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[Firelordsky]

Run after these elephant-men and proceed to exterminate them.

[Yoink]

"Oh, well, dis not going real well."
Timothy muttered to himself, shook his head and strode over to stand somewhere between the violent Ernest and the loyal, brave Jim. He turned to face the attacker, putting on a stern, intimidating expression.
Now was not the time for his usual, happy-go-lucky playfulness. Now was not the time for the friendly ghost, who tried only to help the people he came across regardless of how little they thought of him. Right now, this daft Ernest was being very unreasonable.
Timothy had had enough.
It was time for the performance of a lifetime. Well. Deathtime. I don't know, you get the idea.

"Do you know who I am, worm?!" He bellowed.
"I am Krobash Bone-Scruncher the Seventh, known and feared across the seven seas and the nine deserts! Slayer of Lord Jeremy Pondhandle, who I's tore apart before his armies and used to knock down alla the the very walls of his castle! It was I who razed and burnt the forest of the Frau'Geulling people after one of them looked at me funny! My ancestors have slain kings and deities across every continent of the world, and it is my quest, my duty, my destiny to complete dis mission, lest the entire world fall apart and stop working! Does you wish to stand in my way, mortal?!"

>Stride fearlessly over to stand somewhere between Jim and Ernest, facing the latter, fold my arms and give the above speech.

>Just incase he isn't cowed into retreat, ensure that my back is to a decent-sized tree. So that if he charges at me, not knowing I am a ghost, he shall run straight through and smack into it, hopefully causing critical damage to himself.

[Harry Baldman]

In a bookstore down in the ruins...

Maps considers the best method of stealing life force from the Poet!

[Intelligence roll: ?+1]

He realizes it probably wouldn't work very well, considering that the Poet has taken residence up in his body and thus probably shares his unlife force. Evil possession is such an awful thing!

~IT'S NOT SO BAD, YOU KNOW. YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SUCK OUT MY LIFE FORCE OR IN FACT GAIN ANY OTHER BENEFIT FROM MY PRESENCE, BUT HEY, AT LEAST I BENEFIT FROM YOU! THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?~


In the village of the elephant people...

Vincent and the metal guardian combine forces and try to run down the elephants in a single Genocide Charge!

[Elephant People escape roll: 5]

They scatter in many directions immediately as Vincent and his buddy approach! It'll be pretty difficult to kill them all now!


On the road to Castle Wossname...

Timothy, altogether surprised at the proficiency of Citizen Ernest, tries to intimidate him with a carefully-prepared speech!

"Do you know who I am, worm?! I am Krobash Bone-Scruncher the Seventh, known and feared across the seven seas and the nine deserts! Slayer of Lord Jeremy Pondhandle, who I's tore apart before his armies and used to knock down alla the the very walls of his castle! It was I who razed and burnt the forest of the Frau'Geulling people after one of them looked at me funny! My ancestors have slain kings and deities across every continent of the world, and it is my quest, my duty, my destiny to complete dis mission, lest the entire world fall apart and stop working! Does you wish to stand in my way, mortal?!"

[Citizen Ernest reaction roll: 3]

"Not to undermine your point there, but you seem to be dead, good sir. Plus I'm sure there's no such thing as a fraugelling. I aced both Geography and Ethnography back in school, you know."

"IT'S TRUE! HE DID!"

"Also, nobody has ever killed a god. So why don't you tell me what your real agenda is."

[TopHat]

Cast PROTECT LIFE FORCE!

[miauw62]

Mike will NOT TALK TO THE BEARS. Mayby he ment womanly bears? They're technically naked, too.

[Firelordsky]

Go back and loot the dead elephant-men.

[Harry Baldman]

In a bookstore of some kind...

Maps tries to cast a spell to protect his unlife-force! That'll help, right?

[Magic roll: 3-1]

Nothing happens, though!

~JUST AS WELL. WOULDN'T HAVE DONE YOU ANY GOOD, ANYWAY. YOUR LIFE FORCE IS NOW MINE AS MUCH AS IT IS YOURS. THAT'S THE BEST PART OF SOUL PARASITISM, I THINK.~


In a field of dancing bears...

Mike, performing a wise bit of extrapolation, decides that not speaking to the bears is probably the best idea! They might be female bears, you know.

[Bear reaction roll: 4]

The bears just keep dancing with each other, paying Mike no mind!


In a village of recently attacked elephant people...

Vincent searches the corpses of the variously murdered elephant people!

[Loot roll: 3]

They mostly have nothing on them. Well, they have some stylish-looking clams, a bunch of interesting-looking animal teeth and a few herbs. That's it, really. Well, there's their own tusks, of course, but those will be difficult to remove.

[TopHat]

Persuade the poet that there's no point him occupying my soul because
A) Bernie already owns it and
B) there are lots of vulnerable old men out there who will be a lot easier to take over.
If unsuccessful, look at spells in book.

[Harry Baldman]

In an odd bookstore...

Maps continues his internal dialogue with the Poet!

~What's the point of occupying my soul? Bernie von Glautzenheiser already owns it, plus there's so many more vulnerable old men around!~

~OH, I DON'T WANT YOUR SOUL. IT'S ABSOLUTELY FILTHY. WHO KNOWS WHERE IT'S BEEN. I DON'T REALLY NEED ANYTHING FROM YOU. I'M JUST HERE TO HAVE FUN.~

Maps, not very satisfied with the answer, looks at the spells in the book!

~BY THE WAY, DREADFULLY SORRY ABOUT THE BOOK. IT WAS A FAKE, YOU SEE. A CONDUIT TO GET ME HERE. THE SPELLS THEMSELVES DON'T ACTUALLY WORK, TO TELL THE TRUTH. I JUST THOUGHT THEY SOUNDED REALLY MAGICAL AND STUFF. WHEN YOU ATTUNED YOURSELF TO THE BOOK, YOU MERELY ATTUNED YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL TO RECEIVE ME. IT'S REALLY THE ONLY REASON I COULD BECOME SUCH A CORE PART OF YOUR MIND.~

The Poet mentally laughs inside Maps' head!

~I LOVE IT WHEN MAGES ACT PREDICTABLY. IT'S SO FUNNY. NOT THAT YOU'RE A MAGE IN THE STRICTEST SENSE OF THE WORD.~

[TopHat]

Attempt to cast one of the spells.
Mentally punch the poet if it works.
If it doesn't work work out how to make them work.

[miauw62]

Mike will mount HER bear, and continue!

[Harry Baldman]

In a bookstore...

Maps tries to cast one of the spells from the spellbook! The spellbook being fake, this does not succeed. He feels insufficiently confident to punch himself in the mind as a result.

~IT'S GOOD THAT YOU REALIZE THAT I SPEAK THE TRUTH. WE COULD HAVE A GOOD WORKING RELATIONSHIP SOON ENOUGH!~

Maps tries to figure out how to make the spells in the spellbook work!

[Intelligence roll: ?+1]

It's difficult to say, really. Probably impossible. The Poet said so, right?

~THAT I DID.~


In a plain of dancing bears...

Mike tries to mount her bear companion!

[Bear cooperation roll: 6]

As she sits down on the bear's back, the bear proceeds to run forward at a breakneck pace! It doesn't take very long before they reach a hungry goat!

"Give me a bit of food and you shall be transported!"

Mike hands over the head of cabbage!

"Odd. Why would you want to go there? Ah, no matter."

There is an odd flash of light before Mike feels herself hurtle through darkness, the bear falling right after it! She lands on some solid glass!

[Glass endurance roll: 2]

It cracks very badly, leaving Mike on very unstable ground! She looks around herself!

Everything seems to be a dull grey, with a single pane of glass under her running infinitely in every direction!

[TopHat]

the poet could be lying!
If uncussesful, write in a spell (in the new spellbook, or in the old one if no space) to make the book into a proper spellbook!

[miauw62]

((I can't believe i trusted that guy. I dove head-first into a bubbling pool of !!fun!!))
Mike will look for her bear! If she finds him, she will call him Ekim!

[Harry Baldman]

In a bookstore...

Maps considers the possibility that the Poet could be a lying liar-pants, and thus is not to be trusted!

~I CAN BE TRUSTED! WHY WOULD I LIE, ANYWAY? I MOSTLY WROTE IN STUFF LIKE "MAGIC MISSILE" AND OTHER STUPID CRAP IN THERE, ANYWAY.~

Maps doesn't listen, though, and tries to write in a spell in the Penultimate Book of Magic! After biting his tail sufficiently for it to bleed a whole lot of blood, he begins writing!

[Spell writing roll: 4]
[Focus-making knowledge roll: ?]

He writes a perfectly serviceable spell to aid in focus-making! The usefulness of it is doubtful, though, considering that he doesn't really know much about focus making other than the fact that you really shouldn't chant the Empty Mind Chant! Not to mention that the bloody thing won't work anyway since the Penultimate Book of Magic isn't actually magical in any way!

He tries to write the same spell into the old spellbook, using up the last page in the process!

[Spell taking roll: 6]

It binds itself to the page instantly and perfectly! The words seem to have changed slightly, however! For instance, nowhere in the spell does it say "spellbook" anymore! How strange!


On an infinite pane of glass...

Mike looks for her bear!

[Bear location roll: 4]

It seems to be right next to her! In fact, it's the major source of the cracks in the glass! Who would have guessed an 800-pound bear isn't the best thing to drop on a fragile pane of glass?

She dubs the bear Ekim, following a subtle and ingenious naming convention passed down from her ancestors! If only they could see her now, all gender-flipped and naming things!