you're going to bring it to me!"

"Milady, I'm afraid moving an entire university might be more than I can do with my two hands and an axe, however magical it may be. I could still try, if it pleases you."

"No, silly! I don't want the whole thing! Just the bits that I like! I've drafted up a wishlist!"

She fetches a piece of paper from one of the tables.

"Here it is!"

She looks at the list and begins to list off her needs.

"First, I want the entire library's collection of human anatomy books! Mine have gotten so dreadfully boring. Bernie says that theirs have all sorts of amusing pictures in them, so they're leaps and bounds ahead of mine. My volumes on people can't even get blood circulation right. They say it all comes from the liver or some such rot. It's almost as if they've never done an autopsy before. Silly writers."

"Second, I want you to bring me one object in particular. It's called a scrying amulet! But not just any scrying amulet! I want the Head Diviner's scrying amulet, and will accept no substitutes! I want that one in particular because not only can it show locations, it can produce images from a distance of more than a hundred miles! If I had that, I could just spy on a theater or a carnival on one of those nights I've got nothing to do. Or spy on people, I suppose. I hear they're pretty funny, too!"

"Finally, I want you to bring me a friend! I've heard from Bernie that there is a certain fellow working in the Metamorphosis Department that's worked on making himself the most beautiful man in all the land! He sounds quite dreamy, if you don't mind me saying."

"You want us to bring back a man, milady? Alive?"

"Oh, no. No no no no no. I'm not ready for a relationship like that, I think. I want you to bring me his corpse, silly! I could prop him up around here somewhere and look at him all the time!  And I could talk to him when I'm feeling lonely! He wouldn't talk back, either, unlike Bernie! I hate it SO MUCH when he does that!"

She clenches her fists and is obviously trying to restrain herself from picking up one of the innumerable sharp objects lying around. Instead, she picks up two bottles from one of the shelves! She hands them to Jordan!

"Here, pour one of these on him when you've made a corpse out of him! A single bottle all over his body will preserve him forever and ever. The second one is in case you lose the first! It happens, you know. Make sure not to leave too many marks on him, though. I want him preserved in all his beauty! So, any questions?"

"Yes, what seems to be going on here?"

"Gods, man, you're naked!

"No, I'm not! I have this cloak!"

He ties a tattered dark blue rag around his hips!

"And who did that patch job on your face, it's simply atrocious! Your teeth don't even match! My brother could do better than that, and he's deathly afraid of sharp objects!"

"He is?"

"Oh yes! He's periodically dulls all the scalpels in his hall! That's how afraid he is! So, what happened to you, you poor, poor man?"

"Divine retribution, crazy wild animals and insane dentists. The woods are thick with all three in various proportions. Can't stand them."

"Oh. Well, I wouldn't want to interfere with some divine plan. I hear the gods can be nasty."

"You don't know the half of it."

"Your stomach seems to be glowing. It's not going to explode, is it?"

"I sure hope not! Wouldn't exactly surprise me, though."

"You're making me feel very nervous."

"You wouldn't be the first to feel that way."

"Please leave."

"If you insist!"

James heads out while cradling a jar of leeches and a bloodletting kit in his arms! Vincent follows closely behind!

Once out, Vincent attempts a rare and dangerous maneuver - triple-wielding halberds!

[Three-hand coordination roll: 3-2]

He picks each halberd up awkwardly and attempts to swing them all in unison! Two halberds slip out of his grasp!

[Halberd flight roll: 2]
[Other halberd flight roll: 5]

One halberd lands right at Vincent's feet while the other flies at James!

[Runaway Halberd vs. James: 3 vs. 5-1]

James leaps out of the way of the escaping weapon with unbelievable skill, considering that he was warned in absolutely no way! Perhaps it was because he always expects the worst to happen at any given time? He shakes his fist at the sky!

"Nice try, Pacitarius, but I'm not going down that easy!"

Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)

Woo, Chapter 2! Hopefully it'll be better than the first one! Since OREOSOME already agreed to play, I decided to give him goldenrod[/abbr] as a color. OREOSOME, if you have any objections, voice them or be forever silent!

[TopHat]

Find some clothes. And take a halberd. Then see if the others have any plans.
Also wonder if the rebels have burnt down the university whilst I'm away.

[Greenstarfanatic]

Try to find some kind of store that would have a pair of rolling skates lying around. I dare say they might even negate that dreadful travel penalty! Then, head to the university!