In the Free Commune of Uh...
Mike tries to entice the mercenary with vague promises of potential wealth that she just so happened to leave where she happens to be going!
"I left some stuff in Yellowgen, a magical focus and some flame-resistant robes. I don't really need them, I mainly need one other item that I left there too, so if we make it there, you can have them."
[Man reaction roll: 1]
"Those wouldn't happen to be someone else's possessions, would they?"
"Well, no, they're on a headless corpse that dropped out of the sky!"
"A headless corpse that fell out of the sky and somehow remained completely untouched by the surrounding elements both criminal and natural?"
"It was in a camp full of bandits! Who could have had the gall to steal from a corpse in a bandit encampment?"
"I see. Well, I'm afraid I'll have to bid you farewell, Miss Crazy Scam Artist. It's been a pleasant chat. Cheerio!"
The large man quickly leaves, leaving Mike alone and feeling somewhat inadequate!
On the road again...
Timothy, lamenting the unfortunate lack of rope in the area, tries one last time to rocket Citizen Ernest off into the distance!
[Telekinesis roll: 3]
The scary-crow is lifted even higher into the air before Timothy just gives up, letting the scary-crow fall to the ground!
[Ernest fall damage roll: 5]
He lands in a roll, not sustaining even the slightest injury! This doesn't, however, stop Citizen Fred and his buddy Citizen Tom from kicking him into submission!
[Fred vs. Ernest: 4+1 vs. 4+1]
Citizen Ernest blocks Fred's kick with his own foot in a maneuver that is entirely too cool to normally be practiced among scary-crows!
[Tom vs. Ernest: 2+1 vs. 5+1]
Citizen Tom chooses to applaud at this display! Citizen Ernest, however, has a different plan in mind for him!
[Counterattack: Ernest vs. Tom: 6+1 vs. 5+1]
Ernest tackles Tom right into a nearby bush!
[Tom bush entrapment roll: 1]
Tom screams and flails helplessly in the bush, getting more and more tangled up as he struggles!
"Okay, playtime's over. Now it's time this shit got real."
"I was about to say the same thing!"
[Citizen Fred vs. Citizen Ernest: 2+1 vs. 2+1]
Citizen Fred makes various amusing combat stances as Citizen Ernest adopts equally embarrassing defensive stances in the meantime! Timothy believes that shit has really gotten real right now!
[Citizen Ernest vs. Citizen Fred: 1+1 vs. 3+1]
Citizen Ernest goes for a dropkick, which results in him not only totally missing, but also landing face-first on the ground! Citizen Fred laughs as he gets up!
"Let me show you how it's done. Flying Scarecrow Kick, go!"
[Citizen Fred vs. Citizen Ernest: 1+1 vs. 3+1]
Citizen Fred leaps past Citizen Ernest and tumbles into the undergrowth!
"I see. So that's how it's done. Thanks, Fred, for showing me the true way of pratfalling!"
"Laugh it up, asshole, we'll see who pratfalls last!"
[Citizen Ernest vs. Citizen Fred: 1+1 vs. 3+1]
Citizen Ernest tries to get into some kind of martial stance again, but the only results of this are that A: he looks like an idiot, and B: he slips in the dirt, falling on his face. Again.
Really, this is getting rather embarrassing to watch.
[Citizen Fred vs. Citizen Ernest: 1+1 vs. 6+1]
Citizen Fred runs up to the currently prone Citizen Ernest and tries to stomp him as hard as possible! He bends forward and draws his leg back rapidly! At the same time! He knees himself in the forehead and drops to the ground, clutching his straw-filled head, swearing and moaning in pain! Despite nearly dying from laughter, Citizen Ernest manages to get up and try to strike back!
[Counterattack: Citizen Ernest vs. Citizen Fred: 5+1 vs. 4]
Citizen Ernest kicks poor Citizen Fred in the side, causing him to roll over and swear some more!
[Citizen Ernest vs. Citizen Fred: 1+1 vs. 3]
Citizen Ernest is about to finish Fred off, but opts to burst into laughter instead, pointing at Fred! Citizen Fred gets up in the meantime, trying to kick the smug bastard where no gentlestrawman kicks another gentlestrawman!
[Citizen Fred vs. Citizen Ernest: 2+1 vs. 5+1]
As Citizen Fred kicks at the annoying prick, Citizen Ernest, still busy laughing, catches his foot and counters with a punch of his own!
[Counterattack: Citizen Ernest vs. Citizen Fred: 5+1 vs. 5+1]
Citizen Ernest throws a mean punch for once, but Citizen Fred is ready, catching it in his hand!
[Citizen Ernest vs. Citizen Fred: 5+1 vs. 1+1]
Citizen Ernest delivers a kick that looks absolutely bone-shattering straight into the magical strawnuts of Citizen Fred!
[Citizen Fred endurance roll: 3-1]
Citizen Fred's strawman face seems to crumple as the scary-crow falls backward, clutching his possibly-used family fortune! He mutters various colorful phrases that should never be uttered in polite society as Citizen Ernest, victor of this epic duel, walks past his prone form! He is heading for Jim, who is keeping a close eye on Citizen Lou!
Citizen Tom, meanwhile, seems to have run out of air for screaming, so he is now biding his time and quietly hyperventilating in the bush despite not actually needing to breathe!
In a bookstore...
Maps tries to find out more about the book from the man!
[Man knowledge roll: ?]
~I opened it once. It was the most amazing thing ever, I tell you. I can't remember what happened exactly, but you can bet your five faces that it was the most amazing thing ever.~
Good enough for Maps! He opens up the book!
[Book reaction roll: ?]
It seems like a perfectly ordinary spellbook, full of telekinesis spells, metamagical spells, fire spells, acid spells, all sorts of stuff. It's really thick, too.
"Doesn't seem so amazing to me."
~Give it time.~
Author
Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again (Read 564782 times)