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[mastahcheese]

I can not believe this, I'm all alone, in a cave, with no pick, no nothing, other than plump helmets and a still.

This. Is. Dwarven.

[smirk]

Only two picks, eh? You should be able to zoom to their locations from the stocks screen, I think, even without a bookkeeper. Or if they don't show up, maybe you can scrounge up enough material to make mastahcheese a chair and do some record-keeping to pass the time. Probably not though; that cave looks pretty meager.

Can I get dwarfed? I'd be fine with being named to an immigrant as soon as they appear on the map. It's looking like the whole point of this place is to die immediately and horribly hilariously, so I might as well join in =D

[hops]

I just realized this is even harder than the Ultimate Challenge.

[GreatWyrmGold]

If the migrants are doomed, have them rush for the pick. They have a 99% chance of death, but a 10-20% chance of drawing the yaks away...and a 1% chance of survival. It's better than having them raise a mug of grimy water to their last moments in this world.

[Orange Wizard]

Working on the update now.

Only two picks, eh? You should be able to zoom to their locations from the stocks screen, I think, even without a bookkeeper. Or if they don't show up, maybe you can scrounge up enough material to make mastahcheese a chair and do some record-keeping to pass the time. Probably not though; that cave looks pretty meager.

Can I get dwarfed? I'd be fine with being named to an immigrant as soon as they appear on the map. It's looking like the whole point of this place is to die immediately and horribly hilariously, so I might as well join in =D

Sadly, I can't zoom to their locations. I think you need a bookkeeper.
mastahcheese would be able to keep books (eh?) if he had a chair, but the wood was used for a door.
And sure, I'll dorf you.

I just realized this is even harder than the Ultimate Challenge.

Despite the fact that the dwarves here embarked with minimal supplies into the middle of a terrif- sinister biome, without any skills?
The Ultimate Challenge is, in comparison, very easy.

If the migrants are doomed, have them rush for the pick. They have a 99% chance of death, but a 10-20% chance of drawing the yaks away...and a 1% chance of survival. It's better than having them raise a mug of grimy water to their last moments in this world.

Luckily a random kid who survived did that for me. The he got torn apart by yaks and Insanity's corpse:

[GreatWyrmGold]

You should have kept some wood...
And anyways, um...yeah, poor kid. Say, how'd you make the kid mine?

[Orange Wizard]

Here's the update! I can't remember which one it is, though.
I didn't make the kid mine. What I meant was that the kid found the pick and lead The Yaks away from it. Then InsanityIncarnate and his arm showed up.
Squish.

After that, nothing happened.

For ages.

Except that I saved the screenshots from this update to some weird location on my hard drive, so I can't find them. Sorry.

Then a caravan turned up. I don't have a depot, so the merchants hung around at the edge of the map for a while. The guards were pretty badass. They stood in a semicircle around the wagon while hordes of yaks, capybara, and migrants charged at them. One of the unarmed merchants got facepunched, (shattering the skull, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the the brain!) by NAV's corpse, which also tore a tendon in the skull, apparently.

The merchants for some reason remained stoic in their defense of the wagon, probably drooling at the great treasures atop Glumprong Tower. (flying lungfish, anyone?)

mastahcheese decided to go on a break while he was dying of thirst. I then noticed that there was actually only one barrel in the cave, and it was full of plump helmets.
He refused to dump aforementioned helmets, preferring instead to add yet another corpse to the fifty-seven running around the map.

[NRDL]

So...reclaim? 

[GreatWyrmGold]

Obviously.

[NRDL]

Huh.  Will you at least spend embark points on hand to hand combat skills for your dorfs?

[Orange Wizard]

The rules were to only embark with a mining pick and a plump helmet.
But now I'm looking at them as more of guidelines.
Yes, I will embark with combat skills. And armor. And weapons.

[NRDL]

Dorf me please. 

[NAV]

Dorf me again please.

[Mr Space Cat]

This fort is hilarious in the cruelest sense of the word. It's like watching a spider struggle to crawl out of a toilet, only to flush the toilet when it's almost out and dump in another spider.

Could I be dorfed as one of the reclaiming squad?...unless there's a big waiting line, of course.

Great screenshot names, by the way.

[Orange Wizard]

I dorfed everyone except Mr SpaceCat, you were a bit late, sorry. Anyway, on with Chapter 4 of Funguspick!

Now, I'm sorry for bending breaking smashing the rules into tiny pieces then dumping them into a metaphorical magma pipe, but I want to see Funguspick succeed. I brought weapons and armor for the dwarves, but I did only bring one pick and one plump helmet.


There seems to be a lot of stuff just lying around, probably from the merchants.


But we have no time for that! Dippedsaved the Right of Routs the zombie yak cow (the one that terrorized this fort from the beginning) has ambushed mastahcheese!

Who promptly kills it.


While GreatWyrmSterlingSilver digs out a new meeting hall, the hammerdwarves are ambushed by an undead horse. It was promptly squished, but not without hurting Objective, and killing mastahcheese.

The dwarves need to get inside now. The hammerdwarves aren't as effective as I'd hoped they'd be, and they're having to fight off an enemy that grows stronger as they grow weaker. And the enemy has hooves.

I ordered the wagons dismantled, we can use the wood to seal off our cave. Once inside, maybe we can dig to the caverns for supplies.
Objective drowned in a pool of his own blood, and InsanityIncarnate started shouting and throwing things. NRDL's shoulder was smashed apart; he was in too much pain to do anything to help.


Then a zombie horse charged into the group, kicking NRDL in the head, putting him out of his misery, and chasing GreatWyrmSterlingSilver away from the others. InsanityIncarnate took out his rage on a pack of capybara skeletons, smashing one's ribs in, while NAV and smirk hung back, unsure of whether they should help Insanity or GreatWyrm.

I'll be surprised if anyone survives this.