Hmm, a quickly growing thread, that I had intended to contribute to almost from its inception (but was distracted away from), with more than one diversion away from the "actual issues"... Some healthier than others.
But having seen it pop back into the first page of "unread posts" and read (albeit skimmed in places) all the way up to this twelfth page of responses, I'm surprised that I haven't seen (noticed, at least) the old nugget that includes what "gender" means, and how it relates to everything else.
"Gender is what's between your ears; Sex is what's between your legs; Sexuality is who's between your legs."
(Other wordings probably exist, so you may think I've gotten it 'wrong' in some way.)
This doesn't cover every eventuality (e.g. the case I heard reported of a gay man who got gender-reassociation and now finds that she is a lesbian woman, although I wouldn't put some of that past either the hormone treatments or just some underlying fourth/fifth-level element of personality), but it makes a good first-stop classification[1].
Not that anyone's current focus, at the moment, but I'd say that matching your particularly three-point classification with a compatible second-party is probably the most important thing. (And vice-versa. No good if they're the right person for you, but you aren't the kind of person they are looking for.) Strangely, the "Gender" (as defined under that scheme) seems to be the least relevant parameter. At least at face value. But as far as forming a personality it probably makes all the difference between one who is a true soul-mate and one who isn't. But perhaps I'm putting too much power of (in)decision into the "sexuality" variable, in particular.
Well, anyway, that's my idea of boiling-it-down. I don't think you're wanting to discuss this, at the moment, but (like I said) I had intended to mention it in passing almost near the start of the thread, so job done. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme.
[1] Where none of the three measures need be binary, in fact they probably aren't, especially the latter which is possibly a massively-multichoice option. I also think that the "sexuality" classification is the bit most people have the most problems with other people, with, saving where sexual segregation/bias itself is the issue.