Turn TwelvePlayers:
BlenkBlenk will try and, uh, murder one of these assassins.
{3} You blindly charge forward towards the nearest elf, and attempt to tackle him off his mount.* {4} The Elf laughs at your piteous attempt and lithely sidesteps your charge. Giving you a small knick on your cheek with the very tip of his blade for no reason other than to demonstrate his complete and utter control of the situation. (translation: Get a weapon or this guy will fuck you up.)
JoshQuickly take the dead elves weapons and armor then turn and strike down Bork with my hammer, once done dodge the elf and head into the trees.
{6} You realize you couldn't possibly strip the elf of his weapons during combat, so you simply pick up the little bastard and lug him with you.
BorkPick up Mono's Bastard Sword and place all of my weapons in my invisible inventory, save for my Warhammer. Keep it out and hit it against the tree closest to Josh.
{N/A} Too little, too late. {2} You bash your Warhammer into the tree next to the Yeti but do not actually achieve any noticable effect, beyond being sighted by the Assassins.
YnotABANDON TAIL. THAT'LL GROW BACK. SLITHER OUT OF THIS VALLEY.
{6} You give a sharp pull forward and your tail pops off with no bleeding and minimal pain. You proceed to leave Arken behind and slither at top speeds out of the valley.
GregrarCharge at the Assassin Quake and unleash a flurry of stabs and slashes with my improvised steel strut.
{6} You unleash a primal roar of rage and in all you nude glory charge for the nearest assassin. {1} The assassin doesn't even see you coming before he is missing a limb and his mount has a six foot chunk of steel stuck in it's abdomen. That chunk of steel falls out of your grasp with the mount.
GrekIf the 1d4 rounds have passed, firebreath! If not, attack elf.
{2} You attempt to call upon your inner fire once more, but only manage to cough up a wisp of white smoke. You try to recover and lash out at the elf but the coughing fit only worsens.
KlausLoad crossbow and try to shoot the nearest assassin
{6} You slide a bolt cleanly into the crossbow and take aim. {N/A} The bolt flies true. Sort of. You lack of experience is offset by the ease of use of your chosen weapon, but the distance and swiftness of the target is not. The bolt passes within an inch of your target.
Unknown HumanLook for some food rations and cooking equipment to carry in my rucksack. And a saucepan to use as a weapon.
{3} You pick through the cabinets and find some cured meat and safely seal it away in your now half-full rucksack. The person who stocked this cave apparently prefered cooking his meat on a spit. There is not a single saucepan in sight.
ValentineTry to switch bodies with someone else
{1} You attempt to (insert applicable action because I have no idea what you are doing). The sounds of screaming from the battlefield breaks your concentration at a critical moment. Your mind seperates from your body, but does not find it's way into another. Your body passes out and your mind is free-floating and invisible.**
NPCs:
ArkenSleep
{N/A} Zzzz....
Assassin ScalesAdvance on the mishappen green midget.
{6} Scales charges toward the humanoid with murder in his eyes. {5} The wily little beastie rolls out of the way.
Assassin QuakeFall to the ground screaming.
{N/A} *thump*
Assassin DutchRide up to the shaking tree and find the source of the disturbance.
{4} Dutch sees a human recoiling from the strike. Dutch makes a quick stab for the human's left leg to cripple it. These things seem to be annoyingly spry. {6} The blasted human jumps over the blade but lands on a sharp rock hidden under the surface of the Puddle, it penetrates his foot.
Spot/Listen Check:
{4} You look up to see the Storm upon ye'. The howling winds and sleet keep you from noticing anything else.
Status:
Players:
BlenkHalf-Ogre
Standing between the River and the Forest.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Insignificant Scratch.
Speaks Common. Competent Healing. Dabbling Nature Control/Druid. Novice Terramancer.
GrekHalf-Dragon
Standing by the puddle.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.
Fire Breath. Mighty. Flight. Immunity to Heat. Klutz.
JoshYeti
Deep within the Forest.
Carrying Assassin Mono's corpse and *<<+Steel Bastard Sword+>>*. Wielding a +Silver Warhammer+ (+4 bashing damage) coated in blood and fragments of bone and brain. Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.
Speaks Common. Mighty. Agile. Resistance to Cold. Low I.Q. Encumbered (-1 agility).
Unknown HumanHuman.
Standing inside the Hut.
Wearing +Pig Tail Leather Rucksack+ containing one Potion of Cure Superficial Wounds, and five slabs of Salted Boar Meat. Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.
Speaks Common.
YnotEel.
Slithering away Deep in the Forest.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Missing Tail.
Novice Teslamancer.
ValentineHuman.
Standing on the Wreckage.
Holding a -Steel Warhammer-(+2 bashing damage). Holding a (very) roughly cup-shaped piece of metal filled with water. Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Floating Thought Bubble.
Speaks Martian. Novice Telepath (2 uses). Novice Telekinetic (2 uses). Floating Thought Bubble (Unable to use physical form or impact the physical world, which includes telekinetics but not telepathy).
BorkHuman.
Standing by the Forest.
Holding a wooden cleaver and one wooden knife. Wielding an Iron Warhammer. Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Foreign object in Left Foot.
Speaks Swedish. (-1 to movement)
KlausHuman
Standing just outside of Riverside Cave.
Wielding +Oaken Crossbow+ with 30 Boar Bone Bolts in Right Hand. Wielding Boar Bone Carving Knife in Left Hand. Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.
Speaks English. Novice Sonic attacks.
GragrarHuman
Standing near the Wreckage, directly above the downed Assassin Quake.
Empty Inventory.
Unharmed.
Speaks Common. Speaks Elvish. Skilled Swordsman.
NPC(s):
ArkenDwarf.
Lying on the ground beyond the Wreckage.
Wielding unknown weapon. Holding wooden knife. Clothed fully in leather clothing.
Hair is now a honeycomb. Fainted. Moderate Burns covering entire face. All facial hair has been burned away, never to grow back. Extreme Pain.
Speaks Dwarvish. Unconcious.
Assassin ScalesElf.
Between the River and the Forest.
Mounted on Unknown Creature. Wielding *<<+Steel Bastard Sword+>>*. Wearing armor.
Second Degree Burns on Torso, Right Leg, Left Leg, Right Arm, Left Arm. Extreme Pain.
Agile.
Assassin QuakeElf.
Currently on Wreckage.
Wearing armor.
Missing Left Arm. Geyser of Blood. Maddening Pain.
Agile. No Arm.
Assassin MonoDead.
Assassin DutchElf.
Just outside the Forest.
Mounted on Unknown Creature. Broken bow nearby. Wearing Oaken Quiver(40 Willow Arrows). Wielding *<<+Steel Bastard Sword+>>*. Wearing armor.
Bruised Left Upper Arm.
Agile.
Assassin Dutch's MountUnknown.
Near Wreckage.
Ridden by Assassin Dutch.
Missing piece of skull.
Assassin Scales' MountUnknown.
Near Puddle.
Ridden by Assassin Scales.
Second Degree Burns on Torso, Right Arm, Left Arm, Head, Left Leg, Right Leg, all four feet.
Assassin Quake's MountUnknown.
On Wreckage.
Holding a Massive Steel Strut(Improvised Handle)(+2 Slashing/Crushing damage. +3 Stabbing damage).
Dead.
-~-~-
Luckily no wounds this round.
*: You might have wanted to say "Force a spike of rock to gouge the earth and the mount below the Assassin" or perhaps "Call upon any nearby animals to come to my aid". Those would have worked. But you don't use abilities if you don't say you use abilities. Melee is the only one that I will allow auto-attacking. For reasons that I will go into if asked, but don't feel like fully writing down.
**: Yeah.... I have no idea how you would go about taking over someone's body, or even who you were targeting. I would have just made you take Arken and his mutilated carcass if it had succeeded. But it didn't. I had no idea what the goal was so I had no idea how to screw it up. Thus that trainwreck.
Today's lesson:
Being Vague leads to Failure.