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Author Topic: Life Begins At Death - Epilogue: We Live And Live Again  (Read 565160 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1305 on: November 28, 2012, 12:16:20 pm »

On the streets of Dielnin...

Mike attempts to go for broke and break the whip man's neck!

[Telekinesis roll: 6]

She twists and mutilates it every possible way, nearly taking the guy's head off!

[Man endurance roll: 5-1]

The man, however, manages to retain control of his limbs and tries to practice impromptu medicine on himself!

[Impromptu medicine roll: 2]

Sadly, he has no materials to aid himself with! Oh well, at least he'll go out fighting!

[Whip Man vs. Mike: 5 vs. 4+1]

He hurls a jar and whips it, but the water misses Mike entirely as she drops low to the ground, allowing the splash of water to go right by!


Inside the castle courtyard...

Timothy tries to talk the fellow into following him![

"Thank you! That real helpfuls. Maybe you come with me? I's have lots of good adventures. It'll be fun! We can find metal lady, get big friendly neck-romance, fly around with Hansel..."

[Man fear roll: 5]

Even the threat of neck-romance is not enough to keep the man away!

"Okay, just don't kill me!"

The man follows Timothy back to the drawbridge! Timothy asks him to open it! The man goes inside the guardhouse and spins the wheel that does this! The drawbridge opens! A very confused and possibly concussed Hansel sits on the other side!


Inside the Kingdom of Slime...

Samucane follows the slime!

[Magic roll: 3+1]

It floats gently after it until they reach a large gate of solidified slime! It opens and Samucane is led through many slimy, crusty halls until it is brought before a bright purple slime!

~YOU ARE THE CANE THAT BROUGHT ABOUT THE HORROR OF THE CANE GOD? EXPLAIN YOURSELF.~
« Last Edit: November 28, 2012, 12:23:27 pm by Harry Baldman »
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1306 on: November 28, 2012, 12:22:08 pm »

Mike will now break his legs!

((SERIOUSLY. HOW MANY PARTS OF THIS GUY DO I HAVE TO BREAK BEFORE HE DIES??))
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1307 on: November 28, 2012, 12:28:19 pm »

Carry on keeping on. Hope something exciting happens.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1308 on: November 28, 2012, 12:32:59 pm »

Sam will explain how his magic is completely unpredictable, and when threatened it can just explode on it's own, with potentially dire consequences. (Hence the accidental cane body). Sam is searching for two things; - One, a mastery over this Cane magic, and the second an understanding for ALL magic. Additionally, ask the King to accept Sam's sincerest condolences.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1309 on: November 28, 2012, 01:33:50 pm »

In the streets of Dielnin...

Mike is getting quite tired of this! The man, he must break eventually!

[Telekinesis roll: 4]

She breaks one of the man's legs in a swift motion of her hand!

[Man endurance roll: 3]

The man stumbles slightly, but still tries to kill his enemy!

[Whip Man vs. Mike: 4+1 vs. 4+1]

This is starting to get ridiculous, really, as the man spins around on his single unbroken leg and tries to whip Mike! He misses, sure, but you have to admire his spirit!

[Man escape roll: 5-1]

Before Mike can do anything else, though, the whip man hops off with surprising speed, using a passing cart commandeered by an escaping villager as rapid transport!


On the road to Dielnin...

James keeps rolling onward and hopes for something exciting to happen!

[Excitement roll: 2-1]

Despite not actually using his legs, he trips and falls on his face!

[Grip roll: 3]

He nearly loses his absurdly sharp sword, too! Wow, was that a lucky catch!

[Travel roll: 6-1]

Before anything bad happens, though, James decides to quicken his rolling speed to speeding carriage levels! As day breaks over Dielnin, James rolls up to the town gate!


In the throne room of the Slime King...

Samucane tries to explain the sheer unpredictability of his magic!

~My magic is unpredictable, you see. It works most of the time, you see, but sometimes it just goes completely wild and destroys everything. I've come to accept it, really, though the civilian death toll is often high. In fact, my primary goal at the moment is to master this wild and terrible force of cane-themed destruction and mayhem. Well, that and mastering all known magic. Yeah, both of those are pretty important.~

[Slime King reaction roll: 2]

~I SEE. WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TRIAL FOR KILLING MANY OF MY SUBJECTS. THOUGH YOUR CRIMES ARE BORNE OF IRRESPONSIBILITY, NOT MALICE, THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE YOU, LIKE, AT ALL.~

~Do I have a say in the matter?~

~NO, NOT REALLY. LET THE TRIAL COMMENCE!~

Slimes start slinking around the room and taking positions for the upcoming shenanigans!
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miauw62

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1310 on: November 28, 2012, 01:36:00 pm »

Mike will pick up the Jar O' Souls as a backup plan and then search the city for usefull loot.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1311 on: November 28, 2012, 01:39:31 pm »

Sam will prepare for the arduous journey ahead!
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TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1312 on: November 28, 2012, 02:02:49 pm »

Look for map store.
Persuade shopkeeper to give me map for free.
If that fails, terrorise him into giving it to me for free.
If that fails, Suffocate them unconscious, then take map and other loot from shop.

(( I mean the spell suffocate.
And whip-guy got away. I sense a reccuring villain.))
« Last Edit: November 28, 2012, 02:56:57 pm by TopHat »
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1313 on: November 28, 2012, 03:19:26 pm »

On the streets of Dielnin...

Mike picks up his trusty Jug of Souls and goes off to find some loot!

[Search roll: 5]

She finds a relatively well-furnished home! Probably a trader's house! It's locked, sure, but the windows on the second floor don't have shutters! Mike climbs up!

[Climbing roll: 1]

She climbs up to the second floor, but slips and falls just as she is about to go through the window!

[Fall damage roll: 6]

She falls to the ground and rolls gracefully, landing face-first in a soft pile of filth!

Meanwhile, James looks for treasure of a different sort! He rolls around town looking for a cartographer's house!

[Search roll: 3]

He does indeed find a house with the word "MAPPES" written on it in large bold letters!

It's locked. Hm.


In the throne room of the Slime Kingdom...

Samucane stands trial in an uncharacteristically honorable manner!

The slimes look at each other for a while. Well, at least that's what it looks like to Samucane!

[? roll: ?]

The king slime looks pretty angry, though not unreasonable.

[? roll: ?]

The other slimes seem to be arguing with it, judging by their slime-body language!

[? roll: ?]

The king, however, seems to grow larger!

[? roll: ?]

It grows up to a very considerable size! The rest of the slimes shrink in comparison!

~WE HAVE REACHED A VERDICT! YOU SHALL BE EXECUTED AT ONCE!~

Several slimes begin to approach Samucane!
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Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1314 on: November 28, 2012, 03:32:43 pm »

Sam will say "No". And cane EVERYTHING.
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TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1315 on: November 28, 2012, 03:52:24 pm »

Break in, look for maps, steal maps, look for other loot, steal that as well, get out.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Harry Baldman

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  • What do I care for your suffering?
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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1316 on: November 28, 2012, 04:59:56 pm »

Inside the Slime King's throne room...

Samucane has only one comment on the verdict:

~No.~

It decides that everything should be caned around here! And it does mean everything!

[Magic roll: 1+1]

Dammit, why doesn't anything ever work according to dramatic convenience? It really irks Samucane sometimes!

[Slime reaction roll: 4]
[Luck roll: 1]

The slimes look at it confusedly! Samucane decides to try again!

[Intelligence roll: ?]
[Magic roll: 3+1]

It summons a whole lot of canes after ascertaining that it really shouldn't be focusing magic through its bottom half! They begin to beat on stuff all around the room!

[Canes vs. Slimes: 3+2 vs. 1+3-1]

The canes beat the slimes present quite mercilessly, and several of them die what looks like a painful death by bludgeoning! Well, works for Samucane!

[Building structural integrity roll: 2]

The canes also beat down the structure of the throne room quite a bit! The slime ceiling begins to crumble and fall to the ground! The building can't take much more of this!


Outside Dielnin's Shoppe of Mappes...

James thinks breaking into private property is a great idea right now! He rolls at the door!

[Ramming roll: 6]

He smashes the door into tiny pieces and makes the wooden building shake!

[Building structural integrity roll: 5]

The building remains standing, though! That's good! Wouldn't want all those sweet, sweet maps to be buried in rubble!

[Looting roll: 2]

That is, if there were any in this blasted place! Looks like the owner left in a hurry and took all of their maps with them! James, seemingly destined to be forever mapless, heads outside!
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Caerwyn

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1317 on: November 28, 2012, 05:02:34 pm »

MORE CAAAAAAANE POWER!
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1318 on: November 28, 2012, 05:10:35 pm »

Inside the Slime King's castle...

Samucane attempts to perform more flashy acts of cane-themed destruction!

[Magic roll: 2+1]

It summons a single cane that proceeds to whack a support beam repeatedly!

[Building structural integrity roll: 6-1]

Predictably, it doesn't do much!

[Canes vs. Slimes: 4+2 vs. 3+2]

The other canes just keep beating up any slimes they see! It sort of works, that much is true!

[Slimes vs. Canes: 5+2 vs. 3+2]

The slimes, however, are able to mobilize sufficiently to begin successfully fending the Cane Forces off! Several rampaging canes are melted straight-up!
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TopHat

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Re: Life Begins At Death - Chapter 3: Stealing Better Minions!
« Reply #1319 on: November 28, 2012, 05:13:15 pm »

go out into the street, and ask random passers-by if they have a map I can borrow.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.
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