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Author Topic: Tell me your Unicorn-Related stories and other mishaps with wild animals/zombies  (Read 1441 times)

BlueMagic

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I have heard of the Unicorn's ferocity but I have not yet heard a tale demonstrating their frightening propensity for brutality.

I like reading stories involving animals/fanciful creatures raising hell in the fortress. I think I liked the elephants rampaging across Boatmurdered more than anything else in the LP. It was hilarious.

So tell me your tales of sponges, zombies, and perchance even a tale from when carp were once fish feared mightily for their strength.
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Blue cancels Type Coherent Post: Crying Over Fictional Characters

Splint

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Civ Forge mod: Monsterous beetles live up to thier name, as one tore off a war elephant's head in one shot

Regular, happened back in 31.25: Unicorn gouged out a hunter's eye and kidneys and left him to bleed to death.

Also in 31.25: Giant badger attacks sleeping carpenter > Carpenter wakes up and punches it once in the nose> Carpenter goes back to sleep as the giant badger flees. Not a month later these giant badgers would proceed to kill a mother and shake a baby around so viciously that it was used as house paint.

In current version: Gorlak murdered a legendary miner. Was quickly beaten to death by angry friends.

megahelmet

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I just lost 2/3's of my current fort to a two humped camel. During routine outdoor cleanup of corpses and body parts, a regular camel wanders onto the map. The camel steps in a pile of cursed dust and becomes thralled. He immediately begins kicking haulers which turn them into husks. The patrolling military tries to intervene and an Axe Lord gets husked. McHack'n'Slash begins decapitating everyone that's not a husk... Pretty soon, I've lost the entire outdoors. Everyone outside--which was around 50--is dead or husked. All because of one stupid two humped camel.
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Pylons on fire can stay, its awesome.

Broseph Stalin

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(Masterwork) A sauropod wandered into the fortress and proceeded to stomp the living fuck out of everything inside.

Loud Whispers

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    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH

Undead ravens. I see them approaching my fort so I send out an elite marksdwarf and 2 speardwarves. Suddenly a MASSIVE unkindness of ravens shows up. Suddenly 3 elite marksdwarves and 10 soldiers are out there. Whilst those are being sorted out, a pack of wolves shows up a bit more south, threatening the masonry works going on there.
Queue more raven flocks bearing down on the Dwarves later, and by the end of it 30 ravens had to be killed (repeatedly), 6 wolves (repeatedly) and 4 elite marksdwarves had to be called down along with 40 soldiers, speardwarves, axedwarves and hammerdwarves. The entire fortress industry ground to a halt as Dwarves spent every waking moment hauling corpses into the raven stockpile.

Lich180

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Long story short: hammerdwarf lost a hand, had it reanimate and was forced to kill it again and again. Threw a fit, killed 2 kids and a marksdwarf, got drug into her room, where she died and reanimated, killing the rest of the kids and a few babies and their mothers.

Queue tantrum spiral that has wiped out a fort, in quite a fun area. Husking clouds, roaming undead, you name it.

Ah well, time to rebuild!
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Shoruke

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Turns out that if you fish mussels out of a river and leave them until they rot in an evil biome, the shells will reanimate. They will then proceed to attack you with a headbutt.

Did I mention that their head no longer exists because it rotted away? They have no effective attacks, all they can do is scare civvies.
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

krisslanza

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Speaking of Unicorns, I should mod them to breed and be trainable, then I can have WAR UNICORNS! Only problem is that 501 embark price tag...

ANYWAY. I seem to recall a time a monkey thing tore apart a dog and stole stuff. Stupid monkies.