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[miauw62]

"Whoa, Whoa, easy. Nobody here's gonna kill you if you tell us what you are doing here."
Mike will ask what the man is doing here.

[Harry Baldman]

Inside the tunnel to the surface...

Samucane, after considering all the alternatives, names the slime the only good name it can think of!

~Your name shall be Welt Verschlinger from this moment on!~

[Caneslime reaction roll: 6]

~Welt Verschlinger, Welt Verschlinger... I like it! It fits me very nicely, I think! I look like sort of like a welt. Not so sure about the Verschlinger part, though. It's not some kind of obscure joke, is it? 'Cause if you gave me a pun name, I will never, EVER forgive you!~

~I would never do anything like that, dear Welt! Why, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind!~

Samucane turns back to the road. Oh dear. There's a cave bear in front of it.

[Cave bear reaction roll: 3]

It sniffs Samucane curiously!


In the darkest woods of the land...

Mike tries to calm the man down!

"Whoa, whoa, easy. Nobody's going to kill you if you tell us what you are doing here."

[Man reaction roll: 4]

"I am WAITING for YOU to GO past this BUSH. IT IS PART OF MY PLAN, GET IT? Don't ask me about the plan. I'll have to KILL YOU IF YOU DO!"

"Holy crap, he's totally cracked."

"Yep. Totally bat guano, that guy."

[Caerwyn]

Sam will tell the bear that he's grateful they were allowed to temporarily have a short reprieve in his cave, and then continue along to the surface!

[Harry Baldman]

Inside a bear's prized cave...

Samucane tries to inform the bear that it is grateful for not getting slashed and will in return not kill it!

[Magic roll: 5+1]

It forms giant glowing cane-symbols in the air!

[Symbolic communication roll: 1]

There is only one symbol, though - an eye-catchingly realistic depiction of a bear getting stabbed by canes rendered in glowing miniature canes!

[Bear reaction roll: 1-1]

The bear grabs Samucane in its teeth and begins chewing!

[Chewing roll: 1]

It breaks several of its teeth on Samucane's oaken body! It roars in pain and spits Samucane out!

Welt tries to kill the bear!

[Welt Verschlinger vs. Cave Bear: 4+1 vs. 1+2]

Welt pounces on the bear, covering its entire head with its caneslime body! The bear's head gets horribly bruised!

[Bear endurance roll: 6+2]

The bear roars and leaps up in the air, hitting the ceiling of the cave!

[Cave structural integrity roll: 5]

Aside from the bear bruising its pride, nothing happens!

[TopHat]

Persuade them I am but a figment of their drink-addled minds!

[Harry Baldman]

Inside the inn at Dielnin...

James attempts to convince the villagers that he isn't real!

[Convincing roll: 6]

He points out his various anatomical impossibilities and just how many various things are wrong with him, and uses all these as proof that only a very drunk or insane mind could have come up with something like him! It sounds so convincing that even James himself believes it!

[Will roll: 3+1]

It's a minor existential crisis for him, but he gets over it easily!

"Well. That is a good point. Carry on, then."

[TopHat]

((that was close. "cause of second death: persuaded self he didn't exist"))
Listen for gossip on the missing cartographer, like where he's gone.

[Onyxjew944]

Post to watch, I'm still reading this. But for posterities sake, have a waitlister.

Name: Tom
Archetype: Skeleton
Biography: Aged thirty-five when he died; he was sitting on a wooden rocking chair when he suffered a brain aneurysm. Boring death, only sign he wasn't asleep was the six pints of blood that were cascading out of his nose.

[Greenstarfanatic]

((Well. I've been watching a lot of 1000 Ways To Die and if I ever feel like getting back into this, I have a multitude of interesting deaths!))

[Caerwyn]

Sam will turn the bear's rage into canes!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, HAIRY BALD MAN. IT'S LEGIT.

[Firelordsky]

Take another one of his legs. Then, attach both legs to my knees.

[Yoink]

"Awh." Timothy was sad! He couldn't do anything right.
With a very sad look on his face, he turns and leaves.

"Nobody's likes me, Mista Bob. Whenevers I helps dem I does it wrong an' things. You sure is not have anything I can helps with? Maybe King has a job for us? I not find that magic box yet, either."

>Pull sad face. Mope around.
>Ask Bob if he has anything I can help with. Or any ideas how I could complete my quest.

[Harry Baldman]

Inside the Dielnin Inn...

James, having firmly convinced people of his nonexistence, rolls around and eavesdrops on conversations!

[Eavesdropping roll: 4]
[Juicy gossip roll: 1]

"... geez, I can't believe I could imagine something like the thing that just rolled in through the door..."

"... horrible thing from the pits of darkness, that's what it looked like..."

"... oh gods, I might not ever sleep again..."

Damn it, why must James be such an attention grabber? It makes listening to gossip impossible!


Inside a cave bear's bear cave...

Samucane tries to perform cane psychology!

[Cane psychology roll: 3]

The answer to the bear's pent-up rage issues is canes! It's always canes, isn't it? There wouldn't be any problems in the world if only everyone had enough canes! Samucane believes that it may have the perfect remedy to the bear's problem right in its metaphorical hand!

[Magic roll: 5+1]

It summons a veritable mountain of canes that buries the bear!

[Bear endurance roll: 1+2]

The pile moves a bit, but the bear seems to have been rendered relatively harmless! Score one for cane therapy!


Inside a positively fractalicious fractal room...

Vincent, emboldened by success, decides to get greedy! Another leg, please!

[Theft roll: 3]

He pulls the leg right off! The other him falls to the ground with a loud noise and looks back at him!

[Other Vincent reaction roll: 5]

It nods at him, realizing the importance of his quest, and sends him on his way! After all, it's what any reasonable skeleton would do!

Vincent, glad that a compromise could be arrived at, takes the legs and tries to attach them to his knees!

He doesn't have any, so he attaches them to his pelvis!

[Limb attachment roll: 4]

Unsurprisingly, they fit perfectly! They do seem a bit too fractalicious to meet Vincent's full approval, though. However, he wisely decides not to look a gift leg in the mouth. In fact, he's unsure if it even has one!


Inside the court doctor's quarters...

Timothy leaves the doctor's vicinity and begins to mope around!

[Sadness roll: 6]

He laments on the tragedy of the freakrobat's unlife, the need to make people happy and the simultaneous inability to do so because of reasons of insufficient tangibility! The result is a truly soul-shattering tirade of sorrow that makes some people cry from even looking at Timothy!

[Bob will roll: 4]

Bob, though it looks like he might be choking up, manages to hold his tears inside him!

[Bystander will roll: 2]

Most of the people Timothy passes, however, are not so composed! Their faces become twisted with sadness and tears begin flowing down their cheeks!

Oh great. Now Timothy's made the castle cry. He asks Bob if he could help him in any way!

[Bob reaction roll: 5]

"Oh, why the hell not. At least you'll have some way of being useful!"

He leads Timothy to his house! There appear to be lots of cherry trees in the backyard!

"See these cherry trees? Scare away any birds that come to them."

[Yoink]

Timothy beamed happily as he found a spot to sit under a tree. Finally, he was being helpful!

>Happily prepare to scare birds away from the cherry trees! Should be pretty simple-- if they aren't scared of me alone, shout at them or telepathically remove their feathers or something! Always happy to help a friend!

[Harry Baldman]

In a cherry orchard in the courtyard of Castle Wossname.

Timothy is just about brought to the point of dancing happily at the prospect of being useful for something, rather than being the usual engine of murder and chaos he undoubtedly is. He waits for birds to appear!

[Flock of Birds roll: 5]

None fly over for the first three hours. They must have something against Timothy.

[Flock of Birds roll: 3]

A couple of small songbirds arrive after one more hour!

[Timothy intimidation roll: 1]

Timothy gurgles and pretends to flail on the ground, but none of the birds are courteous enough to come over and offer medical help! Well then, let's see how they respond to shouting!

[Shouting roll: 5]

He hollers like an ape on fire!

[Bird reaction roll: 6]

The birds speed away from the area, neglecting to account for the castle wall and thus smashing right into it! Heh, stupid birds. Timothy waits for more takers!

[Flock of Birds roll: 2]

A large murder of crows flies over, seemingly interested in the cherry trees!

[Timothy intimidation roll: 4]

Timothy glares at them menacingly!

[Crow reaction roll: 5-1+1]

The crows immediately fly away, unwilling to mess with one of the many things on heaven and earth that their philosophy can't account for! Timothy beams proudly! Over half his shift is done, and the birds have successfully been kept at bay!

[Flock of Birds roll: 5]

So successfully, in fact, that no others show up for the next three hours!

[Flock of Birds roll: 4]

Well, one bird shows up on the 14th hour, but it is quickly scared away!

[Flock of Birds roll: 6]

Actually, now that Timothy notices it, birds seem to be deliberately avoiding the orchard. How strange!

Eventually, Bob comes over to him!

"Nice work there, friend! Couldn't have done it better myself. Hey, mind going off to Yellowglen and getting me a magical scarecrow? As good as you are at this, I think this job is slightly beneath your abilities. Get me that scarecrow, and I'll think of something else for you to do in the meantime."